one thing

Redefining our identity

2012-02-05T13:25:00.002-04:00

Sunday2012-01-22 from Bertie Brits on Vimeo.

Living without lack

2011-01-02T21:23:00.006-04:00

It IS a HAPPY new year for me.
It has taken much time, but the unconditional love of God is sinking in. His grace towards me, His favor and annointing apon me, His delight in me, His provision for me, His always-with-me never-leaving presence in me, His confidence concerning me, and His life and strength instead of me. Love is taking root...fear is leaving. He loves me. He even likes me. I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! He truely is a good shepherd who cares for each of us uniquely and completely. I am discovering how much I truely don't need a thing. I have been given everything I need already in Him and His love is making it possible to begin to really believe and recieve this reality.

This year I get to ENJOY living from my Spirit; from the place of perfection and completeness. I get to remove the masks, walking free of the fear of man and the intimidation of the enemy. Loosened of my grave clothes, I get to declare resurrection life to others. I get to look towards my future with hope and walk with confidence in the moment. Yep, I am happy.

"Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit". Psalm 32:1-2

Adoption

2010-11-24T04:11:00.005-04:00

Seven years ago I watched this series of videos and was completely wrecked! It was around the same time that God invited this little butterfly out of the jar into the wild and free of His grace. I had absolutely no idea at the time what I was in for. HAHAHA ...and we have only just begun. What an absolute gift to watch them all over again. You are so good Pappa. Thankyou for making me your girl. Perhaps they will comfort and encourage someone else wherever you are at.

iBethel.TV // Bethel Church // Living Unbalanced : Aug 30 '09

2010-01-11T03:51:00.000-04:00

iBethel.TV // Bethel Church // Living Unbalanced : Aug 30 '09

Well worth your time!

each moment...each person

2010-01-05T23:57:00.003-04:00

A chance to show love.
A chance to give hope.
A chance to reveal that God is no longer counting men's sins against them!

playing it safe or taking a chance on love?

2010-01-05T23:33:00.003-04:00

Grace is a risky thing. It really is. So is love, forgiveness, trust,and freedom.
And yet everyday He puts his heart out there...for me. For you. And allows us to choose.

For two whole years Father wrecked me with the revelation of what good news we have been given. It delighted me and made me furious.
I was made for adventure. I was made to love...extravegantly...abundantly.
I was made to live on the edge...to stand out...to be a "light" where it is dark.

But my heart was really hurt and really scared. I needed my protective shell...the cocoon that hid me and kept me safe.

And in the midst of the barriers and the walls your transforming grace left me all the more fragile....but desperate to be free....to fly. Father, you are shifting something in me and its rocking my world.

So here I am. Ready to discover who I am. Ready to take your hand.

The gift He gave....more than enough, my contentment

2009-12-01T00:45:00.005-04:00

HIMSELF (part 2)
by A.B Simpson

HEALING IN HIMSELF

And so I thought the healing would be an it too, that the Lord would take me like an old run down clock, wind me up, and set me going like a machine. It is not thus at all. I found it was Himself coming in instead and giving me what I needed at the moment. I wanted to have a great stock, so that I could feel rich; a great store laid up for many years, so that I would not be dependent upon Him the next day; but He never gave me such a store. I never had more holiness or healing at one time than i needed for that hour. He said " My child you must come to Me for the next breath because I love you so dearly I want you to come all the time. If I gave you a great supply, you would do without Me and would not come to Me so often; now you have to come to Me every second, and lie on my breast evvery moment."

He gave me a great fortune, placed thousands and millions at credit, but He gave me a cheque-book with this one condition,"You can never draw more than you need at the time." Every time a cheque was wanted, however, there was the name of Jesus upon it, and so it brought more glory to Him, kept His name before the heavenly world and God was glorified in His Son.

The gift HE gave...more than enough; the only one we'll ever need. :)

2009-11-30T22:43:00.008-04:00

HIMSELF (part 1)
by A.B. Simpson

I wish to speak to you about Jesus, and Jesus only.

I often hear people say, "I wish I could get hold of Divine Healing, but I cannot". Sometimes they say "I have got it!" If I ask them "What have you got?" the answer is sometimes "I have got the blessing", sometimes it is "I have got the theory; sometimes it is "I have got the healing"; sometimes" I have got the sanctification". But I thank God that we have been taught that it is not the blessing, it is not the healing, it is not the sanctification, it is not the thing, it is not the it that you want, but it is something better. It is "the Christ"; it is Himself. How often that comes out in His word - "...Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses, ...Himself bore our sins in his own body on the tree." It is the person of Jesus Christ we want.

Plenty of people get the idea and do not get anything out of it. They get it into their head and into their conscience, and into their will; but somehow they do not get HIM into their life and spirit, because they have only that which is the outward expression and symbol of the spiritual reality. I once saw a picture of the constitution of the United States, very skillfully engraved in a copper plate, so that when you looked at it closely it was nothing more than a piece of writing, but when you looked at it from a distance, it was the face of George Washington. The face shone out in the shading of the letters at a little distance, and I saw a person, not the words, nor the ideas. I thought, "That is the way to look at the scriptures and understand the thoughts of God, to see in them the face of love, shining through and through; not ideas, nor doctrines, but Jesus Himself as the LIFE and source and sustaining Presence of all our life."

I prayed a long time to get sanctified, and sometimes I thought I had it. On one occasion I felt something, and I held on with a desperate grip for fear I should lose it, and kept awake the whole night fearing it would go, and, of course, it went with the next sensation and the next mood. Of course, I lost it because I did not hold on to Him. I had been taking a little water from the reservoir, when I might have ALL the time recieved from Him fullness through open channels.I went to meetings and heard people speak of joy. I even thought I had joy, but I did not keep it because I had not Himself as my joy. At last He said to me oh so tenderley 'My child just take ME, and let Me be in you the constant supply of all this MYSELF'. And when at last I got my eyes off my sanctification, and my experience of it, and just placed them on Christ in me, I found instead of an experience, the Christ larger than the moments need; the Christ that had all that I should ever need. This Christ was given to me at once, and forever and when I thus saw Him, it was such rest; it was all right and right forever for I had not only what I could hold that little hour, but also in Him, all that I should need the next and the next and so on, until sometimes I get a glimpse of what it will be a million years afterwards when we shall "shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of our Father" (Matt.13:43) and have "all the fullness of God".

Good Works - the branch life

2009-10-28T23:54:00.006-03:00

"....faith without works is dead” (James 2:20)

Since discovering the message of grace I have learned that works are not the root of our salvation.( And by that I'm specifically talking about the mixture of law and grace where we think we have a responsibility to maintain our right standing with God through ongoing good works). No, we are saved by faith through grace alone (Ephesians 2:7-9)! Works are simply the fruit of our salvation. In other words, right faith is the cause and right living is the effect.

But what if you have faith and there are no works folowing?

Tony Sutherland on his blog expounds:

"....if we aren’t detecting outward indications of inward faith then it is a telltale sign we are putting our trust in our own behavior to earn favor with God. In other words we have become self-conscious rather than Christ conscious. When we are self-conscious we trust in ourselves resulting in ‘dead’ faith. This kind of faith begets worthless works. Remember, God justifies us the very moment we believe, thus making our faith and works inseparable. The first produces the second, and the second is the evidence of the first. We are justified by faith in God and the work of His Son thus demonstrating it by our works towards man. It’s not rocket science people! I repeatedly emphasize that we are not saved by faith plus works. To accept this is to believe that the blood of Jesus is not enough thus blaspheming the atoning work of the cross. If it were possible to be saved by faith plus works, then Jesus alone would not be our Savior. In effect we would also need another savior… ourselves. However, the whole of the New Testament (particularly the Pauline epistles) is crystalline… Faith in Jesus alone is what saves us and keeps on saving us. I will not cease in persisting to adamantly hammer home this truth… We can only be saved by the kind of faith, which results in a life of good works...."

"....In light of all of this we must once-and-for-all put to death our self-righteousness, receive God’s free gift of grace by faith and stand firm in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free (Galatians 5:1). When we do this we will end up living for God better accidentally than we ever could on purpose. A great paradox, according to Paul, is that we should diligently labor to rest (Hebrews 4:11). The basis of the Christian life is to rest upon the finished work of Christ and lay down our striving in order that HIS power can live in and through us."

Below are some real golden nuggets pondered from Bertie Brits live webcast tonight:

As a Child of God, God is FOR you, not against you.

*Whatever vision God has given you, know that HE will empower you and give you the favour you need at the right moment. Be free to be yourself and be busy with only that which He invites you to do TODAY.

*Under the new covenant, living out of our new nature, we are not under obligation to do ANYTHING…not that which defines “good citizenship“, not even that which is spiritual in nature. We simply rest content in God’s love, and allow Him to be himself in us and through us. He will naturally bear fruit in our lives and our part is to simply stop resisting it. We have been saved into good works. It is who we are (God IS good) and when we see it manifest it is a confirmation of the truth of the indwelling life of Christ. It is He who is at work in us to desire good and do good! Honour God and His work in you by yielding your members to Him. Let God BE……!

* Good works manifested by His Spirit preach! They declare the power of God, the goodness of God, the provision of God, the love of God, the mercy of God!!!!

*Do not seek to grow stronger in “positive thinking”. Do not pursue good habits (born out of willpower) which is man‘s ability and attempt to do what is right. That produces nothing but DEAD WORKS! Instead be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might. Our strength is in our faith in Jesus and the power of his resurrection. Be strong in the reality of whose you are and who you are!! God is not angry with us , however, our resistance to His Spirit working in us will result in defeat and emptiness and then our hearts and the enemy (not God) will condemn us. God has so much more for us. He has promised us a future and a hope. Jesus, who performed miracles, and lived a life of love, and forgiveness, and possibilities, said, "Truly I say to you, He who puts his faith in me will do the very works which I do, and he will do greater things than these(John 14:12)

Letting go of the old and Coming into the new

2009-10-26T01:09:00.010-03:00

I don't know how or why but something significant occured in my heart today. Somthing fell off and something healed. I wasn't looking for it and I didn't see it coming. A moment in time. A small wonder and a huge miracle.

Today I discovered myself. unexpectedly. Through his eyes.

My name is Cirra.
And today I am coming out.
Out of a cocoon of fear and shame.
Out of the old place of groveling on my belly. Face to the ground.
Uncomfortable in my own skin.
Moving towards a destiny that I didn't understand....
but moving still, by the rhythm of a heartbeat that propelled me stumbling forward.
Into a new freedom.

My Father named me.
He named me Clear; bright; famous.
In my mothers womb He knew me. He delighted in me and said that I would be light-bearer. He identified me as his own, for HE alone is light. He alone is Clear and bright and famous. Not yet born, He called and chose me. To be his beloved. To be identified with him. And like tapestry he weaves the circumstances and desires of my heart. Creating something beautiful, in His time and for His purposes.

I am letting go of the old house. Saying goodby to those faulty foundations and walking barefoot onto the Solid Rock that is Christ, my identity. I am embracing the freedom He is calling me too. Embracing myself the way I finally now see He does. No longer regarding myself or others after the flesh.

2009-03-06T22:03:00.002-04:00

Tired and overwhelmed at present. Brain and body overload.
I have decided to get out my eisel and canvas and soak,soak,soak until I am rested up, refreshed and my heart feels alive again.

xox

lots of love to all my online friends!

Incorruptible, supernatural seed

2009-02-17T01:53:00.011-04:00

In you. In me.
Living, breathing. Alive.
Rooted and established.
Anchored. Safe. Secure.
Sealed.
Growing....bearing fruit.

And just as one couldn't stop the flesh from manifesting whilst under the law...how much stronger is this seed. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God". (Col 3:3)

As my my friend Rich says: "What a wonder-struck sense awaits us as he continues to open the eyes of our heart to see, know that the Law of the spirit of Life has freed us from the gravitational pull of sin and death. His nature is not an add-on, it IS! The works of the flesh ARE! The fruit of the spirit IS!"

"I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me,and I in them WILL produce much fruit." John 15:5

"God is in all. God dwells in Christ. Christ lives in God. We are in Christ. Christ is in us: our life taken up into His; His life recieved into ours; in a divine reality that words cannot express, we are in Him and He is in us. And the words,"Abide in me and I in you" just tell us to believe in this divine mystery, and to count upon our God the Husbandman, and Christ the vine, to make it divinely true. No thinking or teaching or praying can grasp it; it is a divine mystery of love. As little as we can effect the union can we understand it. Let us just look upon this infinite, divine, omnipotent Vine loving us, holding us, working in us. Let us in the faith of His working abide and rest in Him. And let us count upon Him to fulfill in us the mystery: 'Ye in me, and I in you'." - Andrew Murray

How much more beautiful, and enjoyable to anticipate and call forth and discern what is....because it is. And we've only just begun....

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints— the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. Colossians 1:3-6

Beloved ones

2009-02-11T22:53:00.010-04:00

And a voice from heaven said " This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased."

"You are mine"
"You belong"
"You are precious to me"
"You are valuable"
"I am delighted in you"
"You are beautiful"
"You are capable"

The Father knows we need to hear it. He knows the brokeness of His children.
Jesus himself (whole as He was) was affirmed of His Father's unconditional affection.

Before he did anything, the Father affirmed who's He was and who He was.

It's the ammunition for the battle. The battle within our soul, and the battle to overcome the darkness in our families, in our communities and in our cities.

The adversary shortly later would chide Jesus"If you are "the son of God...

As he does to you, and me and countless millions enslaved by the law, who have yet to hear the news of their freedom.

IF?

The good news is that we ARE the righteousness of God in Christ.

This righteousness comes when we have faith in His blood, not our good behavior, to make us righteous. It is from faith to faith, not faith to works, or works to works.

"Scripture reassures us, "No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it." It's exactly the same no matter what a person's religious background may be: the same God for all of us, acting the same incredibly generous way to everyone who calls out for help. "Everyone who calls, 'Help, God!' gets help." But how can people call for help if they don't know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven't heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That's why Scripture exclaims, 'A sight to take your breath away! Grand processions of people telling all the good things of God!" Romans 10:11-15

The good news is not to be preached to show humanity what is wrong with them. It must be preached to show them what is right with them because of Jesus’ work at Calvary.

"Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust" 2 Peter 1:3-4

The LOVE revolution

2009-02-09T00:07:00.003-04:00

I just had to stop in to introduce a band that I just heard on the radio today. I honestly had to stop the car and listen with wonder, not just at what I was hearing but with the realization that Father is up to something BIG....all over, wherever, with whomever, He is whispering and shouting out to His beloved creation "I LOVE YOU." He who has ears let them hear. I'm just thankful for those who do and willingly echo His voice.

From their website here is a blog post. This guy gets it. I love that! I love that a whole generation beneath me are discovering and uncovering the PURE gospel and begining to walk in the freedom and authority of that:

“And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.”
-Fydor Doystoevsky, (the Brothers Karamazov)

"Today, this single phrase has been beating in my head like a war drum.
On the battlefield of my mind, and in the fragile chaos of my machine-like heart,
this simple line has been echoing on.
Reverberating off the walls of war-torn streets,
I can faintly here the Roman calvary choirs singing.
And for me, it sounds a lot like freedom.
This one thought, this shining flickering light is my lighthouse in a thundering sea.
Maybe not you, but I for one have been rather sick and tired of myself as of late.
And more specifically, I’m tired of the lies that I so blindly believe.
I know it may sound melodramatic, but if my heart is where my treasure is
then I’m tired of this love affair I’ve made with doubt and
the seemingly never-ending struggle in my heart.
I want you to get it. I want you to understand that if you struggle with the answers
that you’re not alone. But I also want you to know the root, the cause,
and the fight that’s in between.

Lies
.
There are lies everywhere.
Blinking neon lights, and sweetly penned secrets.
A movie. A sermon. A Day after thanksgiving sale.
How quickly we forget that the things we hear and see are making an impression.
Like an empty place in the bed where a body used to lay,
they’re wrapped up in the sheets, but they don’t need the rest.
They can come without warning and talk for hours without a sound.
Lies tell the future, insist on interpreting the past,
and seem to always keep us paralyzed to the present.
They can fill a closet with skeletons and invite monsters under the bed.
Lies are strangers in friends clothing and fill your house when you’re alone.

Fears.

The inevitable, unstoppable result of listening to something other than the truth.
Cousins, sisters, brothers perhaps? I’m not exactly sure the relation
but I know that its a tie that binds.
Feed one, and you nourish the other.
Nurture a lie, and watch the panic grow.
Forget the truth and welcome anxiety.
Give up on hope, and welcome misery with open arms.

So then it should comes as no surprise
that the most recurrent command in all the Bible is this:
“Do not be afraid.”
Easy enough right?
Well maybe it could be,
but I don’t think we’ll ever live free of fear as long as fear itself is our problem.
Fydor reminds me. Fear is the consequence of a lie,
Which means, if I find in myself some irrisistible anxiety, chances are,
I’ve welcomed a lie into my heart.
And maybe I didn’t exactly welcome it.
Maybe I just forgot to close the door on some memory
or I left the window cracked, but whatever the reason,
if the lie has crept in somewhere,
and has made its home where my faith has worn through,
I must recognize it for what it is.

It should also come as no surprise then, that the work of God is belief.
“This is the work of God, that you believe in the one whom He has sent.”
Or as Jon Foreman sang, “belief over misery.”
Do we understand that fear isn’t something that we are meant to live with?
Do we have any idea how free we would be if we could just believe?
And trust me, I know. It’s not easy.
In fact, its the hardest work any of else will ever have to do,
but its the war we were meant for.
Since we’re grafted into Israel as Romans says,
that means we’re brought in to “wrestle with God,”
for that is exactly what Israel means.
So we fight to rest.
We work to stop working.
We war for peace.
We run to stand still.
Life is waiting for the ones who lose control.
“taking captive every thought, and making it obedient to Christ Jesus.”
Take captive?
Yeah.
Take it freaking captive.
Smack that lie in the mouth and slaughter it with truth.

Here’s some fights I’ve had so far.
Lie: “you’re too screwed up for God to love you anymore.”
Reliation: “God proves his love, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Lie: “I’ve made too many poor choices. I’ve missed God’s will for my life.”
Truth: “Even what you meant for evil, God meant for good.” (Gen 50:20)
“God works all things together for good for those who love God and who have been called”
Lie: “Someone might break in and kill me.”
Word: “Do not fear those who can kill the body and after that can do no more.
Fear him who after killing the body has the power to throw you into hell.” (Luke 12:4,5)
Lie: “I’m not good enough”
Truth: “In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us….” (I John 4:10)
Lie: “I’m awesome. God owes me.”
Truth: “God is not served by men’s hands as if He needed anything…” (Acts 17:25)
Lie: OMG. Can you believe this guy? What a jerk!
Truth: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but with sober judgement,
according the measure of faith God has given you.” (Romans 12:3)
Lie: “Sex will give me the pleasure I’m looking for.”
Truth: “I have no good thing apart from you.” (Psalm 16:2)
“In His presence there is the fullness of joy, at his right hand are pleasures forever.”
(Psalm 16:11)
Lie: “God’s command is going to ruin your good time.”
Truth: “The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give you life,
and life more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Lie: “I don’t have the strength to say no to this!”
Truth: “if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation.” (2 Cor 5:17)
“and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (I Cor 10:13)

The war drum goes on.
It never ends,
it doesn’t stop.
And so avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.
Belief is a fight. Work at it with all the power that God supplies."

- Mike (Lead singer from Tenth Avenue North)

Check them out if you get a chance:

2009-02-06T21:45:00.006-04:00

The gosepl is the unveiling of God's love.

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.'" From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

The law highlights what we must do for God but grace illuminates what God has done and is doing for us. THAT is the unveiling of love, THAT is the good news we all need to hear each day.

Did Jesus come and tell people what they must do for God? Or did he come and tell people what He would do for them, and then demonstrate it?

The power of God to transform!

2009-01-17T23:18:00.010-04:00

The first time I saw this movie almost 10 years ago I remember being so aware that my heart related so much to the character of Javert. It was like looking in a future mirror with shock and horror, and I was humbled by and drawn to the character of Jean Valjean. More so I was intrigued and haunted by the whole story played out in the movie. The clip above, was the first time I ever saw a glimpse of GRACE and MERCY demonstrated, the first time I saw one 'believe the best'....the fruit of the charachter's life later on in the rest of the movie makes so much sense to me now. I didn't understand it all but a hunger for true freedom had been awoken in me.

Today, something similar to what occurred in the clip above brought this whole scene back to memory and I have been asking questions.

How does grace (not law) work to change a man; a culture even?

Paul said: " I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith. (Romans 1:16)

"God made him (Jesus) who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

The gift of righteousness sets people free from condemnation and then they become open to the power of God. And it is the one who embraces this gift and enters through salvation's birth canal who bears the fruit of righteousness. Christianity is not right DOING. It is right BELIEVING. Right believing will always lead to right doing! Those who are FORGIVEN MUCH, will LOVE MUCH!

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently." Galatians 6:1

How do we restore gently?

ALL have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God.
God himself identified with us in our fallen condition when he came as a man and walked among us.

So we walk together with the broken...not alienating them, not pointing fingers and exposing flesh, but understanding that we too have been broken by the curse and it is only LOVE that has freed us. It is only grounded roots of love that produce foilage of beauty and the subsequent mouthwatering fruit of goodness.

Identity is always the issue. Let us tell them who they really are! The gospel proclaims for us all a picture of the finished work of Christ. If we want to give them real, positive, biblical hope, we must make them GOD conscious...not sin conscious, or problem conscious. Not past conscious, or future conscious. FOR He is a very PRESENT help in time of need! We must tell people that God is not holding their sins against them any more.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin -- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." (Rom 6:6-7)

And so we deal with darkness by releasing the light to shine, and do what it was meant to do:

Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way. When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today. Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost. (Luke 19 :1-10)

2009-01-14T10:16:00.003-04:00

"Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the ocean depths.

You care for people and animals alike, O Lord.

How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your rivers of delight.For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see"

Psalm 36:5-9

How strong your love, how relentlessly your kindness pursues me.
It is so good to know that you will never give up on me, never let me down.
How sweet to trust you, to know that you are pure and good; always.
How grateful I am that in you there is no darkness, no intent of harm or self seeking. You are beautiful. You are my one desire. You alone are all that I need and seek. Thankyou for loving me indefinetly.

Does the gospel make a difference?

2009-01-09T20:49:00.005-04:00

Remember, the gospel is "good news".

Interesting article. From Times Online, here:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece

Missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa's biggest problem - the crushing passivity of the people's mindset.
By: Matthew Parris

"Before Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it's Malawi, and The Times Christmas Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities. But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I've been trying to banish all my life, but an observation I've been unable to avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs, stubbornly refuses to fit my world view, and has embarrassed my growing belief that there is no God.

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding - as you can - the practical work of mission churches in Africa. It's a pity, I would say, that salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white, working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission hospital or school and say the world would be better without it. I would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help, then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn't fit the facts. Faith does more than support the missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect that matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing.

First, then, the observation. We had friends who were missionaries, and as a child I stayed often with them; I also stayed, alone with my little brother, in a traditional rural African village. In the city we had working for us Africans who had converted and were strong believers. The Christians were always different. Far from having cowed or confined its converts, their faith appeared to have liberated and relaxed them. There was a liveliness, a curiosity, an engagement with the world - a directness in their dealings with others - that seemed to be missing in traditional African life. They stood tall.

At 24, travelling by land across the continent reinforced this impression. From Algiers to Niger, Nigeria, Cameroon and the Central African Republic, then right through the Congo to Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya, four student friends and I drove our old Land Rover to Nairobi.

We slept under the stars, so it was important as we reached the more populated and lawless parts of the sub-Sahara that every day we find somewhere safe by nightfall. Often near a mission.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, we had to acknowledge that something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers - in some ways less so - but more open.

This time in Malawi it was the same. I met no missionaries. You do not encounter missionaries in the lobbies of expensive hotels discussing development strategy documents, as you do with the big NGOs. But instead I noticed that a handful of the most impressive African members of the Pump Aid team (largely from Zimbabwe) were, privately, strong Christians. “Privately” because the charity is entirely secular and I never heard any of its team so much as mention religion while working in the villages. But I picked up the Christian references in our conversations. One, I saw, was studying a devotional textbook in the car. One, on Sunday, went off to church at dawn for a two-hour service.

It would suit me to believe that their honesty, diligence and optimism in their work was unconnected with personal faith. Their work was secular, but surely affected by what they were. What they were was, in turn, influenced by a conception of man's place in the Universe that Christianity had taught.

There's long been a fashion among Western academic sociologists for placing tribal value systems within a ring fence, beyond critiques founded in our own culture: “theirs” and therefore best for “them”; authentic and of intrinsically equal worth to ours.

I don't follow this. I observe that tribal belief is no more peaceable than ours; and that it suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, extended family and tribe. This rural-traditional mindset feeds into the “big man” and gangster politics of the African city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety - fear of evil spirits, of ancestors, of nature and the wild, of a tribal hierarchy, of quite everyday things - strikes deep into the whole structure of rural African thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won't take the initiative, won't take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

How can I, as someone with a foot in both camps, explain? When the philosophical tourist moves from one world view to another he finds - at the very moment of passing into the new - that he loses the language to describe the landscape to the old. But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? “Because it's there,” he said.

To the rural African mind, this is an explanation of why one would not climb the mountain. It's... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary's further explanation - that nobody else had climbed it - would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosphical/spiritual framework I've just described. It offers something to hold on to to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

Those who want Africa to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

And I'm afraid it has to be supplanted by another. Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone and the machete."

And for further insight, watch this....
http://www.ibethel.tv/watch/41:3:4

Full of Hope in 2009!

2009-01-03T03:32:00.002-04:00

“This I know, God is for me” (Psalm 56:9)

This excerpt from Steve McVEY was exactly what Father has been whispering to my heart:

"Our God is a friendly God and He is sovereign over the universe. So, wherever we are we can trust Him to work all things together for our good. Is the universe friendly? It doesn't matter. The God who rules the universe is.

How you think about life is very important. As you move into 2009, appropriate the virtue of applying God’s underlying goodness to every situation you face in life. Do you believe the following statement? God is for you. There is no substantial ground to stand on when it comes to expecting the best until we have settled that we do, indeed, believe that statement.

Without absolute confidence that God is for you, circumstances may toss your emotions and actions around like a cork in the ocean. The person who has settled on the fact of God’s goodness is able to calmly move forward in anticipation of a good outcome
Does that mean that we always get what we want? Not at all, but it does mean that while our path may be a winding one that sometimes leads us through valleys, we are progressing all the while toward a good place. Any place God leads us is a good place because it is God’s place for our lives.

As you move through the next year, expect the best. Consider every positive result in your life to be a reminder from God of His intent to bless you. Look for His hand and listen for His voice in the subtleties of your day." - Steve McVey

So like I did in the beginning, I am watching and listening. Only this time I am EXPECTING. I am pregnant with the seed of HOPE and that hope will give birth to life in me and for others.

The true reflection

2009-01-02T02:51:00.025-04:00

My lover thinks I'm beautiful and he is enamoured with me.

My Father says I am His delight and He really enjoys me.

Faithfully I've been showered with this ever pursuing, devoted love from the moment of my birth. Words of affirmation....tender touches...lavish gifts....sweet time together...humble service. Over and over He gives to me. In the secret place of conception He smiled on me...

Ephesians 1:3-6
"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son."

But little have I noticed. Rarely have I believed.
My gaze has been at my own tattered, bruised, ugly FLESH.
Scarred by condemnation, groping gratification, poverty's fearful withholding, rejection, isolation and demanding expectations I have kept myself locked in a prison of self hatred. Not living loved, but living as though cursed.

A precious blogging friend shared a parable this week and asked the question that highlights this problem: 'Have you been gazing into your Lover's eyes as He speaks truth to you or are you bewitched by your own reflection in the mirror?'

The stickers only stick if you let them...

To gaze into my lovers eyes means I must lift my eyes and look away from my flesh. I must turn from the curse of the law...until His eyes alone become the true mirror reflection. And Pappa's words, they MUST be the only one's I receive. (Romans 10:17. Peter 6:68) I must preach this gospel to myself daily! And rest confident...

Corinthians 5:14-17
"Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you."

He thinks YOU are beautiful and he is enamoured with YOU.

YOUR Father says that you are His delight and He enjoys YOU.

Faithfully He has and will shower you with this ever pursuing, devoted love. Words of affirmation....tender touches...lavish gifts....His sweet presence...humble service. Over and over He will give to you. In the secret place of conception He smiled on you...He still smiles on you. Will you, with me, percieve and recieve how true and real this love?

A gift worth giving : LIFE!

2008-12-18T23:04:00.006-04:00

“Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son,and they will call him Immanuel,which means ‘God is with us.’” Matthew 1:23

"For to us a child is born, onto us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaih 9:6

The revelations and manifestation of His presence here and now are refreshing proof that Jesus IS ALIVE and INVOLVED in our lives. I don't know why, because I've heard it before, but it really just hit me today that indeed signs and wonders must accompany the beautiful gospel of grace; the great exchange where He bore my death that I may recieve His life. The lost, broken and dying MUST really know that He is the real deal (not a fairytale, a cute little story, a permanent figure in a manger.... or a dead prophet//teacher) but God Almighty....the resurrected Christ....and that He has truely come to give them life to the full!

Wash me with your word.

2008-12-17T23:11:00.003-04:00

Your name is like honey, for your words are sweet.....they are life to me. Speak to the broken places that I may be whole. Tell me who I am again. Give me salve for my eyes.

So much more....

2008-11-27T02:27:00.005-04:00

"My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:16-19)

Let THE CHILDREN come to me...

2008-11-27T01:37:00.002-04:00

One Saturday morning 2 year old boy Joshua heard the song "I See Grace" from his bedroom, then he stopped playing and started to sing from his pure heart...

Jesus my help,
I call on Your name!
I cast my cares on You.

Jesus my hope,
My tower of strength!
My faith is found in You.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross, I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice.
I see love reaching for me
Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies.
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Bearer of sin,
Afflicted and tried!
You paid redemption's price.

Bearing my curse,
You've set me on high!
Your death has brought me life.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice!
I see love reaching for me.

Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

"Our LORD and Ruler, your name is wonderful everywhere on earth! You let your glory be seen in the heavens above. With praises from children and from tiny infants, you have built a fortress. It makes your enemies silent, and all who turn against you are left speechless. I often think of the heavens your hands have made, and of the moon and stars you put in place. Then I ask, "Why do you care about us humans? Why are you concerned for us weaklings? You made us a little lower than you yourself, and you have crowned us with glory and honor. You let us rule everything your hands have made. And you put all of it under our power-- the sheep and the cattle, and every wild animal, the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and all ocean creatures. Our LORD and Ruler, your name is wonderful everywhere on earth!" (Psalm 8:1-9)

Father, here I come with empty hands. I raise them to you who loves me. I am your child. I know you reach for me. I shall not want.

(Thanks Julie for sharing this video, what a precious reminder of the one thing that matters)

Letting go

2008-11-23T09:48:00.005-04:00

Father has a way of disarming us so that HE alone can be be our protection. How else will we get to the origin of Eden where we were naked and yet unashamed? Gently, like this weeks snowstorm, he comes without warning and says "Lay down your weapons....lay down your self preservation. Let go of the things that you think will keep your world together..can I alone be your source of hope and strength and peace? You don't have to play God. I AM. To live in dependance is to enter the vulnerability of humanity, as I did."

"....so I untie the bough line
let it slip through my fingers
I want to call the ship back to the shore.
Instead I struggle out a prayer that finds its way through tear drops,
and my heart cracks in two as I let go.
If I didn't know your captain...
If I didn't trust His skills....
I'd keep you safe at home within our loving arms
but I know you must be going
with the wind that now is blowing
I will watch and pray for you
I will keep a place for you....."

( excert from a song by Paul Young that touched me this week in the middle of my stuff )

The nature of God

2008-11-10T10:12:00.005-04:00

"Absolute Surrender is frightening only to the extent that we don't KNOW or TRUST God's character." - Steve McVey

My life....your life...has been a journey to the center of HIS heart. All the circumstances of our lives, a tapestry woven, until we see the big picture - Christ, the all sufficient one. Christ, (in you) the hope of glory. Until the masterpiece is formed. (Galations 4:19)

I dedicate today's entry to my family in Christ worldwide who I love with all my heart, some struggling in the wilderness of the unknown, struggling through fear and unbelief and others now resting in the land of His promises and abundant life.

"Beloved, He will not rest himself until you have a revelation of what He is really, really like....From this day on there is no such thing as a GOOD day or a BAD day, there is only a DAY OF GRACE. And some days the grace of God allows you to ENJOY what is happening and some days the grace of God allows you to ENDURE what is happening...And the grace of God is going to come and bring with it the nature of God, that you might Know Him, and rest in Him and live in Him, and move in Him and worship Him and represent Him." - Graham Cooke

2008-11-09T10:27:00.004-04:00

I love this journey Father. This bringing me to the end of myself, and the beginning.

You are again revealing another broken cictern for what it is and I am once again left naked and yet covered by your love. ALL of my identity and femininity and purpose and hunger for being has been wrapped up in my role as wife and mother and I've sucked it dry. I am not sure who I am, not sure what you intended for me. And I have exhausted this idol! Even this stripped? Do you really just want me? With all my failures? With all this incompetency? Yes even in the simplicity of being a woman I do not measure up to my own expectations. How beautiful your ways.

I am ready to let you create in me, to shine through me, to be my very life....Not by my own doing. Not by my trying anymore.... Be my identity and enable me to see who I am in YOU. I am so empty without you. Come love me. Come fill me. Come break these walls of fear and rebuke these lies of intimidation. Come teach me how to rest IN YOU completely. Let my identity become as the beloved. I want to be "the loved one". Nothing more. Fruit happens. :)

Breath in, breathe out

2008-10-18T12:44:00.003-03:00

So here I am
learning to breathe again.

Off life support...depending on you to be my very source. And you are.
Thankyou for being my root, my sap, my all.
You are right here with me and yet you beckon me to come close:"Lay your head apon my breast" you say..."Let me put the cup of my love to your lips...drink deeply."
Abba Daddy you are here.El Shaddai you nourish, supply, and satisfy.
Beloved bridegroom I am in your embrace.

Living on manna

2008-10-12T00:30:00.009-03:00

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller

About 5 years back God gave me a peek into my own heart. There it was, a glass jar with NO lid on it. And inside was a butterfly...a butterfly that I suspected had been born in this glass jar.

I don't know when it happened; when I noticed the sky...and that there was more than just the sky to see, and taste and smell, but somehow I was suddenly aware of my desire to experience the free and the wild....the beauty that God intended. To live and breath like Enoch and Abraham of old. The desire was there because the invitation was there(hence no lid).......it's always been there, but this time I looked up. I looked beyong my self, beyond the "walls of safety" and took the leap out.

But I'll be honest, I am embracing this freedom, with much terror...this living life beyond walls. I have been frustrated that I can't measure things, outside the walls. I can't contain things, outside the walls. I can't control tomorrow, or today or the next moment. It's just too big, too unpredictable, too creative, too wild! Too much like a creation in need of it's Creator.

And that's just the ugly beautiful of it all. The idols are being exposed. Every issue of shame and insignificance, guilt and emptiness is rising to surface. And I'm beginning to realise how the walls not only helped me feel secure, they at least let me look secure. I have been holding on to a delusion that those walls gave me security and greater self-respect and have settled for much less than complete abandonment to my Father's love.

And that's just it. To live beyond walls is to throw myself into His arms. It's to say I don't trust in the economy, or employment. I don't trust in the institution of marraige, education or religion. I don't trust in my gifts or abilities. I don't trust in peoples good opinion of me. I just trust you. I trust that You are good, you are with me in all this, and your love for me endures. And I choose to trust in YOU one moment at a time.

Paul Young (author of THE SHACK) writes ".... in the process of becoming whole we are continually given opportunities to exchange all the uncertainties of life for the certainty of God’s character. This is an exercise in dependence and we should recogize it for the revolutionary action and rebellious stand against the systems (who are so quick to promise all manner of ‘certainties’).

As we trust God’s character of Love and particularly His active and involved love toward us, we don’t have to understand the circumstances of our lives in order to live freely and live loved. Faith sees past the uncertainties, and in some sense even embraces them, knowing that the certainty of Papa’s love is the only place where there is real solid ground.

Fear, on the other hand, runs from uncertainty or tries to erect systems and devices or gives allegiance to anyone or anything that promises to make life more certain. But the ultimate little child pointing out the emperor’s nakedness, is death. Death is a mockery of every attempt at certainty and why the world lives in fear of death, the one ‘potential’ that is assuredly ‘certain’.

The life of being loved and the life of faith is a life of risk; learning to hear the voice of One who loves in the midst of screaming uncertainties and demanding necessities. It is a journey and process…this learning to live loved. We will make lots of mistakes, but like Peter and Mack, we will come to understand and actually be overwhelmed by joy when we begin to realize that we would rather be sinking out on the water with Jesus than ’safe’ back in the boat, without Him."

Learning to love faithfully

2008-09-16T10:41:00.009-03:00

My nanna passed away last week.
She was a woman that I sadly did not have the priveledge of knowing.....really knowing. She had lived through a difficult childhood but had only spoken a little of it in the last few years of her life here on earth. Moments of humble service, acceptance,and honor had melted the heart enough to allow for moments of vulnerabilty. Love had created a safe place. In those moments of discovery I saw glimpses of a young girl more alive than the woman who shared the stories. My heart grieved over the protective shell that prevented such vitality and passion from emerging more fully. And in this time of rememberance I saw the ways in which she had loved. And I wished not only that I had loved more but that I had seen and recieved more of the love she had offered.

Now, in the safest place, she blooms. In the light of Love she is free. Like an emerging butterfly she will see the beauty He had intended. Like a flower unfurling in the warmth of the sun's gaze, the fragrance that is unique to her shall be poured out as worship and love to her Creator. In His eyes she stands complete. He makes all things new, and beautiful, in His time.

But I am learning. Learning that loving others is not a waste. One waters and waters seed even if there is no immediate recognition of care, no sprout to say "It's working". No, it is only when we look back that we see what love has done. It is really NOW, in my freedom, that I want to and need to say thank you to those of you who loved me and love me still, encouraged me and encourage me still, who never gave up on me and served me a cup of water in Jesus name. You who shine the keeping, covenant love of the Father. You who were Jesus in skin for me.... for many years or maybe in passing. I too am blooming. I am learning to notice the love you extend to me.

John Newton, who himself had drunk deeply from the fountain of grace, once said "If as I go home, a child dropped a halfpence, and if, by giving it another, I can wipe away its tears, I feel I have done something. I should be glad to do greater things but I will not neglect this."

I want to "do something" too. Just one thing, one moment at a time, can and does add hope to dispare. One small candle still lights a dark room. I want the transforming love of Jesus, the tender heart of my Father to flow as a river in my life. I want to see gardens spring up from deserts.

I want to be a safe place....a well to drink from...a servant.... I want to be like the faithful lover of my own soul.

Drink deeply, sleep peaceful

2008-09-05T22:26:00.003-03:00

The Father's love
My heart at rest
Full, full, full...mmmmmm

Guarding my heart

2008-08-17T20:13:00.009-03:00

"Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

"Be careful," Jesus said to them. "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees."

ANY exhortation that encourages us to focus on what WE must do (in order to experience God's love, blessing, or favor in our life) will NOT bring LIFE to our Spirit. Anything that invites us to add on to the finished work of God in Christ is not good news but rather a message of death...an invitation to a life of curses!

That's alot of voices to push away....

And so it grows quieter around here. Listening...listening for that still small voice.

Shine on me!

2008-08-04T15:22:00.007-03:00

Light Of Your Face - Misty Edwards
This past weekend friends and I spent time hanging out together enjoying the presence of Jesus. As we sang and meditated on this song I began to reflect on the present outpouring of God's glory worldwide....the ever increasing manifestation of His goodness and grace towards the sons of men...and I turned to the Psalms to find words with which to express my thankfulness. My eyes fell on Psalm 67: 1-2 (which is the Psalm we were singing together) and a shift suddenly happened in my heart.

In the Amplified Bible the Psalm reads:
"God be merciful and gracious to us and BLESS us and cause His face to shine upon us and among us (Selah - think of that)That your way may be known upon the earth, your saving power (Your deliverances and Your salvation) among ALL nations."

For the longest time I have not accepted the goodness of God. I have not welcomed the abundant mercy and the lavish blessings that He has longed to pour out apon me. I have been walking as an orphan and believed falsely that to resist my Father's extravegance and be self sufficiant was humilty. How wrong I have been!

"Your goodness is so great! You have stored up great blessings for those who honor you. You have done so much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before a watching world. " Psalm 31: 19

The world is broken and looking for love. What orphan child doesn't look at a family in which affection, protection, nurture and provision are abundant and long for the same? Why do we act as though we don't need these things and can get by? We have a good and loving Father who says: "Everything I have is yours!"

Joseph Prince has a teaching that expounds on this. He says that Jesus delights in us drawing from Him. We honour God when we take our place as man and let God be God by drawing from Him. The One who said, “I did not come to be served, but to serve,” (Matthew 20:28) loves it when we allow Him to minister to us! How true this is! He IS love and He IS goodness (Exodus 34:6-7) He never stops being who He is but only some are BOLD enough to approach the throne of Grace, sit on His lap and receive from all that He is. There is no limit. And we fall so short when He has even called us to ask for whole nations.

The more I trust His love, the more confident I become. It is the Father's good pleasure to give me the kingdom! I am growing to EXPECT His affection, His protection, His nurture and His provision...not just for me but for others!

Surrender

2008-08-04T15:14:00.009-03:00

Take my hand, take my whole life too....
for I can't help falling in love with you.

God you are so good. Your love endures forever! You have patiently waited for me. Wooing me. Lavishing your love and kindness on me. How great is your mercy and grace!

How can I but say YES to you?! How can I hold back when your grace is so secure?! I trust you. Completely. I DO.

I want to play the strings of your heart, God.
Come play the strings of mine.
I want to sing straight to your heart God.
Come sing straight to mine.

You have my heart.
Lord, you have my heart.
Lord, you have my heart.
And I am searching for yours.

Lord, you have my thoughts.
Lord, you have my thoughts.
Lord, you have my thoughts.
And I am searching for yours.

Lord, you have my song.
Lord, you have my song.
Lord, you have my song.
And I am searching for yours.

I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
Jesus

I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
Jesus
Strings - Misty Edwards

One thing matters

2008-07-17T22:53:00.003-03:00

There is nothing else worth living for but this!

Qualified through adoption!

2008-07-12T13:12:00.008-03:00

"But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12

I was poor, naked, ashamed, in bondage and dying.
I beheld Jesus who was abundantly rich in all things, clothed in humility and majesty, full of favor, love, liberty and life and saw that he was inviting ME to make an exchange and come into union with HIM!
I trusted him. With childlike faith I believed in His love and received His offer of mercy, grace and goodnesss toward me. I believed the exchange to be possible! He took all of my wretchedness and I received all His beauty and dignity. I was given a new name and a new identity! The old was gone and I was made a new creation!
That is the power of the gospel.

When we are born again and begin our lives in the Spirit, God's word says that we are made complete through our union with Christ. That's right! When we place our faith in Jesus we become children of God . We are now holy, acceptable, blamesless, perfect, without a single fault in the Father's eyes. No amount of culture, high ideals, good deeds, status, education, gift, talent or approval of men can ADD to our position in Christ. None of that stuff can exalt us any higher than we already are as sons and daughters of the most High God! HE alone is our goodness; our righteousness. His love has covered us, wrapping us like a priestly/princely robe. The Father's seal of adoption is apon us. The work is FINISHED. We receive the FULLNESS (in Jesus) of all that God created and intended us to be. Our value in the worlds eyes makes no difference to God. We are free from their estimation of our value and worth.

Jesus life, death and resurection purchased this precious gift for me. God's love for me has qualified me!
*****************************************************

I have recently requested a daily devotional sent to my inbox from Joseph Prince. I have added the one that I recieved today below as I thought it very fitting:

All That Jesus Is Before God, You Are

"For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

When an Israelite brings an animal as his sin offering, he lays his hand on it before killing it. (Leviticus 4:1–4) By laying his hand on the sin offering, his sins are transferred to the innocent animal. The animal dies for his sins and he goes free.

In contrast, with the burnt offering, when the Israelite lays his hand on the animal (Leviticus 1:3–4), the beauty, worthiness and acceptance of the unblemished animal are transferred to him. God accepts the perfection of the animal sacrifice on his behalf to make atonement for him. Because God accepts the unblemished burnt offering, he now has right standing before God.

Do you know that the two offerings speak of Jesus’ one offering of Himself when He hung on the cross? He is both our sin offering and burnt offering — “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us [as our sin offering], that we might become the righteousness of God in Him [as our burnt offering]”. The moment you put your faith in Him, just by His one sacrifice, your sins were transferred to Him, and His righteousness was transferred to you. That is the grace of God towards you!

As our sin offering, He offered Himself once and for all. (Romans 6:10) The sin offering was never a daily offering because God does not want His people to be sin-conscious. However, the burnt offering was both a morning and evening sacrifice (2 Chronicles 13:11) because God wants His people to be righteous-conscious.

Likewise, God wants you to lay claim daily on Jesus as your burnt offering and say, “Father, I thank You that Jesus is my burnt offering. All that Jesus is before You — His righteousness, excellence, beauty and perfection — is transferred to me. Jesus has Your unclouded favour, so I enjoy Your unclouded favour in my life. Jesus is the righteousness of God, so I am the righteousness of God in Christ. As He is before You, so am I.”

Because Jesus became your burnt offering, what He is to the Father today, you are! That is what it means to be in Christ.

Freedom

2008-06-20T01:47:00.001-03:00

I will remember your sins NO MORE

2008-06-05T00:41:00.005-03:00

After 30 years of acute depression I am gloriously free!!!! Sometime around March or April I began to soak in the message of grace exclusively. It has been soooooooo long that I have struggled with shame, anxiety, fear and a deep sadness that I'm almost hesitant to announce it hahaha but I literally feel an inner bubble of joy and laughter and peace that I have never before experienced. :) I am finally understanding and standing on the truth that I am the beloved and righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. The law and abuse I lived under as a child finally has no hold on me...the healing is no longer just a momentary glimpse. The release of grace, mercy and forgiveness for the ones who "knew not what they were doing" is flowing beyond just choice but now unto full compassion. Praise God!!!

I know I am called to the nations, and now there is NOTHING holding me back! I am so excited by what Jesus is doing in my heart and I am even grateful now for the LONG healing process. I have such a compassion now not just for the wounded but even for the religious legalist whose bondage I deeply understand. There is nothing as debilitating as the burden of condemnation.

I believe the video below is a prophetic picture of what The Father is about to do all over the earth for His bride:

"Heads up! The days are coming
when I'll set up a new plan
for dealing with Israel and Judah.
I'll throw out the old plan
I set up with their ancestors
when I led them by the hand out of Egypt.
They didn't keep their part of the bargain,
so I looked away and let it go.
This new plan I'm making with Israel
isn't going to be written on paper,
isn't going to be chiseled in stone;
This time I'm writing out the plan in them,
carving it on the lining of their hearts.
I'll be their God,
they'll be my people.
They won't go to school to learn about me,
or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They'll all get to know me firsthand,
the little and the big, the small and the great.
They'll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust." (Hebrews 8:6-13)

A sleeping bride is being aroused...awakened from her stupor and captivated by the revelation of a clean conscience. What compassion and mercy is this?! Fear and Condemnation is falling off. Jesus, our beautiful bridegroom will be the desire of all the nations. A revolution is coming!

Starting over

2008-05-28T17:05:00.005-03:00

God is taking me on a journey. I am blown away that all those early whispers were truely His calling to me. I am delighted and in awe. I am falling in love all over again, and all the regrets....all the former failures....and all the stuff I tried to make succeed (even that which did) doesn't matter anymore. It finally doesn't matter.

Selah.

"... I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),and that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]. Phil.3:8-10 (Amplified)

He is jealous for me
loves like a hurrican I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden...

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

And oh how He loves us oh
Oh how he loves us
how he loves us Oh

We are His portion
and He is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
if grace is a notion than we're all sinking

so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
He loves us
oh how he loves us
He loves us
oh how He loves us....

(Song by John Mark McMillan)

Messenger of "Good News"

2008-05-04T22:43:00.008-03:00

"Seeing more and more the wonderous supply of grace laid up in Jesus, the fulness of our precious saviour, my guilt and helplessness seemed to increase. Sins committed appeared but as trifles compared with the sin of unbelief which was their cause, which could not or would not take God at his word, but rather made Him a liar! Unbelief I felt was the damning sin of the world; yet I indulged in it. I prayed for faith, but it came not, What was I to do?......." (Hudson Taylor on the struggle for faith)

In my own longing to understand the depth and completeness of all Jesus has done,I found myself crying out "....but Lord I don't know that I yet fully BELIEVE in the finished work! I am still prone to trust my efforts. Why can't I comprehend?" In the quietness I hear...."Rest child, is it not your very unbelief that I have covered with my blood?"

Yes. The very core. The very root of all rotten fruit. Even that. Especially that!
You took MY unbelief and exchanged it for YOUR righteousness.

"If we believe not, He abideth faithful..." 2Timothy 2:13

"...But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One!...and when I saw, oh how joy flowed!.." (Hudson Taylor on the revelation of our oneness with Jesus)

So there's my sin....naked, exposed, craving self-effort and you whisper "Look away from your sin...look at MY righteousness. The righteousness that covers you even now. I am the only sure thing."

"I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20

*****************************************************

"And when he comes, he will convince the world of it's sin, and of God's righteousness, and of the coming judgement. The world's sin is unbeleief in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgement will come because the prince of the world has already been judged." John 16:8

The cross

2008-02-13T01:21:00.013-04:00

I have been trusting in an incredible love for almost 29 years now.....trusting but not fully comprehending...

I was 5 years old. Unaware that the next 29 years would hold much shame, confusion and pain. Resting for an afternoon nap.....he appears. On the yellow chair in my room. And he beckons me to follow him. I do, of course. He is Jesus....

And He shows me all that he did for me.....
With simple trust I am forever changed.....born anew that afternoon.

The memory of all that he showed me GONE....
just the memory of his face, the warmth of his love.
and to that I have clung for 29 years

But now, I want to KNOW what he did for me. Not intellectually. I am tired of living by principal. I want to know the very root of the love I saw in his eyes. I want to cling to something stronger than a memory. I want to know the power of the cross!
The cross: where the admiration of humanity will not lure me...or the condemnation of humanity lame me. (Galations 6:14)

return to one thing

2008-01-17T02:37:00.005-04:00

...the pain
...the desolation
...the loneliness

...the utter barren.....empty.....landscape

that reveals my heart. Lonely, barren, empty.
Aching for idols ...looking back to Eygpt....wanting comfort

Is this what it was all about....

bringing me to see the dark in me..... and how you love me tenderly

until all that matters is you

God is committed to bringing us the greatest joy possible, however such joy is only found in Him. Therefore, He allows, and even causes, us to have our most cherished dreams shattered in order that we will quit hoping in them and find our joy in Him.- Larry Crab

Behold, I make all things new...

2008-01-07T22:53:00.000-04:00

The New year is here now.

It came without fanfare. No grand visions or anxious scribbles of destiny and desire. No...not like the years before.

I weakly ask the Father that my heart not be so jaded that I care not for tomorrow.
And his answer to me is MERCY that is NEW every morning. Just one morning at a time.

I have been timid to write. I have also had little to say. Life has humbled me this past year and I am in reflection alot....in a quieter way then I have known before. My ambitions, ideas, identity and efforts were joustled and shaken. All while jesus slept.

But the storm is over. I can tell because there is a quiet confidence that is not my own....a peace and stillness that hangs over my soul despite my religious leanings otherwise, a rest that only He could bring to this battered heart.

Truely..."A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish." (isaiah 42:3)

So I hold on with fresh hope....with thankfulness that there is today and tomorrow and learning to live from this place.

"Lord, to whom shall (I) go? You have the words of eternal life. (I) have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God." Isaiah 6:68-69
I dont know much anymore God...but I know I love you.

Perhaps Im not alone:
Webisode 4

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Embracing weakness

2007-12-09T13:08:00.000-04:00

"Rick Hoyt is a severely disabled man. He is a mute quadriplegic who suffers from cerebral palsy and whose only way of communicating is through typing, with his mouth, into a special computer.

5 years ago when Rick was a teenager, he read a story about a charity run that was being organized to help a young man in his school who had just become paralyzed in an accident. Rick’s heart was moved and he typed out to his dad that he wanted to participate in the race as a way of showing this young man that life wasn’t over because he was now disabled.

His dad, touched by his son’s request, agreed to push him in the 5-mile race. It was 5 miles that would affect the whole journey of their lives

Since that first race, Dick Hoyt has participated with his son in hundreds of marathons and even iron men contests where he has not only pushed a wheelchair with his 110 pound son for 26.2 miles but he has towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars -- all in the same day.

Yet when they cross the finish line, it’s Rick, not his father, who gets the ribbon placed around his neck.

Each one of us has a race the Lord is calling us to run but it feels like He’s asking us to run the Boston Marathon when we can barely jog around our neighborhood. We feel disabled by the limitations and weaknesses we see in our lives.

Some of us become discouraged. We decide that we’ll never be qualified to run “the big race” so we don’t even try. Instead we’re content to stay on the sidelines or jog in a few small races. But deep inside we know we’ve never stepped up fully to all that the Lord has for us.

Others of us begin to train obsessively. We work hard to perfect ourselves so that we can be properly prepared for the race. The problem is we never feel prepared. There’s always something else we could be doing better, some other area of our lives that needs fixing before we can enter the race.

When the Lord calls us to run a race it’s not because He thinks we’re qualified. In fact it’s the opposite. God delights in choosing foolish things to shame the wise and weak things to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). Why? Because God’s power is made perfect in weakness.

Paul understood this and that is why he could say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

How many of us can honestly say we boast in our weaknesses? How many of us are willing to swallow our pride and openly display our weaknesses so that the power of God can rest on us?

The truth is we don’t expose our weaknesses – we hide them. We use them as an excuse not to venture with God. Or we frantically try to fix them so we can be “good enough” to be used by God.

In the story of Rick and Dick Hoyt it is the son’s weakness that allows the father’s love and strength to be displayed. That is what deeply moves us. Imagine what would happen if we, as believers, would “glory in our weakness”? What kind of pure love and power of God could be displayed to the world around us?

We are in a season where the Father is establishing us in rest. We hear the Lord is saying “Peace! Be Still” to the endless hamster wheel of human perfectionism. We don’t have to run around and around in circles anymore, trying to fix our weaknesses. We have a loving Father who will never call us to a race without giving us the grace to complete it – even if it means that He has to carry us the whole way. May we, like Paul, learn to boast in our weakness that Christ’s power may be seen. " (watchmen.org/seasonoflights/vision.asp)

Finding my voice

2007-12-01T01:24:00.000-04:00

"Open your mouth for those who cannot speak, and for the rights of those who are left without help. Open your mouth. Be right and fair in what you decide. Stand up for the rights of those who are suffering and in need." Proverbs 31:8-9

My daughter and I have been on a journey through history in our studies together and I am being increasingly broken by humanity's past and humanity at present. We still live in a world where life and freedom are not fully protected and honoured.

"The thief comes only to steal, slaughter, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." - Jesus (John 10:10)

I can relate to the internal agony of Wilberforce as illustrated in the movie "Amazing Grace". Ignorance is indeed bliss but truth untouched is silent torture. I am becoming fully aware that there is a lions roar in me that has been supressed and struggles to find a voice. Because my own voice was silenced....I have found it easier to shut out the crys of others. I have found myself indifferent to the small acts of justice done by unjaded children.

As I reflected on personal moments of passion as a child I noticed they were always connected to rescue. When I dream in the night, I dream of rescue. When I imagine my future, I always see rescue. I know who I am when deep calls to deep. But I'm stuck. Freedom must reach me first. I am ready to be broken.

"What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." - Martin Luther King

More Love, More Power, More of you Jesus. Let your kingdom come in me and then may it spill out, a fragrant offering.

"If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large” -William Wilberforce-

http://www.antislavery.org/
http://www.jfci.org/
http://www.bound4life.ca/

made in His image

2007-10-10T14:52:00.000-03:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela

The God of the impossible

2007-10-09T15:54:00.001-03:00

With hope deferred and failures too many to list...I was broken this week by what seems impossible and out of reach; relational wholeness, unity and honor.

My youngest son reminded me today: "Mommy if God is powerful enough to create this whole world than He is powerful enough to help us learn to love one-another."

Out of the mouths of babes tender wisdom is spoken.

"One of the keys to life is to feed on what God is doing and what he has done and NOT on what he hasn't yet done. So often we face disappointment which will put us in a place of vulnerability. What we need is to be ever conscious of a God who invades the impossible." - Bill Johnson

When heaven invades earth

2007-03-04T21:08:00.000-04:00

The key to evangelism and sanctification are real encounters with God. The LIVING God. In spirit and in truth. Through the supernatural experience of divine glory, and through earthly containers of glory.

The word became flesh.....and moved into the neighbourhood

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

"...we must remember that it was not by interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give our superfluity and draw back before we sacrifice of ourselves." (Amy Charmichael)

The Word became flesh

2007-02-14T23:37:00.000-04:00

"The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, (Full of Grace and Truth) Generous inside and out, true from start to finish." John 1:14

I went seeking you - in your precepts, in your promises. You were there, but there was more....

Jesus, you are so real. It's Incredible!
You are tangible, accessible, touchable, and reachable!
You are everything I have ever and always wanted and needed. You are my Father. You are my friend. You are my brother. You are my lover. You are my breath. You are my will. You are my desire. There is no other.

I want to hold your hand, always. Never let mine go. I want to fly beneath your wings, kiss your feet and laugh when you kiss mine, sing in harmony with you and dance in time. I see your smile cheering me on. How sweet your gaze oh Beloved one!

When all is crashing down...there is You

2007-02-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

In the stillness of a moon-lit night...I looked up and remembered my life
How could I taste, how could I touch or even breathe
How could I hear your voice, or move or even speak
Without you...
In the dawning of a brand new day
I woke up and creation praised
how could i question, think too hard or ever doubt you
When all the earth shouts out that life would never even be
Without you...
In the silence of a cold, dark room I looked up and could still see you
How could you pick me up every time I fall
How could I ever make it through this life at all
Without you...
In Him I live, In Him I move and have my being
- Jesse Goodman (In the stillness)

Dark, but Lovely

2007-01-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

"There is, for each of us, a point of choice, when we determine just exactly who we will be. Whether we will continue to stay behind the veil of our own darkness, or come close to Him despite it. It is this desperate longing to draw near to Him, even in the midst of our sin, which leads us to the place where His sheep feed and find rest. We remember anew that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). It causes us to see ourselves in a different light. We are no longer the “veiled.” We are the Beloved." – John Crowder

Father I feel your grace this year! I was tempted to bemoan my failures but you said "Forget the former things..." I await the wind of your Spirit. Blow apon these fragile wings. I DO want to soar with YOU!

"We have to understand both dimensions of the redeemed heart to understand the grace of God in a more complete way. There is a greater capacity for sin in our hearts than we comprehend. No one fully grasps the depth of the wickedness in the human heart. We have many unperceived areas of sin which lie undetected below the surface like hidden fault lines. On the other hand, the grace of God has helped us in ways which we do not fully understand. "

"To know that I am dark yet lovely is to understand my weakness, which is comprised of my sinfulness, my immaturity and my natural limitations together with the revelation of my loveliness to Him. “Bow down Your ear, O Lord, hear me; for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life, for I am holy” (Psalm 86:1,2). Without understanding this combined confession, we cannot continually progress in our pursuit of love. We are both far weaker and far lovelier than we realize. This is one of the most difficult tensions for a believer to combine. Typically we can understand one side of this paradox or the other, but we have difficulty grasping both of them together. By knowing our darkness, we fully receive and draw upon His strength. By nature, we so often want to be able to stand in our own resolution and commitments to the Lord. Yet God is committed to revealing the weakness of our flesh to us. He wants us to have a leaning heart at the end of the journey. He desires that we would not find our confidence in our commitment to Him but in His commitment to us. As Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it”? (Jeremiah 17:9)

"By knowing our beauty to Him we are empowered to have confidence before God even when our sin and immaturity is unveiled. When the enemy comes with accusation regarding my weakness or immaturity, I respond with the truth of Jesus’ delight in me even in my weakness. When He comes to deceive me into taking pride in my beauty or strength, I respond with the vivid remembrance of my weakness. Our loveliness protects us from shame and condemnation. Our weakness keeps us from pride and arrogance. Together they enable us to wholeheartedly abandon ourselves in love, confident before Him." - Dana Chandler

"We are God's image - yes, but we are not yet God's likeness; we have a capacity for God - yes, but it is not yet fully actualized. And so it is that to experience our divine capacity is to experience our innate nobility and our innate poverty - both experiences urging us on in our quest for God." - (quote from the Notre-Dame de l'Assomption Abbey)

One story

2007-01-25T01:40:00.001-04:00

"I found Betty. She was an older woman whose husband had left to get the mail a memory ago and never came back. Her world went into a downward spiral of poverty that ended there – in the motel – cold, hungry and alone. I knew this wasn’t about starting a ministry, firing up a program in the church or doing a good deed to ease my conscience.This was about the simplicity of worship. As much as I was being awakened in the ethos of music and the arts to intimacy with Christ – I was discovering that here at the fringes of society in whatever I was doing to the “least of these” – I was encountering Him.It began down the pathway of finding friends among the poor and marginalized of the world. Strange thing is though – in finding the poor and oppressed, we found God in a way I would have never thought possible. As we became friends with Betty, she became a friend of God. Some time after our first meeting she would die and I can’t wait to see her again and thank her for introducing me to so much about what life and worship are really all about.
There was a fragrance in this exchange that I’ve found to be unmatched in any other place – and without this as a part of our life – it is lost in the gathered place of liturgy. Not only is it lost to the church and the society to which it is called – but it is lost to God as well, a tragedy indeed, and worship is lost.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

As one who has a sense of calling in serving the church at large by making a way for her to express her worship – I cannot be silent about justice. We cannot be a worshipping people without being a community of justice within and without our walls. I cannot be faithful to my destiny in worship without continually wrestling with the place of justice in my life as a worshipper and the worshipping community that I am a part of." - David Ruis

Digging wells and planting seeds

2007-01-22T23:26:00.000-04:00

How much is it worth to dig wells and plant seeds in a barren desert land? What will come of it?

I came to a point of decision and deep cost a few years ago and turned away in fear. I didn't realize it fully until the invitation away from fear and into adventure came again and again.......slowly, consistantly and painfully reminding me of what I lost. I regret it all so deeply. So much so that numbness became an easier place to dwell. But when you are used to being "a heart on a sleeve" and you enter the new world of the cold, you cannot possibly stay long. There is no integrity in this life. The Lord in his grace has invited me to sow again. In his mercy, he beckons me to dig again. I suspect that the conditions will not be as easy and indeed the work will be even harder, having allowed the soil to grow fallow, having neglected to re-dig a well when the enemy came and sabatoged the first one, but:

"Hear this! The days are coming--the LORD's declaration--when the plowman will overtake the reaper and the one who treads grapes, the sower of seed. The mountains will drip with sweet wine, and all the hills will flow with it. I will restore the fortunes of My people Israel. They will rebuild and occupy ruined cities, plant vineyards and drink their wine, make gardens and eat their produce. I will plant them on their land, and they will never again be uprooted from the land I have given them. Yahweh your God has spoken. "Amos 9:13-15

What God has joined together, let NO man separate.

2007-01-19T00:50:00.000-04:00

There are certain truths that are uniquely powerful and glorious by themselves, however, they simply can not stand by themselves. They are a marriage of principals. Together, they ARE the true gospel lived out.

“The greatest commandment is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength and the second is LIKE it, Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Love the Lord your God:
It is Faith alone that pleases God. Without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God. Faith is our path of connection to God. Faith is the substance in which our relationship with Him has it's beginning, and it's maturation. Faith is the longing to trust and believe the best, the bold reach for the highest ideal - no matter what doubts and discouragement assail us. Despite cinical or fraudulent testement otherwise. Faith is a most beautiful and precious gift. Faith is, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer -the union of God with man, the commitment of man to God.

In the great love chapter (Corinthians 13) there are numerous acts of faith listed.....
but again and again we read that without love these acts of faith are MEANINGLESS.

" I may speak in the languages of humans and of angels. But if I don't have love, I am a loud gong or a clashing cymbal. I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed, and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge. I may even have enough faith to move mountains. But if I don't have love, I am nothing. I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned. But if I don't have love, none of these things will help me. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its own praises. It isn't arrogant. It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs. It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end. There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed, but it will no longer be used. There is the gift of speaking in other languages, but it will stop by itself. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will no longer be used. Our knowledge is incomplete and our ability to speak what God has revealed is incomplete. But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will no longer be used. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways. Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly. Now my knowledge is incomplete. Then I will have complete knowledge as God has complete knowledge of me. So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love."

A marraige without love gives little meaning to the symbol of faithfulness.
Faith without works is dead.
Faith IS the prized jewel,
but it needs the perfect setting of love to shine.
Love alone will display the beauty and authenticity of faith.

Love your neighbour as yourself:
Jesus said OFTEN, "Go learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice'.” He's teaching us HOW to love Him. In Isaiah 58 the heart of God pours out with His longing.

"The LORD says, "Shout as loud as you can! Tell my people Israel about their sins!
They worship me every day, claiming that they are eager to know my ways and obey my laws. They say they want me to give them just laws and that they take pleasure in worshiping me." The people ask, "Why should we fast if the LORD never notices? Why should we go without food if he pays no attention?" The LORD says to them, "The truth is that at the same time you fast, you pursue your own interests and oppress your workers.
Your fasting makes you violent, and you quarrel and fight. Do you think this kind of fasting will make me listen to your prayers? When you fast, you make yourselves suffer; you bow your heads low like a blade of grass and spread out sackcloth and ashes to lie on. Is that what you call fasting? Do you think I will be pleased with that?
"The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. "Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond. "If you put an end to oppression, to every gesture of contempt, and to every evil word; if you give food to the hungry and satisfy those who are in need, then the darkness around you will turn to the brightness of noon. And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry. Your people will rebuild what has long been in ruins, building again on the old foundations. You will be known as the people who rebuilt the walls, who restored the ruined houses." The LORD says, "If you treat the Sabbath as sacred and do not pursue your own interests on that day; if you value my holy day and honor it by not traveling, working, or talking idly on that day, then you will find the joy that comes from serving me. I will make you honored all over the world, and you will enjoy the land I gave to your ancestor, Jacob. I, the LORD, have spoken."

Scriptures says that if we come to bring an offering to God but remember our brother has something against us, we are to leave our offering and go make things right first.

“How can you say you love God whom you can’t see when you do not love your brother who you can see.”

“If you love me, obey my commandments. This is my commandment, Love one-another”

God takes personal how we relate to others, after all, each individual is made in HIS image and we are created a connected body. Nothing happens on this earth that does not affect or touch us, or Him.

"What you have done to the least of these, my brethren, you have done it unto me.”

Our offering, our sacrifice, our worship is a costly perfum but it needs the sweet aroma of right relationships to be a truly pleasing fragrance. Honor & grace make our sacrifice valuable.

The two commandments are NOT a divided focus. ALL of the law and the prophets hang on these two truths. They flow only in context with one-another. We cannot have one without the other. And it is only when both are in place that He is glorified, and the kingdom of God is manifested in power. This is Heaven kissing Earth.

In preparation for the big day

2006-12-31T03:37:00.000-04:00

I have spoken often of the body of Christ
as the bride of Christ.

In Western thought this may be premature. She is no more the bride today then I was the bride of my own beloved prior to December 10th 1994. She is called. She is invited. Perhaps even captured. But she has not yet become the bride. In Eastern thought she (the body of Christ) is the bride of Christ....chosen by the Father for the Son. And so we, who have been birthed into the family of God, are betrothed. Promised to the Son. The responsibility upon us is to remain pure and faithful until the wedding day comes and our union is complete.

Having had puzzling dreams of the approaching wedding between Christ and his bride, I have been increasingly anxious to understand the parables Jesus spoke of regarding the big day. I have wrestled often, but I heard very little spoken on them and gave up.

Today I celebrated shabbot with a body of Jewish believers in Calgary for the first time. I have desired to do this for such a long time so it was a great blessing to share in their joy.

The Father is so good! He made provision that I would be there while the message from the Bema was on the parable of the Ten Virgins. The message was incredible in it's breadth and depth. I have never been taught so thoroughly! What an encouragment and inspiration to not be ashamed of hunger and dissatisfaction as I study His word to me. Not only am I excited to re-explore and wrestle once more with the parables but I am anxious to study the other passages that pertain to preparation and to the wedding feast of the Lamb. And I am zealous more than ever to understand the Hebrew language, mindset and culture that bring context to the scriptures.

*************************************************

All ten virgins in the parable knew the bridegroom but only five were known by Him.

Now is the time of preparation.

Now is the time to walk in purity and faithfulness.

Grant mercy Father that I may see the state of my heart and my life. Forgive me my apathy and indifference and awaken my heart to enflamed pursuit. I come NOW to buy what only you can give.

(Matthew 25:1-13, Revelations 3:15-19)

Honor and Grace

2006-12-17T03:35:00.000-04:00

In the last few years, the value of honor and grace has been ignited deep inside me. I am irresistably drawn to those who's garmets carry it's aroma. Most of all, I long for the day this firey love manifests through me.

Jack Frost wrote an article on his website that I needed to hear again.This is VERY valuable stuff. Hit me big, and reminded me of things that Holy Spirit was working in me when I first got this blog started. Here's pieces of it below:

"Even if your judgment of the other person is accurate, if your words, tones, or body language exposes their faults...............then you have stepped outside of honor and grace. Love covers other people's faults, does not complain about them, and does not seek to expose. He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates…. Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (Proverbs 17:9; 1 Peter 4:8-9). Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29)...........We can be 100% right, but what are we communicating when we talk to other people? Do other people feel value and worth being spoken by us.........Genuine love gives honor. Self-love takes honor and dispenses dishonor. Not to honor can actually become a self-imposed curse and may result in a cloud or shadow of judgment hanging over our home, work place, church, or relationships. Dishonor does not serve well our personal interests and values even if our judgment is accurate. It is like we are trying to punish people when we expose their faults........ Probably my greatest pitfall in walking in honor is that I am often right in my evaluation of other's attitudes, behavior, and weaknesses and the way they have let me down or disappointed me. But is my body language covering or uncovering them? Is my conversation bringing exposure or is it leading to restoration? Is that person's redemption at the root of my words or am I seeking to make myself look innocent by uncovering their faults? We may be right in our evaluation of a person’s faults or weaknesses or how they’ve disappointed us, but love covers and does not expose other's weaknesses or whine about them...........To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:8-9)......Ninety-three percent of all communication is not words but non-verbal attitudes that are communicated through tone and body language. When a name of a person who has disappointed you comes up in conversation, are your tone, body language, and words seasoned by grace? The way I used to handle disappointment was to just keep my mouth shut if I didn't have anything good to say about them. But that communicates something negative. Silence speaks rejection. So now, as soon as their name comes up, I want to be sensitive to think about their strengths. How can I bring a word of edification about them? Honor is a decision I choose to make to give a person a position of great worth and value in my life." - Jack Frost

Holy Spirit, I appreciate you. I love how you lead me into ALL truth. I love how you will not let me be. More Lord. Blow on that ember and burn away all the self-important and self-protective dross.

The kingdom of God

2006-12-09T01:38:00.000-04:00

".....saying "the Kingdom of God is on the earth" is basically like announcing, "The righteousness, peace, joy and power of God is present for you, RIGHT NOW!" People need righteousness to atone for their sin and guilt, they need peace and joy to live and they need the power of God to unseat the rule of the kingdom of darkness in their lives (sin, sickness, disease, insanity, etc.)" - Ryan Lawson: http://www.ngca.org/podcasts.htm

He is King! And he has given his children the keys to his kingdom. "Whatever you ask in my name, it shall be given to you."

Return to rest

2006-11-29T00:37:00.000-04:00

I opted to be a servant.

Oh how I wanted to serve you.

I wanted to do it all. To do it well. I wanted to please you.

Faithfully.... not perfectly, I did. I tried. I failed. I tried again. And again.

But you wanted a lover.

You want a lover.

What excites the Father?

2006-10-14T18:16:00.000-03:00

I ask: " Let your kingdom come, let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven"

You respond : "It is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."

WooHoo ! Oh Pappa!!!!!!! You don't know what this is doing to me!
Watch out world. This pauper is about to realize she is a princess.

And when she does......

You are invited , and you...and you....and yes you too! Compelling, calling, inviting you to my Father's house to share in the abundance that is your's too!

Arise, shine for your light has come!

2006-10-01T23:38:00.000-03:00

The messages below are so powerful I had to post excerts of them:

"God is waiting on you and I to become who we already are. To manifest the fullness of the Godhead that already dwells within us.

Romans 8:19 tells us that all of creation also waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed – to manifest who they already are. Nature itself, the very elements of the earth, are longing to be brought into their divine alignment, even as God set Adam over earth as a shadow of Christ over creation. The authority of the Kingdom of Heaven longs to be released on earth, and the earth is crying out for Heaven. Could it be that the lynchpin – the critical link in the chain – is you and I? Is it possible that the only missing piece of the puzzle is for you and I to believe who we already are? Or moreover, to believe who He is within us?

I am fully convinced that revival is right now for whoever wants it. We can have as much of God as we want. We can operate in any level of holiness, hunger, humility or power that we want. Heaven is fully open and at our disposal. Every veil is torn that separates us from God, and all enmity between us and the Father has been removed through the shed blood of Christ.

There are no excuses for us to be sleeping during harvest time. Proverbs 10:5 says, “He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” There are no excuses for us not to be operating beyond our natural capabilities. No excuses for us not to operate in the supernatural. Lack of faith is not an excuse, for we can always ask for more faith. Apathy and lack of desire is not an excuse, for we can always ask the Father to rekindle the flame of divine intimacy.

It is awakening time. Time for action. To say we are waiting on God for revival is essentially our pitiful way of blaming Him for the iniquity in our communities and the unregenerate hearts in our own spheres of influence. He has put you and I in the midst of these times and places to be salt and light. If salt loses its saltiness, it is worthless. Many are not seeing revival around them, because there is no personal revival within. Every day should be revival time for you and I. He expects us to extend our own staff of delegated authority. Like Moses, God wants us to stop whining for Him to do something, and instead stretch forth our own rod of power to split the Red Seas before us.

God has equipped us with all the tools we need to make revival happen. In fact, He has given us His very Spirit! Do you not say, “Four months more and then the harvest?” I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest (John 4:35).

Now is the time. Joel’s Army will emerge with or without us. Our own individual role in this movement will be determined by us, because many are called. The question we have been asking, “How much longer?” is really insufficient, unless we are asking it of ourselves. This is our chance to run with gospel of the Kingdom like no one before us. Let us make the most of our days here and become earth shakers. " - John Crowder

"We are on the earth, even while we are in Heaven. We dwell simultaneously in two realms. In the meantime, we are bringing our soul into the submission and maturity of who we already are in the spirit. The only reason we have not seen the full outworking of our supernatural arsenal, is because we are still in this process of aligning our soul with Heaven. The Christian life is much less complicated than we make it. It is simply a matter of realization.

What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father (Gal. 4:1-2).

When is the appointed time for the Father to release the fullness of the inheritance to the children? You already have it. You own the whole estate. So when is the set time for you to step into it? As soon as you are ready. He is waiting on you. This is not a timing element, but a maturity issue. And maturity is defined by our level of holy hunger and unconditional openness to the Lord. And these things increase by “tasting and seeing.” Again – it is by realizing His goodness that is already lavished upon us. We love Him more by recognizing that He first loved us." - John Crowder

(To read the full articles and more timely words go here: http://sonsofthunderpublications.blogspot.com/2006/05/when-will-joels-army-emerge-part-i.html )

One thing

2006-09-24T21:51:00.000-03:00

God: on my pursuit of one thing:

One thing I ask, one thing I seek

One thing is needed

One thing you lack

The Seven longings of the human heart

2006-09-21T02:56:00.000-03:00

We are at such a pivitol time in History right now: The Holy Spirit is awakening us to royalty and calling us take our rightful place. And I love how He does it! Oh my Jesus you are indescribable!

Below is an excerpt from an article by Mike Bickle http://www.thunderstruck.org/holysmoke/bickle.htm

The Seven longings of the human heart:

1. The longing for assurance that we are loved. This is where we begin our introduction to the romance of the Gospel. In every heart God has placed a craving to be pursued, delighted in and enjoyed—first by God, then by our families and friends. It is so integral to our identity that we become emotionally crippled when we feel rejection and shame from God or from others.This most fundamental longing to be enjoyed and loved is initially satisfied by the revelation of the finished work of the cross. However, God wants to touch this vital area in an ever deeper and abiding way. He has chosen to do this through the revelation of his emotional capacities as both a Father and a Bridegroom. We will be satisfied only by experiencing a revelation of the affections of God. It is not so difficult to believe that God enjoys and loves mature believers who’ve learned to walk closely with the Holy Spirit. But the fact is, God enjoys and delights in young believers as well, even in the midst of spiritual immaturity (see Luke 15:4-5, 8-10, 20). He wants to marry us—yes, even us! The Word of God declares, "I am my [Beloved’s], and [His] desire is toward me" (Song 7:10). The Lord enjoys us even now, as we are. When our hearts are assured through the revelation of the Spirit that we are deeply loved and enjoyed, something powerful is awakened within us. This is truly the beginning of our experience of the divine romance. Eventually even our emotional chemistry is changed, and our hearts are set afire.

2. The longing for enjoyment. There is a second craving in every human heart— a longing to marvel and to be fascinated, awestruck and filled with endless wonder. The secular entertainment industry has identified this human longing for enjoyment and has exploited it commercially—to their own profit and to our ruin. So many of us search endlessly through worldly entertainment and recreation to fulfill this God-given craving. We really do need to experience a sense of wonderment in the very core of our beings. Without having a sense of awe, we live aimlessly and become spiritually bored. This makes us vulnerable to Satan’s tactics. A spiritually bored church is a weak and vulnerable church. But a satisfied believer is a spiritually strong believer who lives protected from Satan’s schemes. The Lord wants to answer this longing by an unprecedented unveiling of the beauty of Christ. In Isaiah 4:2, God declares that in the last days the Branch of the Lord will be manifested as "beautiful." The Branch of the Lord is none other than Jesus, our Messiah. God will fascinate his people beyond anything they have ever known by the unveiling of the beauty of Jesus in the last days.This is divine entertainment at its highest as God the Father reveals God the Son to us through the Holy Spirit!Throughout church history most believers have not been deeply fascinated by the Lord; they have simply gritted their teeth and tried to avoid evil. But a new anointing is going to be released on the church worldwide.Think about it: We worship one who possesses transcendent beauty! The seraphim gaze on him and cry out, "Holy! Holy! Holy!" as they are stunned by the beauty of God. Within the bridal paradigm the Lord will answer our craving for awe and wonder by revealing to us the beauty of the Bridegroom.

3. The longing to be beautiful. Every one of us longs to possess beauty and to feel beautiful. No wonder: A beautiful God created us in such a way that we long to possess and feel his imparted beauty. Unfortunately, our culture has an obsession with physical appearance and vanity because it seeks to answer this legitimate longing in a wrong way. Most of us pursue carnal beauty because we feel so unsettled and unhappy when we feel ugly. The glorious news is that the beauty of God is not just something he possesses—it is something he imparts through redemption to his bride. In Psalm 90:17, Moses prayed that "the beauty of the Lord" would be released upon the redeemed. Similarly, David prayed that God would "beautify the humble with salvation" (Psalm 149:4). This is a staggering concept. God transfers his spiritual beauty through redemption to formerly demonized, hopeless, sin-ridden people! His beauty is transferable to human beings through Jesus!

4. The longing to be great. In the core of our being, we long to be successful and noble. Our great God created us with the pursuit of greatness programmed deep within our emotional genetics. Sometimes we misunderstand this longing and assume that we must repent of it, but this isn’t true. We cannot repent of the God-given longing to be great—only of pursuing it in a wrong way. We were made for greatness and honor. The Lord meets this longing by granting his bride a position of authority that surpasses even the highest-ranking angels. Jesus declares that his people will one day be exalted to his very right hand, sitting with him on his throne (see Rev. 3:21). In the embrace of our Bridegroom King, we co-rule with Him. Believers are at the very pinnacle of power in the created order. We are a part of the aristocracy of eternity, a part of the ruling class. In Jesus we have married into indescribable wealth and power. As the church takes hold of the truth of who we really are as honored and esteemed heirs of God’s throne, then our lives will portray a divine inner strength and a fierce determination to be wholly his.

5. The longing for intimacy without shame. We long to know and be known before the Lord. God put this longing in us because he wants us to find its deepest satisfaction in experiencing intimacy with him. This spiritual intimacy is available to the redeemed. Jesus wants to entrust to his bride the unique secrets of his transcendent beauty and divine strategies. He has many secrets that he will reveal to his bride, ones that even the principalities and powers do not know (see Eph. 3:10). Because of our value to him we are invited into this mysterious realm of divine knowledge.That intimacy is reciprocal. While we will have knowledge of his secrets, he also has knowledge of our secrets. He understands aspects of our lives that are unknown and misunderstood by others.Jesus feels our pain and struggles. He knows our sin and shame. Yet he treats us with honor as he walks with us through every season of life. He is intimate with us in our victory and prosperity. He rejoices and celebrates with us as He shares our triumphs. He knows our true greatness, and he sees the heights of our nobility in redemption.He is also intimate with us in our heart passions. He knows the depths of our longings, dreams and intentions to love him. Even our failed intentions to love him are seen in his love, To be fully known without shame and to have no fear of being left to experience the mysteries of life alone is exhilarating!

6. The longing to be wholehearted and passionate. In our hearts we long to possess the power to abandon ourselves completely to God. We long to avoid the spiritual boredom, disloyalty and compromise that leave us broken and discontent. We desire the ability to give the deepest affection of our hearts back to the Lord (see Matt. 22:37).We cannot function properly until we have passionately given our hearts to a Person and purpose beyond ourselves. If we don’t have something to die for, then we don’t have anything to live for.The passive heart is vulnerable to every lust of the flesh. In order to be emotionally whole we must reach for wholeheartedness as the Lord graciously imparts it to our weak hearts. He will give us the power to be passionate because He is a passionate God.

7. The longing to make a deep and lasting impact. As human beings we are desperate for a life of meaning, relevance and significance. We long to make a contribution to the lives of those we care about. We experience great enjoyment when we bring pleasure to others.This, too, is a legitimate longing placed in our hearts by a God of meaning and purpose. It is fulfilled by anointed service in his kingdom, resulting in rewards that literally last forever.God designed his people to make a relevant impact in the lives of others. In fact, Jesus wants us yoked together with him in the holy mandate that the Father has given him to disciple the nations (see Matt. 28:19). As we reject our tendency toward self-centered isolationism and walk out the second commandment at our Bridegroom’s side, we will satisfy the longings of our hearts.

For such a time as this...

2006-09-21T01:47:00.000-03:00

Are we in another "Esther" season?

A few years ago God began to reveal new things to me from the book of Esther. At the time I was going through a personal mourning season and I could instantly relate to Esther's 6 month purification with the oil of myrr. It was a time of deep sorrow and surrender. At the same time, ministries and messages around the world were being birthed and impacted by the book of Esther. This past spring and summer the Lord began prepping me for Royalty once again. This time however, there was a lavishness...a beautification process, a growing anticipation. I sensed a new thing called 'favor'. There was nothing I did to earn it...it happened to me. And like the natural signs before, suddenly I find I am surrounded by the book of Esther.

Check out Sarah's story:
http://www.bumpenya.com/

Where will I go when my wings take flight?

2006-09-21T01:11:00.000-03:00

"......God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them. "If you remove the yolk from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday and the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places" It's not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It's not an accident. That's a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. [You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.] 'As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.' (Matthew 25:40)...........A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. In countless ways, large and small, I was always seeking the Lord's blessing. I was saying, you know, I have a new song, look after it… I have a family, please look after them… I have this crazy idea…And this wise man said: stop. He said, stop asking God to bless what you're doing. Get involved in what God is doing—because it's already blessed.Well, God, as I said, is with the poor. That, I believe, is what God is doing. And that is what He's calling us to do. ........"

(snippets of Bono's Remarks to the National Prayer Breakfast)

Potbound

2006-09-17T23:09:00.000-03:00

What happens to a plant when it gets all the sunshine and water it needs but never leaves it's original pot?

I've been realizing that my knowledge of the "things of God" has exceded my intimate experience of it's reality. At one point this was expressed in frustration and longing but lately there's been such a sadness and a numbing like hope deferred has made the heart thus sick. And I've wept, wondering why I have refused to fly.

Like the rich young fool he has beckoned me to come and I have gone away sorrowful....

Jesus, what is it that I am holding back? What have I held onto as my source of security?

Freedom stirrings

2006-09-10T02:47:00.000-03:00

Just thought I'd get the conversation started....

Any thoughts?

Smaller and simpler still...

2006-08-31T22:12:00.000-03:00

My mom and I have been sharing together and have noticed that every time we have tried to deal with an issue of weakness in our lives we have ended up caught in a cycle of striving and stumbling and yet we have also noticed that every time we get enraptured in the presence of God the weakness is made ineffective. In fact, the weakness is made irrelevent. Hmmmmm.......

If sin results when we get our eyes off of Jesus, why do we (the church) tend to place so much emphasis on our responce and our behavior? Are we not doing a disfavor to the precious bride stumbling towards ecstacy? Why are we so oriented to think it all depends on us? Why do we look at ourselves at all?! We should instead gaze into the eyes of redemption and do nothing less than draw the eyes of the broken, and weak amoung us to do the same!

We are all brought into the journey of faith by recognising the work of Christ.......is not the rest of the journey meant to be more of the same? Real and lasting transformation comes from simply meditating on the beauty, goodness and greatness of Jesus. We simply come in our filth and rags to be restored...again and again.....humbly accepting the rainment he clothes us with, confidently delighting in his affection and declaration that we ARE His 'beloved'.

"As you have therefore recieved Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in Him" Colossians 2:6

"God wants us to experience the "superior pleasures" of the Gospel. He knows that we are best equipped to resist the "lesser pleasures" of sin as we experience satisfaction in intimacy with him." - Mike Bickle

.....when we are faithful to keep ourselves in His holy presence and to make Him absolutely central in our lives, this not only hinders us from offending Him or doing anything that displeases Him (at least willfully), it also gives rise to freedom - a divine freedom - and, if you will not misunderstand me, a familiarity with God tht makes possible asking and recieving the graces we need." -Brother Lawrence

"When you are too perfect at controlling yourself you can become harsh, judgmental, and too easily offended by others." -Francois de Salignac de La Mothe-Fenelon

"....focus, rather on “being”. Being loved. Being God’s child. Being redeemed. Being forgiven. Being accepted. Being favored. Being cherished. Being approved......"-Brian Petak

"I consider myself the most wretched of sinners, full of sores and corruption;
I have committed all sorts of crimes against the King.
Touched with a sense of regret, I confess to Him all my wickedness;
I ask His forgiveness;

I abandon myself into His hands so he can do with me as He pleases.
The King, full of mercy and goodness,
very far from chastising me, embrces me with love, makes me eat at His table,
serves me with His own hands, gives me the key to His treasures.
He also talks with me all the time in the most delightful way in a thousand ways,
and treats me in all respects as His favorite." - Brother Lawerence

Will you trust me?

2006-08-17T02:44:00.000-03:00

The world's sin is not foul language and lies.
The world's sin is not drug and alcohol abuse.
The world's sin is not lust and impurity.
The world's sin is not abortion and murder.
The world's sin is not greed and theft.

" The world's sin is unbelief "
(John 16:9, 12:39-40)

How heavy is my heart for the many who daily taste the bitter fruits of a heart that has no vision of the Trustworthy One. Without a vision, they cast off restraint!

Son, daughter...why do you not believe?
Like the first children you hear the lie..."God is holding out on you!"
You do not know me. So you do not trust me.
You think you need to protect yourself.
So you lie. So you kill. So you hide.
You think you need to provide for yourself.
So you take.
I am your Father. I love loving you. I love taking care of you.
I am your Husband. I love loving you. I love taking care of you.
You do not know me. So you do not trust me.
You have been orphaned, abandoned, betrayed, and abused.
Not by me. I have never left you. I have never hurt you.
My thoughts are only good toward you. My plans are to give you a hope and a wonderful future.
But you do not know me, so you do not trust me.

A truely intimate relationship is only established and preserved through the gift of trust. When trust is betrayed or withheld, there is a sudden and increasing block in relational intimacy until trust is restored. It really is a very precious gift.

The scriptures call this gift "faith". It is no wonder that we read " Without faith it is impossible to please God...." When we withhold trust, the Father cannot have the intimacy with us that He so longs for. We cannot recieve His affection. We cannot recieve His affirmation. We cannot recieve His delight. We simply do not believe. Unbelief blinds our eyes and deafens our ears, it hardens our hearts to Him. We hold Him at a distance. With all our sin and all our religion. Never really living. Not living at all really! It is only trust that pleases Him. It is trust that says 'I want to know you. I want to love you. Take this broken, messed up heart in your hands. I am weak and fragile but I have confidence in your tenderness, in your mercy, in your care. I believe you are who you say you are!'

All our failures; our religious striving and shameful deeds, result from our lack of confidence in you Father. We don't want to admit that we are helpless and in need, like a tiny infant.We don't want to believe that you came not for the healthy but for the sick. We don't want to believe that you are our Shepherd. If we did, we would know that a GOOD Father feeds his childre, clothes his children, nurtures his children, protects his children, holds and comforts his children, delights in his children, affirms his children, guides and leads his children. We would be at rest.

Abraham believed and it was accounted to Him as righteousness. (Genesis 22:1-12, Hebrews)

When we discover the incredible, passionate, pursuing love of God we can't help but fall in love with Him, and walk toward Him, who is the Light. We become surrendered, holding nothing back because we know that He holds nothing back from us. We become the bride, one with her bridegroom!

" I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it ALL as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with Him. I no longer count on my own goodness or my ability to obey God's laws but I trust Christ to save me. For God's way of making us right with Himself depends on faith" (Philippians 3:7-9)

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvolous love. And may you have the power to understand as allGod's people should, how wide, how long,how high, and how deep his love really is. MAY YOU EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF CHRIST, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. THEN YOU WILL BE FILLED WITH THE FULLNESS OF LIFE AND POWER THAT COMES FROM GOD.

Ephesians 3:17-19

Oh Beloved Consuming Fire

2006-08-17T02:12:00.000-03:00

Wow! I stumbled on this today....... How cool is that!

"GOD is THE CONSUMING FIRE! He comes to take over! He comes to CONSUME us! and our world! ........ the secrets to the Holy life.: STARE AT HIM!!!! and RECEIVE His love FOR YOU! This is GRACE EMPOWERED Holiness!"

This is exactly what Father has been igniting in my spirit!

Take a Listen to Keith Luker as He teaches on the secrets to a Holy life:

http://www.propheticworshipradio.net/store/DL_ConsumingFire.php

Covenant

2006-08-15T19:00:00.000-03:00

"....You are COMPLETE through your union with Christ..."

(Colossians 2:10)

"When you came to Christ you were circumsised but not by a physical procedure. It was a spiritual procedure - the cutting away of your sinful nature. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptised. And with him you were raised to a new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Jeus Christ from the dead." (Colossians 2:11-12)

Circumsision has suddenly found new meaning. It is so symbolic of vulnerabilty, surrender, humility, need, and trust. This is the blessed part we offer in the covenant. We offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. We offer our all - we come vulnerable, trusting and surrendered. We are forever marked by a spirit of humility.

"For we who worship God in the Spirit are the only ones who are truely circumsized. We put no confidence in human effort. Insead we boast about what Christ Jesus has done for us." (Philippians 3:3)

I’m not looking over and I’m not looking under
I’m looking upward and I’m moving onward
To a place where they cry holy And the greatest man bows lowly
From the wonder of a father crying out

Come now let’s reason together
Come now where blood turns to wool
Come now where fire is the measure
Come now where fools turn to gold

Now I’m moving slower and it takes a little longer
But I’m healing deeper and I’m feeling stronger
It’s tearing down defenses and opening my senses
To the wonder of a lover crying out

© 2004 Jason Upton & Key of David Ministries. All rights reserved

http://www.jasonupton.net/com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=233&Itemid=431

He really loves me!

2006-08-15T04:09:00.000-03:00

This summer the Lord has been speaking new things to me concerning His Holiness. My eyes have been opened to see that holiness is not a thing I am pursuing....but is the personhood of Jesus Christ, the Holy spirit of God Himself; indwelling in all his fullness. All I have ever wanted was Jesus but I have stumbled continuely, distracted by trying to reach him in my own efforts. He has washed away fear after fear, doubt after doubt...fruit of many lies; weeding out unbelief and rooting me in the depths, heights and breadth of His love. His mercy astounds me. Now I see that Holiness has been pursuing me. He will not let go. He will be faithful to complete the work He began in me.

My faithful bridegroom there is none like you!

He must increase, and I must decrease

2006-07-12T10:40:00.000-03:00

Holy - Set apart, consecrated, not for pagan or common use....

Spirit of God you are the Holy Spirit. You carry the fullness of all that is Holy. All that is not set apart in me, all that is not consecrated as yours, all that is largely me , not you...come with your Holy fire and burn away. Two cannot have dominion at the same time.

To be filled with your Spirit is to be nothing but an empty vessel- for your display; that You may be all. Work in me surrender and full possession.

"....He must be all. From Him and through Him and to Him are all things. As God, He is the life of everything. Everything that exists serves as a means for the manifestation of the goodness, wisdom, and power of God in His direct and continous operation. Sin consists in nothing but this, that man determined to be something and would not allow God to be everything. The redemption of Jesus has no other aim than that God should again become everything in our heart and life. In the end even the Son will be subject to the Father that God may be all in all. Nothing less than this is what redemption is to secure. Christ himself has shown in his life what it means to be nothing and allow God to be everything..."1 Cor.15:28
(Andrew Murray- Spiritual Excellence)

Come up here

2006-04-07T14:01:00.000-03:00

Your mercy has done something in me. I never knew...never understood the depths....

How do you describe new vision?

Now go and learn...

2006-01-20T21:21:00.000-04:00

Your words have struck me twice....putting in me this ache. I want to know. Will you teach me? I will gladly lay down every sacrifice, every offering. Everything, if I only can know your heart.

"...Matthew invited Jesus and his diciples to be his dinner guests, along with his fellow tax colectors and many other notorious sinners. The Pharisees were indignant."why does your teacher eat with such scum?"they asked the disciples. When he heard this, Jesus replied, "Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do." Then he added, Now go and learn the meaning of the this Scripture:' I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices.' For I have come to call siners, not those who think they are already good enough." (Matthew 9: 10 -13)

"Jesus was walking through some grainfields on the sabbath. His disciples were hungry, so they began breaking off heads of wheat and eating the grain.Some Pharisees saw them do it and protested, "Your disciples shouldn't be doing that! It's against the law to work by harvesting the grain on the Sabbath." But Jesus said to them, " Haven't you ever read in the scriptures what King David did when he and his companions were hungry? He went into the house of God, and they ate the special bread reserved for priests alone. That was breaking the law too. And haven't youever read in the law of Moses that the priests on duty in the temple may work on the Sabbath? I tell you one is here who is greater than the Temple! But you would not have condemned those who are not guilty if you knew the meaning of this scripture: 'I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices. For I, the Son of Man, am master of the Sabbath."

A passion for His Glory

2006-01-04T22:26:00.000-04:00

"He who has the bride is the groom. But the groom's friend, who stands by and listens for him, rejoices greatly at the groom's voice. So this joy of mine is complete. He must increase, but I must decrease." The One who comes from above is above all. The one who is from the earth is earthly and speaks in earthly terms. The One who comes from heaven is above all." John 3:29-31

"Love is labouring and suffering (if necessary) to enthrall another person with what will make them most infinately and eternally satisfied....There is nobody else who can meet our needs. Nobody else that can satisfy our hearts.Nobody else that can forgive our sins. There is nobody else that can give us meaning.....God's constant exalting of His glory for our enjoyment is the most loving thing He could do, for in Christ alone are we satisfied." - John Piper (paraphrased)

Jesus prayer before his death reveals His heart:

"Jesus spoke these things, looked up to heaven, and said: Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son so that the Son may glorify You,
for You gave Him authority over all flesh; so He may give eternal life to all You have given Him. This is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and the One You have sent--Jesus Christ. I have glorified You on the earth by completing the work You gave Me to do. Now, Father, glorify Me in Your presence with that glory I had with You before the world existed.I have revealed Your name to the men You gave Me from the world. They were Yours, You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word.Now they know that all things You have given to Me are from You, because the words that You gave Me, I have given them. They have received them and have known for certain that I came from You. They have believed that You sent Me.I pray for them. I am not praying for the world but for those You have given Me, because they are Yours.All My things are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I have been glorified in them. I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, protect them by Your name that You have given Me, so that they may be one as We are one.While I was with them, I was protecting them by Your name that You have given Me. I guarded them and not one of them is lost, except the son of destruction, so that the Scripture may be fulfilled.Now I am coming to You, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have My joy completed in them. I have given them Your word. The world hated them because they are not of the world, as I am not of the world.I am not praying that You take them out of the world but that You protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, as I am not of the world.Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth.As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.I sanctify Myself for them, so they also may be sanctified by the truth.I pray not only for these, but also for those who believe in Me through their message.May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me. I have given them the glory You have given Me. May they be one as We are one.I am in them and You are in Me. May they be made completely one, so the world may know You have sent Me and have loved them as You have loved Me.Father, I desire those You have given Me to be with Me where I am. Then they will see My glory, which You have given Me because You loved Me before the world's foundation.
Righteous Father! The world has not known You. However, I have known You, and these have known that You sent Me.I made Your name known to them and will make it known, so the love You have loved Me with may be in them and I may be in them."John 17

Lord let me not become focused and fixiated on lesser things; wood, hay and straw. Draw back my gaze oh Beautiful One.

Asleep in the light

2005-12-30T02:11:00.000-04:00

Like a frog set in a pot of warm water and boiled slowly over time I had not noticed the subtle numbing of my conscience. The freezing over of my passion. The drooping of my eyes. The hardening of my heart. The offense that has caused me to run away rather than to you.But I'm painfully aware that if I am in a battle (which I am) I am quickly losing. I desperately need you Father to breathe on me the breath of life, to speak to these dry bones, calling forth this Lazerous. To break up this fallow ground and root out this bitter root. To clear away these doubts and lies. That I may be tender again....in your presence again

"When the Son of Man comes again, it will be exactly like the days of Noah. In the days before the flood, people were eating, drinking, and getting married until the day that Noah went into the ship. They were not aware of what was happening until the flood came and swept all of them away. That is how it will be when the Son of Man comes again........."Therefore, be alert, because you don't know on what day your Lord will return." Matthew 24:37-39,42

"No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the angels in heaven and the Son don't know. Only the Father knows. Be careful! Watch! You don't know the exact time. It is like a man who went on a trip. As he left home, he put his servants in charge. He assigned work to each one and ordered the guard to be alert. Therefore, be alert, because you don't know when the owner of the house will return. It could be in the evening or at midnight or at dawn or in the morning. Make sure he doesn't come suddenly and find you asleep. I'm telling everyone what I'm telling you: 'Be alert!'" March 13:32-37

" You know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. When people say, "Everything is safe and sound!" destruction will suddenly strike them. It will be as sudden as labor pains come to a pregnant woman. They won't be able to escape. But, brothers and sisters, you don't live in the dark. That day won't take you by surprise as a thief would. You belong to the day and the light not to the night and the dark.
Therefore, we must not fall asleep like other people, but we must stay awake and be sober." 1 Thessalonians 5:2-6

Love covers

2005-12-27T23:17:00.000-04:00

"If I speak the languages of men and of angels, but do not have love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so that I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.
For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known. Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1Corinthians 13:1-13

Love, real love, is an eternal matter. God IS love. It is the very substance of His nature, like his Holiness.I so desire to come to the place where I love because it is my DNA to love, just as it is my DNA to walk in purity.

Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12

"Ham, father of Canaan, saw his father naked. So he went outside and told his two brothers. Shem and Japheth took a blanket and laid it over their shoulders. Then they walked in backwards and covered their father's naked body. They turned their faces away so that they didn't see their father naked." Genesis 9:22-23

"Now the end of all things is near; therefore, be clear-headed and disciplined for prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins." IPeter 4:7-8

It is only in the secret place, on my knees and seeking your glance, locked into your gaze that I will have the grace to LOVE my enemy. Oh my Father bring me to a place where I can walk free from offence. So much so that your love covers the mistakes of others, freeing them to find safety and restoration in your presence.

Aqainted with grief

2005-11-30T22:49:00.000-04:00

There are many who have experienced tremendous pain and loss. My sorrows are trivial in comparison. I have measured their significance by the scale of the multitudes who fare worse. My heart longs to bear the mark of acceptance,to choose humility. Acknowledging that you are God, the potter, the painter - and I am but made of dust, your clay, your canvas. I am recognizing though that pain is still pain and loss is still loss, no matter the depth. And as much as I compare and size it, it won't go away. I still own it, or it owns me. Enslaved to a pain and a loss that I keep claiming is nothing. Trying to deny the pulse beneath.
If I can learn to accept this and walk through this perhaps I will learn not to trivialize anothers grief. If it is true of sorrow, perhaps it will be true of joy. For if I am to find minimul delight in one person's true joy and abundant celebration in another's I have denied the first individual the full pleasure of experiencing your gifts Father.

"weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice"

Mark 14:32-36

Isaiah 53

I believe, Lord help my unbelief.

2005-11-29T22:40:00.000-04:00

"Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water. What I feard has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."

(Job 3:23-26)

I have wept much this week. My heart is heavy and unreleased grief has had it's way. Dreams pinched like a wick, smoke rising and trailing, taunting me to lose hope. Hurt that you would allow me to see your dreams. Afraid that I will be left behind. Feeling unworthy. Feeling forgotten.Papa come quickly before this pain takes root. Rescue me from despair, do not let me close up this heart. I do not know what to ask for. I do not know what I need. But you do, so I'm coming to you healer of my soul. You alone hold my future. I surrender, Lord help me surrender.

"Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress, my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief." (Psalm 31:9)

Identity in the making

2005-11-25T11:16:00.000-04:00

As we get closer and closer to the return of our bridegroom King, our identity is going to be alot less about our temporary attachments and earthly comforts (the things we are known for, our place of residence, our possessons, our abilities, ect. ) and much more about the simplicity of a child and a bride in relationship. And so now He is shaking everything that can be shaken. Removing all that we think defines who we are. Until there is nothing but Jesus. And when the world sees us, they can only identify us as 'those who have been with the Lord'.

Pure Religion

2005-11-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

“To bring social activism and faith together is very complex, lots of things begin this way, but gradually they become exclusively spiritual and say goodbye to the poor, or it’s all social activity and the faith disappears.” (Jean Vanier)

"Pure Christianity lives between two dangers ever present: the danger that it will evaporate into a philosophy - philosophies of the atonement . . . and the danger that it will freeze into a form" (Dr. Scofield).

"So then, my friends, because of God's great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer." Romans 12:1

"What God the Father considers to be pure and genuine religion is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their suffering and to keep oneself from being corrupted by the world." James 1:27

The burning to be Holy Given

2005-11-12T01:57:00.000-04:00

Holy - set apart, consecrated, not for pagan or common use

And I have asked to be FILLEd with your HOLY Spirit!

Indeed there is a seperation.

Luk 18:17 Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."

Mat 19:29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake, will receive a hundred times more and will be given eternal life.

Heb 11:1 To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.
Heb 11:2 It was by their faith that people of ancient times won God's approval.
Heb 11:3 It is by faith that we understand that the universe was created by God's word, so that what can be seen was made out of what cannot be seen.
Heb 11:4 It was faith that made Abel offer to God a better sacrifice than Cain's. Through his faith he won God's approval as a righteous man, because God himself approved of his gifts. By means of his faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.
Heb 11:5 It was faith that kept Enoch from dying. Instead, he was taken up to God, and nobody could find him, because God had taken him up. The scripture says that before Enoch was taken up, he had pleased God.
Heb 11:6 No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him.
Heb 11:7 It was faith that made Noah hear God's warnings about things in the future that he could not see. He obeyed God and built a boat in which he and his family were saved. As a result, the world was condemned, and Noah received from God the righteousness that comes by faith.
Heb 11:8 It was faith that made Abraham obey when God called him to go out to a country which God had promised to give him. He left his own country without knowing where he was going.
Heb 11:9 By faith he lived as a foreigner in the country that God had promised him. He lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who received the same promise from God.
Heb 11:10 For Abraham was waiting for the city which God has designed and built, the city with permanent foundations.
Heb 11:11 It was faith that made Abraham able to become a father, even though he was too old and Sarah herself could not have children. He trusted God to keep his promise.
Heb 11:12 Though Abraham was practically dead, from this one man came as many descendants as there are stars in the sky, as many as the numberless grains of sand on the seashore.
Heb 11:13 It was in faith that all these persons died. They did not receive the things God had promised, but from a long way off they saw them and welcomed them, and admitted openly that they were foreigners and refugees on earth.
Heb 11:14 Those who say such things make it clear that they are looking for a country of their own.
Heb 11:15 They did not keep thinking about the country they had left; if they had, they would have had the chance to return.
Heb 11:16 Instead, it was a better country they longed for, the heavenly country. And so God is not ashamed for them to call him their God, because he has prepared a city for them.

A voice in the wilderness

2005-11-11T00:26:00.000-04:00

"Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb . . . and Joshua . . . for they have wholly followed the LORD." (Num.32:11-12)

Unlike Joshua and Caleb, the other Israelites followed the Lord's calling out from Egypt, but they did not follow Him into the land.

There is a leaving, and then there is a coming. It is the cry of the wilderness prophet: Turn from sin and turn to God!

As in Noah's day

2005-11-10T23:54:00.000-04:00

"When the Son of man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered the ark. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the Flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of man returns."

"We went to the land where you sent us. It truly flows with milk and honey . . . Nevertheless the people who dwell in the land are strong; the cities are fortified and very large . . . We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we" (Num.13:27-28, Num.13:31). "And Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had spied out the land, tore their clothes . . . "If the LORD delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us . . . Only do not rebel against the LORD, nor fear the people of the land . . . the LORD is with us." (Num.14:6, Num.14:8-9)

Lord, the majority will always favor what is tangible and humanly capable. But choosing to trust in and fear man is a form of rebellion against You. I desire perspective that is based upon what You have promised and what You are able to do and Jesus, I have seen a faint glimpse of the milk and honey. I have seen the eternal promised land. By faith I choose to put to death the "nevertheless" in me and I choose to trust in and fear you alone no matter how strange, and unrealistic my steps of trust look to my eyes and the opinions of others!

Leaving broken cisterns

2005-11-06T21:14:00.000-04:00

I am finding increasingly that there is a direct connection between the revelation of the grace of God over my life and the consuming passion Jesus has for me as His bride and the level of faith that is ignited in me to freely abandon myself in trust & obedience to Him. This is changing everything! I see the word of God through a different lens now. I see the corporate bride through the adoring eyes of Jesus and I am beginning to see the wounded, broken and captive sheep that are missing from the fold. There are new aches in my heart and new prayers on my lips and worship that exists in groans and sounds that cannot be explained because I can not always find the words to voice my hunger and delight.

It is my (not so secret) longing to be a resting place for the King of glory, to house and release the fragrace and beauty of my beloved one; to be a carrier of His presence and life giving power to all who are thirsty and in need. I pray that Jesus, in me, will compel others to leave the broken cisterns of earthly pleasures and abandon themselves to the joy of knowing Jesus in the beauty of His holiness through worship, prayer, his word and ministry to the poor and weak, the window and the orphan. This is want I long for. This is what I want to live for.

Selah - consider His love

2005-11-05T22:32:00.000-04:00

No matter what place we find ourselves in Lord, your pursuit of humanity is relentless, extravegant and shocking. You amaze me Jesus with your beauty! From the most depraived, and rebellious of heart to the most self-righteouss sinner there is no distinction in your glance. There is no favortism in your affection, no withholding of your generosity and delight. Your desire is for all. Your heart breaks over even one who does not see or know your intense passion - so much that you will leave the ones who do and seek the glance of the missing one. I hear my lover's voice. He comes running over the mountains, racing across the hills to me......to you, son's of Adam, daughters of Eve. My lover speaks to me. Come then, my love; my darling, come with me. Do you hear how He calls you so sweetly? You are like a dove that hides in the crevice of a rock. Let me see your lovely face and hear your enchanting voice. Oh humanity how you are altogether lovely, created in His image and etched apon His heart forever. Consider how He loves you. Let him love you.

"Give thanks to the LORD, because he is good; his love is eternal!" Repeat these words in praise to the LORD, all you whom he has saved. He has rescued you from your enemies and has brought you back from foreign countries, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in the trackless desert and could not find their way to a city to live in. They were hungry and thirsty and had given up all hope. Then in their trouble they called to the LORD, and he saved them from their distress. He led them by a straight road to a city where they could live. They must thank the LORD for his constant love, for the wonderful things he did for them. He satisfies those who are thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Some were living in gloom and darkness, prisoners suffering in chains, because they had rebelled against the commands of Almighty God and had rejected his instructions. They were worn out from hard work; they would fall down, and no one would help. Then in their trouble they called to the LORD, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of their gloom and darkness and broke their chains in pieces. They must thank the LORD for his constant love, for the wonderful things he did for them. He breaks down doors of bronze and smashes iron bars. Some were fools, suffering because of their sins and because of their evil; they couldn't stand the sight of food and were close to death. Then in their trouble they called to the LORD, and he saved them from their distress. He healed them with his command and saved them from the grave. They must thank the LORD for his constant love, for the wonderful things he did for them. They must thank him with sacrifices, and with songs of joy must tell all that he has done. Some sailed over the ocean in ships, earning their living on the seas. They saw what the LORD can do, his wonderful acts on the seas. He commanded, and a mighty wind began to blow and stirred up the waves. The ships were lifted high in the air and plunged down into the depths. In such danger the sailors lost their courage; they stumbled and staggered like drunks--- all their skill was useless.
Then in their trouble they called to the LORD, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the raging storm, and the waves became quiet. They were glad because of the calm, and he brought them safe to the port they wanted. They must thank the LORD for his constant love, for the wonderful things he did for them. They must proclaim his greatness in the assembly of the people and praise him before the council of the leaders. The LORD made rivers dry up completely and stopped springs from flowing. He made rich soil become a salty wasteland because of the wickedness of those who lived there. He changed deserts into pools of water and dry land into flowing springs. He let hungry people settle there, and they built a city to live in. They sowed the fields and planted grapevines and reaped an abundant harvest. He blessed his people, and they had many children; he kept their herds of cattle from decreasing. Then God's people were defeated and humiliated by cruel oppression and suffering, he showed contempt for their oppressors and made them wander in trackless deserts. But he rescued the needy from their misery and made their families increase like flocks. The righteous see this and are glad, but all the wicked are put to silence. May those who are wise think about these things; may they consider the LORD's constant love. Psalm 107:1 -43

Light belongs in the darkness

2005-11-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

"..... even darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to you."

Psalm 139:11-12

"Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world"

There is no place I can not go that He will not also come, that He is not also present. I am beginning to recognise His life in me, His presence in me and His favor over me and I am beginning to see that rather than hide from the darkness, it is my inheritence to invade the darkness with the light of Jesus. Rather than shrink from the presence of evil, I have the pleasure of being commissioned to carry with me the presence of the Holy One.

"Light shines in the darkness for good people, for those who are merciful, kind, and just. "

Psalm 112:4

It's not easy learning to love the wounded, bitter and needy one. It's downright painful. The glamour of the mission leaves. The reality becomes more clear, and the clarity is messy. Interesting that Jesus should consider the outcasts his priority. Interesting that he should spend his time loving them often, loving them deeply. Calling me to do the same.

"Jesus says to his disciples, and he says it with love: Come, and follow me. And so we start to follow him. But where does he lead us? To a comfortable place? To great security? No. He leads the disciples where? To the people who are sick with leprosy. He brings them close to the woman of Samaria. He brings them places where they will meet with the woman taken in adultery. He'll bring them continually to where there is brokenness. Jesus isn't bringing people into a world of dream. Jesus is not helping people to fly away into theories. Jesus doesn't want theories. He doesn't want dream. He wants the truth. He wants reality. So as we follow Jesus, he will bring us into a world of pain. But then we'll begin to see how he doesn't reject pain, but there's going to be the whole mystery of the transformation of pain, that he'll bring light and love into the pain and it will be transformed. And then as we continue to follow Jesus with the disciples, what we will discover is that Jesus is not just the powerful messiah, but he's somebody vulnerable. . . . "(Jean Vanier)

"There is nothing, there is no-one that the blood of Christ cannot redeem!"

(Stacey Campbell)

Come away my beloved ones

2005-11-04T01:04:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, my daughter (7 at the time) had a dream in which the Lord Jesus himself came into our then church riding on a white horse and He gathered the children who also got on white horses. She related to me that they then left the church building and went to the streets of the earth. Whenever and wherever the horses stopped, the children would get off and preach the gospel.

Years ago God gave Heidi Baker a vision of the chariots of God circling the globe. The hearts of the riders were transparent, pulsating with the heart of God, and the only one holding the reigns of the horses was the Father. She also shared that what God was doing in Africa would come full circle and be released here in Canada. Interestingly, one of marks of the Holy Spirit's work in Africa is that children are preaching, and ministering with signs and wonders following on the streets there.

Are we listening? Are we teaching our children how to listen and making room for the Holy Spirit?

It comes to mind that Jesus *rode* under the mantle of humility, in signs, wonders, and Kingdom reality (Isaiah 61) just prior to the time of *His* dark hour.

Even now I am struck that it is time our prayers increase for our children. Even now I am convinced more than ever in their position alongside us. I pray that we, his beloved ones, will together be firmly secured and rooted in the Father's love. I pray that we will be abandoned to His presence and His preeminance, walking side by side as generations, willing to lay EVERYTHING down so that He has complete possession and authority.I pray that we will be willing to trust, follow and GO where and when He leads. I pray that we will take up our cross and be willing to bear the cost together of the fellowship of His sufferings.

The cost of decision

2005-10-28T21:18:00.000-03:00

"God designed man to be a daily recipient of revelation knowledge. In the Garden of Eden, man walked and talked with God. Adam and Eve were receiving revelation knowledge daily from Almighty God. Jesus also demonstrated this life-style of doing nothing out of His own initiative, but only what He heard and saw the Father doing (Jn. 5:19,20,30).Satan’s Temptation - That man descend to reasoned knowledge.Satan entered God’s perfect plan with a temptation: Man could become like God, and man could know right from wrong. Man would no longer need to receive revelation from God, but he could turn to his own mind and he himself could know – separate and apart from God (Gen. 3:5)." (Mark Virkler -Revelation Knowledge Versus Reasoned Knowledge and the Implications for Bible Colleges)

"To put human ability in the place of divine grace is to exalt the carnal above the spiritual. The effect will be manifested in many different areas.

For example:
Theology will be exalted above revelation;
Intellectual education above character building;
Psychology above discernment;
Program above the leading of the Holy Spirit;
Eloquence above supernatural power;
Reasoning above the walk of faith;
Laws above love.

All of these errors are different manifestations of one great basic error; putting man in a place God has reserved solely for the Lord Jesus Christ." (Page 90,91 of Blessings Or Curse by Derek Prince)

Lord I recognise that I am at a crossroads right now. Holy Spirit, in me there is NO good thing, and I need you deeply. You stirred and invited me to pursue One Thing four years ago. By Your grace alone the wooing continues. But as You continually beckon me, new or perhaps just deeply rooted temptations, grow stronger also whispering to me. I saw religion's 'fruit' and it was pleasing to my eye. I could make sense of it all. I could reason. But your voice told me something different...the vision you gave me I could not grasp. I am so enticed to taste the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. I struggled with hearing and believing your voice....and now, with wanting your voice. The very wrestle of the garden is waging it's war in me. And here I stand at the place of decision. Will I choose to heed YOUR quiet whisper and throw off reason's seduction? God I am so weak. I am so prideful. I am so stubborn and stuck! I cannot do it. I do not want to grieve your Spirit but I fear I am pushing you away. Must I deny you three times? Can you, will you do in me what I cannot do? In these coming days I ask for a baptism in your Holy Spirit, I want to walk in the light as you are in the light.

"For those who desire to know God's POWER, there is a bit of a price to pay. It has never been popular to deviate from the common path. For those who desire God's PRESENCE, there is an even greater cost involved. They will surely be misunderstood and reviled. But the greatest price is reserved for those who want to know God's PERSON. Being more closely identified with Him has always had its price tag in this world."-Charles A. Haun

Embracing my humanity

2005-10-27T22:55:00.000-03:00

I am of another kingdom. Truth be known, I am supernatural - a brand new creation, a child born of the Spirit not of flesh. A sojourner on this earth. This is not my home. And my home is so different from this one. In my home there is no tears, no pain, no sickness, no suffering, no fear, no death. No one could convince me otherwise.I am not delusional.

And yet, something is always reminding me otherwise. I get wounded, I cry, I hurt, I bleed. I find myself falling again, stumbling, ashamed. I fight sickness. I shrink in fear. I'm growing older but not always wiser.I try to be strong because I know the truth. I speak it, declare it -renewing my mind, gaurding myself from the enemy's deception of the temporary as reality. And I hate myself for forgetting whose I am.

And then He comes and loves me as I am. Human. I've seen and felt enough of 'human' for it to prey on me like a vulgar word. I've had enough of a taste of glory to ache for eternity.

I fight it. Shrink from it. I want so badly to stand in the truth.But ironically my Father, the King of the kingdom from home invites me to embrace this humanity....this place of brokeness and weakness where He first found me.

And then He reminds me that He too left His kingdom, His glory and strength and embraced humanity in all it's fullness. He too endured rejection, hunger, lonliness, abandonment, abuse. He did NOTHING of his own accord. He too was vulnerable, dependent, in need. He voluntarily made himself nothing, a servant of mankind. He bore the weight of the guilt and torment of sin and the judgement on sinful humanity. He completely identified Himself with humanity. Human was not an ugly word to Him. He sees something beautiful in Humanity. He creates her, adorns her, crowns her, pursues her, comes to be near to her, bring hope to her, express his affection for her, protect her, lay down his life for her....like a lover He is forever after her.

To embrace MY humanity is to embrace and itentify myself with humanity, standing with Jesus in the fellowship of His sufferings. To walk in fellowship with the suffering of my brother's and sisters. To remember my own bondage and know my own weakness and see the world through rescued eyes. With compassion not judgement. Holding Daddy's hand and grabbing another along the way - walking together, leaning on one-another, remembering that the Kingdom of God is still within me.

From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul.

O foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotries known.

Falls a tear to darken the dirt.Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt. She is strong enough to stand in your love. I can hear her say....

I'm weak, I'm poor, I'm broken Lord but I'm yours. Hold me now.

Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will.

To say that my bride isn't worth half the blood that I've spilled.

Point your finger and laugh if you choose.

To say my beloved is borrowed and used.

She is strong enough to stand in your love.I can hear her say....

I'm weak, I'm poor, I'm broken Lord, but I'm yours.

(Jennifer Knapp)

Glimpse of Extravegance

2005-10-27T10:27:00.000-03:00

I'm observing one man's journey to trust and rest and I am humbled: http://worshipmadly.blogspot.com/ I find myself asking You if *I* trust you that much but my heart knows the answer. Oh God...open my eyes to see just how much you are pursuing me and my loved ones. Give me a glimpse of your jealous affections. All I want is You. Please let me see how much you want me too. And if it's all a mascerade because I'm so numb, I invite you to bring a deeper famine.I want the cry in my spirit to become louder. Blind me with your glory that I might truely see. Let me feel the depth of sorrow and longing the bridegroom has for His missing bride. And if I'm ever in the way...get me out of the way.

Just listening & observing

2005-10-22T01:47:00.000-03:00

"LORD, I have given up my pride and turned away from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters or with subjects too difficult for me. Instead, I am content and at peace. As a child lies quietly in its mother's arms, so my heart is quiet within me. Israel, trust in the LORD now and forever!" Psalm 131:1-3

Things are quiet in my heart. That's new. I am fully aware that God is working in me. I am blown away that He has placed some simple things in front of me..and that's it, that's all. So now that I've decided to stop checking my own heart, picking at it for more and trusting the Holy Spirit. I'm enjoying life more...enjoying God, enjoying me, enjoying my family and my friends......

That is just it...love enjoys, it doesn't just tolerate. And here I am entering into a peek of your pleasure over me and all of creation. Mmmmmm.....feels good Pappa.

Wild and free

2005-10-09T23:26:00.000-03:00

A precious sister from the Kod community has given me permission to share this. I found it greatly encouraging.

"One evening as I was worshipping the lord was singing a song over me and he kept saying "wild and free, wild and free, wild and free." It was really beautiful and I could just see myself in an open field under a dark stormy sky, with the wind blowing on my face. I was in a white dress and I was twirling round and round and round and round. I was soo free!! Later I asked the lord what he meant by wild...Why would God want me to be wild.. And the Lord said--I don't want domesticated christians!! Wow!! That blew my mind as I thought about everything that we as humans domesticate. And the lord brought a bird to my mind. Before humans domesticate birds, birds are free to fly in the skys, they are free to sing their own tune, they are free to eat fresh food everyday, they are just so free. Then when they are domesticated they are put in cages, to sit on a stick, to eat the same food for a week-the same water, to sing what they hear. The Lord showed me that christians have become caged up--put in cages of tradition of men, doctrine or men, fear of men, depression--the lord showed me that there were many cages that kept people from freedom.......and it's as if we sit on the same stick all day--not free to explore what the Lord has for us--and always eating the same food---until we become dull---dull just sitting on a stick. And then the lord showed me how birds just sing what they hear and the lord showed me how people just mimic what they hear in church and never sing new songs to him--he showed me the danger of familiarity. SOOO,,,,,, Don't be a domesticated christian--Be a WILD CHRISTIAN....Be free to fly, to sing, to twirl, to spin, to dance, to be held in his arms...just know his freedom and break loose of those cages--the lord is opening the doors of the cages!!!BE WILD!!!"

Trusting the light of life

2005-10-05T12:26:00.000-03:00

I'm just thinking out loud.....

I know that the desert places are a time of growth and wooing and consecration. But I am realizing too that in this place I have been struggling with his voice, with the call to come up and come in to the heart and ways of the Lord. The way of trust and rest.It's dark and painful.

It is completely silly but it is like I am trying to get through a dark tunnel on my own. I could simply depend solely on one candle which another holds but I think that it would be far more superior for me to get through it by sheer determination and intuitivness. What stubborness, pride and craziness!

Jesus said: "I am the light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life."

There is a sure way out of the darkness. My struggle and resistance are what keep me in the dark. So if I hear his voice and trust his voice, leaning and resting on him as my only source I will no longer be lost.

In his mercy, he uses this place to strip and mold me. He loves me unconditionally in this place until there is finally a YES cry! But Oh that I would always have that yes cry first and trust Him as my light, my only hope, my life.

"As long as we think WE can, or even if we think God will enable us to do it, we are still striving. We must cease to do, and allow Him to do.....We know that Christ was tempted in all areas like as we are, yet without sin. He is over all things, and there"s not a single temptation, situation, problem, or circumstance that He has not already mastered. We do not worry that Christ may stumble, or sin, or be taken advantage of by the enemy. Why? We trust in His Life; we know the Man; we believe He is sufficient, nay, more than sufficient, to answer any and every test, trial, and temptation. Since He lives in me, and I am a vessel which contains His Life, why can I not trust in His Life working through me as much as I would trust Christ on earth? Is it not the same Spirit? Decidedly so!
"Trust in My Life," that Spirit urges. Cease striving, trust Me, watch what happens." (Chip Brogden excerpt from "Trust in my Life")

Transition

2005-09-17T21:39:00.000-03:00

For generations, the church has been like the children of Israel:

born in bondage or wandering in the desert.

David Damien

I cannot put my finger on what is happening. In me. Outside of me. The world is shifting. My heart and my mind are swirling. Creation's groans are getting louder. Like birth pangs that get closer and shorter....all one can do is seek focus until the next wave. And the overall emotion I'm feeling is frustration. Is this transition?

An unknown brother named Chris sums it up: " Perhaps the simplistic answer to all this is that we are in the now and not yet. We, the church in the West, are caught between what has been, and what will be. How Frustrating!!! "

The Intrusiveness of Christ

2005-09-07T23:30:00.000-03:00

I don't know who wrote it but today's devotional on my e-sword was very timely and powerful. I needed to place it somewhere that hope may have it's way. Come in all your glory Lord!

A Time of Conflicting Emotions:
When the doors were shut…for fear of the Jews, came Jesus— John 20:19

This was a very memorable Sunday evening, one of the most memorable that history has known. The grave was empty; Christ Jesus had arisen, and slowly the glad truth was reaching the disciples. First had come the tidings of Mary Magdalene, then the thrilling experience of Peter, and now the two travelers to Emmaus had come in and had just finished telling what had befallen them. Can we not imagine what a conflict of emotions surged and throbbed in the disciples' hearts? Some believed instantly; some could not crush their doubt; some passed in swift alternation through glory and despair. And it was then when the doors were shut for fear of the Jews, that Jesus came and stood in the midst of them. How exquisitely fitting was His first word, "Peace!" Peace was the very thing which they lacked that evening. We may always trust Christ, in His unerring tact, to say the right word at the right moment. But the words I ask you especially to consider are these: "when the doors were shut for fear of the Jews." They suggest to me two lines of thought which I shall ask you to follow for a little. The first is, we may close the doors on Christ unwittingly. The second is, though we close the doors on Christ, we do not shut Him out. May God grant us His guidance as we proceed.

We May Close the Doors on Christ Unwittingly:
First, then, we may close the doors on Christ unwittingly; that, you see, is what the disciples did. When they shut and locked the doors of the upper chamber, they never meant to bar them against Jesus. They were afraid of the Jews, the Gospel frankly tells us—and there are few books so frank as the Bible is. They had not been born yet into the heroism of Pentecost; they had not been baptized with the Spirit of fearlessness. Had they heard the trampling of Jewish feet upon the stairs and the beating of Jewish staves upon the door, I daresay they would have thought that all was lost. So they made fast the door for fear of the Jews. That was their only object when they barred it. Yet you and I, reading the story together, detect that they were doing more than they imagined, for unwittingly they closed the door on Christ. Now there is a lesson in that thought on which you and I do well to ponder. It is that we may close the door on all that is best and worthiest, and yet we can honestly say we never meant to do it. I do not think there are many who have deliberately resolved to shut out Christ. This is an age of such uncertainty that most men are too uncertain even to be skeptics. But there are doors we may close, never thinking of Christ Jesus; there are lines of conduct in common life we may pursue, and we never dream that we are raising barriers between ourselves and the highest and the best. But in the end of the day for us, as for the disciples, it will be found that we have done more than we imagined—we have closed the door unwittingly on Christ..........I beseech you, see that you are not living and acting as the disciples did upon that Lord's day evening when for fear of the Jews they shut the door, and unwittingly closed it on their Lord.

Friendships and Choices May Shut the Door on Christ:
There are many ways in which men commit this error. Think for example of the formation of friendships. Many a young man is ruined by his enemies, but more young men are ruined by their friends. It is amazing how easily some people form their friendships, how they make them on the line of least resistance, how they fail to realize what is implied in that mystical and mighty name of friend. So friendships are lightly and improvidently made, and slowly and secretly character degenerates; until at last that friendship (unworthy of the name), begun in the comradeship of some light-hearted hour, closes the door on a hundred noble things, and among them on the beauty of Christ Jesus. Or think again of the choices that we make—and we exercise our noblest prerogative in choosing. Every morning that we rise and every day that we go forth, our choices make us or our choices mar us. Someday a choice more momentous than usual comes. We are face to face with one of life's great decisions. And we have not been living on high levels, and so we choose amiss, for a man's whole life is in every choice he makes. Then the days pass, and the issues show themselves, and the choice works itself out in life and character, and a hundred glorious things are tarnished and are tainted as the result of one disastrous choice. We never meant to shut out power and purity, but they have receded into the dim distance ever since. We never thought to grow heart-weary and world-weary, but that may follow from one mismanaged choosing. Like the disciples beset by some poor fear, unwittingly we have closed the door on Christ.

Levity Can Close the Door on Christ:
But perhaps the commonest of all causes of this great error lies in the spirit that will not take things seriously. I would never ask a young man or woman to be solemn, but I would always urge a young man or woman to be serious. We read the parable of the marriage feast, and we note how the invited guests made light of it. Do you think these guests had been serious and earnest men up to the hour when they received that invitation? God does not tamper with character like that. No man begins to be frivolous by mocking kings. When they were children they had made light of home and had thought little of a mother's love; when they were youths they had made light of purity, for they thought that to be immoral was a manly thing. Now comes the invitation of the king, the crowning and decisive moment of their lives, and in that moment all their past is concentrated, and Scripture tells us they made light of that. One thing is certain, they never meant to do it. They never thought that it would come to this. Thoughtlessly they closed the door on reverent feeling, on devoutness and on chivalry and on purity. But the curse of such levity is that it involves far more than we shall ever know till the years have unrolled their story. In tampering with the least we touch the greatest. We begin by closing the door on little decencies, and unwittingly we close the door on Christ.

Though We Close the Doors on Christ, We Do Not Shut Him Out:
But now I pass on (and I do so very gladly) to the second and evangelical message of our text. That message is, though we close the doors on Christ yet we do not shut Him out. That night in Jerusalem the disciples found it so. Suddenly, though every lock was turned, Christ was among them. They had closed the door on Him not knowing what they did, yet for all that they did not shut Him out. In studying the life of Christ on earth I have often been struck with that note of the inevitable. Men tried to escape Him—adjured Him to depart—yet though all the doors were shut, Jesus confronted them. I think of the Gadarene demoniac in the tombs. He was an object of terror so that all men fled from him. He had shut out his nearest and dearest by his wildness, but for all his wildness he could not shut out the Lord. "What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God—art thou come hither to torment us before our time?" He could escape from his chains; he could not escape from Jesus. Lo! he is sitting clothed and in his right mind.

For the Jews, Christ Was Unavoidable:
Or I think of Christ in relation to Jewish history, and I feel once again that He was unavoidable. For the whole struggle of scribes and Pharisees and priests was to close the door on Christ and keep Him out. They refused to acknowledge Him and they would make no place for Him; He was a gluttonous man and a wine-bibber; not this man -but Barabbas! Everything that malevolence could do was done; everything that spite could suggest was swiftly practiced to discredit the name and sully the reputation of this prophet who mourned with tears over Jerusalem. Did it succeed? Was the door really shut? Was Christ barred out from the destinies of Judaism? Ah, sirs, every page of Jewish story reveals the futility of that endeavor. The most potent influence in Judaism is Christ Jesus. He has determined its fortunes and its fall. He is inextricably blended with its blood and anguish. He is the daystar of its only hope. They closed the door on Him—beat Him off—said He is done with now: but for all that they could not shut Him out.

You May Shut the Door, but Christ Can Still Reach You:
If that was true in history I want you to believe that it is true now. For weal or woe, whatever walls you raise, Christ passes through them all and gets to you. There are deeds that we did long since, perhaps twenty years ago, but to this hour unexpectedly they rise and meet us. There were moments of exquisite happiness in our past, and even today their memory is like music. You cannot shut out the thought of intense hours; no change of years will prevent them winning through. And like the ineffaceable memory of such scenes is the presence and the beauty of the Lord. Christ is inevitable. Christ is unavoidable. I want that thought to sink into your hearts. Close every door against Him if you will; the mystery is that you do not shut Him out.

To Avoid Christ Is an Impossibility:
Sometimes He comes through the closed door just because all life is penetrated with Him. We talk of the Christian atmosphere we breathe, but the atmosphere is more than Christian, it is Christ. This is the Lord's day—who then is this Lord? We may have closed the door on Him, but He is here. We cannot date one letter in the morning but we mean that so many years ago Christ was born. He meets us at every turn of the road, in every newspaper, and in every problem. Our life is so interpenetrated with Christ Jesus that to avoid Him is an impossibility.

We Meet Christ through a Genuine Christian:
Sometimes He meets us in a noble character, in a man who is a living argument for religion. And though we have resolved to have nothing to do with Christ, yet we feel in a moment that Christ is by our side. Creeds may mean nothing to us; we may have left off church-going; the dust may have gathered thick upon our Bibles; but accidentally we meet some man or some woman, having the hallmark of the genuine Christ, and through the shut door we know that Christ is here.

We Meet Christ in Our Moments of Sorrow:
And sometimes it is in our deeper hours that He so comes. It is in the darker and more tragic moments of our life. It is when the sun has ceased to shine, and the birds have ceased to sing; when we are baffled and broken and disappointed. We closed the door on Him when we were strong and vigorous, for we did not want the intrusion of the Cross; but when life's deeps are uncovered then it is God we need, and through the shut doors Christ is in the midst.

Christ Can Break Your Hopelessness:
In closing let me say this single word: am I speaking to any whose sin has made them hopeless? It may be there is someone who seems to have closed every door upon Christ Jesus. Have you been living for years in secret sin? Or has one great sin besmirched and blackened everything? The result of it all is that you seem utterly callous, incapable of faith, cold as a stone. My brother or sister, things are not utterly hopeless. Even now you may have the benediction. Through every barrier—in the teeth of every obstacle—that presence which is life and power may be yours. Christ is a spirit—nothing can hold Him back.

There is no road-maker in all the world like love. Cry out, "Thou Son of God, come to my heart!" and though all the doors have been shut, He will be there.

The days are short

2005-09-05T23:47:00.000-03:00

"Because of the present crisis I believe it is good for people to remain as they are. Do you have a wife? Don't seek a divorce. Are you divorced from your wife? Don't look for another one. But if you do get married, you have not sinned. If a virgin gets married, she has not sinned. However, these people will have trouble, and I would like to spare them from that. This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time has been shortened. While it lasts, those who are married should live as though they were not. Those who have eyes filled with tears should live as though they have no sorrow. Those who are happy should live as though there was nothing to be happy about. Those who buy something should live as though they didn't own it. Those who use the things in this world should do so but not depend on them. It is clear that this world in its present form is passing away. " I Corinthians 7:26-31

We are nearing no less a crisis (though different) than Paul's day, here in the Western culture. And so I pondered what Paul could mean. And then I saw that it was plain and clear.I believe the issue is one of TIME. There is so much "stuff" in daily living. Especially the stuff that is so important to us. And yet the Lord is calling us....with trumpet sound, to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

Awaken me. Prepare me. Cause me to be watchful and attentive to Your need Lord and not so focused on me. Time has been a familiar call but I've let it slip away to attend to the many things. Will I lay down my time...Will I give you what is really yours. Do I believe that you hold this world in your hands, that time is really YOURS? Will I throw off the encumberence of false timetables that mean nothing in light of eternity?

Blessing

2005-09-02T22:38:00.000-03:00

Just wanted to thank you Jesus for my precious family.

Thank you for giving my honey to me. Increase your favor over his life. Pour your love on him lavishly. How extravagently you are FOR him. I love you sweetie!

Thankyou for blessing me and believing in me...knowing that you would give me all that I needed to nurture them in their destinies as son's of the King. I declare that you are warriors. Open Heaven over them Lord! May they know you more and more and have a heart after you. Keep exploring boys....Seek and you will find!

Thankyou for blessing me with such an amazing daughter. What a treasure you have here Lord.

Increase your vision in her life and open her eyes to see how precious she is to You! I speak forth wonder and joy on you my love. You are beautiful. :)

These blessings of mine, these gifts that are Potters tools in your gentle hands. To know my heart, to know Yours. To fall in surrender again. You do all things well my Lord.

I know you walk on the water

I know you ride on the wind

I know you clothe yourself with light

So why do I find it so hard to comprehend

Directions to the other side

A cloud by day a fire by night

I’ll keep moving on

It may seem strange but I know it’s right

I’ll keep moving on

I’ve got my friends here to help me

I’ve got my wife here to hold me

I’ve got my children by my side

Although they do make me happy

I know they’re to make me holy

Each day they raise the cup of Christ

Process

2005-08-31T19:06:00.000-03:00

Ahh, the wilderness. Life's cocoon.
Favor's mantle. A son's reward.
A lover's passion,
for me.

Season of lonliness.
Hidden transformation.
Where destiny is nurtured,
then birthed.

Dark night.
In the midst of death and resurrection.
Slow, painful emergence
between what is by faith and what is;
your promise.

And you, not worried, not hurried.
I wrestle and weep.
You love and listen.
Faithful. Watchful.
I choose trust.

Your life, your blood
coursing through my being
Strengthening this frail frame.
Forming me in your image
Overcoming, becoming.

Withdrawal

2005-08-31T07:02:00.000-03:00

In this desert season when the Lord seems so silent and I feel alone and cower in fear....here's a timely word from a brother in the KOD community who goes by the name Areios:

"And immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side to Bethsaida, while He Himself was sending the multitude away. And after bidding them farewell, He departed to the mountain to pray. And when it was evening, the boat was in the midst of the sea, and He alone was on the land. And seeing them harassed at rowing, for the wind was against them, at about the fourth watch of the night He came to them. But when they saw Him walking on the sea, they supposed that it was a ghost, and cried out; for they all saw Him and were frightened. But immediately He spoke with them and said to them, "Take courage; it is I, do not be afraid." And He got into the boat with them, and the wind stopped; and they were greatly astonished, for they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves, but their heart was hardened."-Mark 6: 45-52

The disciples have just witnessed the heart of Heaven. The love and passion of the Father, the immeasurable maginitude of His Kingdom has been manifested, as Jesus feeds a crowd of five thousand with five loaves and two small fish. And now everyone is convinced that Jesus has come to be King over Israel again, and as human beings often do, in our own understanding, in what we THINK God is trying to do, we miss the point all together. But Jesus is OK with that. So He sends the disciples off, because there is more to accomplish, more revelation of the Father to reveal, and as He often does, He withdraws by Himself, after He sends the disciples across the lake. The disciples now are heading across the lake, but the wind blows against them, and as they struggle and try to fight the wind, Jesus sees them from the mountainside, and comes out after them... walking on the water.

Recently, I've felt like God has withdrawn from me... Like He's distanced Himself, and I find myself like the disciples. My numb dumb heart has been hardened. I've been so quickly to forget what He's said, and what He's done. I don't think it's un-natural for us to respond the way we do, when God withdraws... In fact, God spoke to me about when He withdraws... "Son, you're getting so busy... when I withdraw, it's because I want you to withdraw with Me.... It's an invitation, it's not a rejection."And so that's what this is all about... The first time Jesus is led out into the wilderness, it's because the Spirit leads Him out there... I don't think much changed over the course of His life... But why is it that when He withdraws, we miss the invitation and think He's rejected us... and we find ourselves striving and trying again? Working to earn His affection... I know the theme of identity has been preached to death by the millions of pastors and preachers out in the world today.... Surely when it feels like God withdraws, when it feels like life is falling down all around us, that it's just the cup the Father has set before us now. That in this season we need to withdraw to the lonely places with Him? You know, as I listened to Jason share the story of the tornado in Tulsa, the Lord spoke to me and said, "if you only knew how much My favor rests on you... If you only knew how much authority you have... if only you knew how much I love you." I have this theory, that when Jesus was talking about faith that moves mountains, He wasn't talking about the "prophetic mountains that hinder us from our destiny..." I dont think His audience would have deduced that from His message. I think Jesus sent the disciples out ahead of Him, so that they could withdraw. He knew they would be alright. In fact He was so confident in this because He intended to walk right past them as they were rowing on the lake... It wasn't confidence in the disciples... He was confident in the favor He had on them...You see, what happens is when God withdraws, and He invites us to withdraw with Him, He knows we can handle life. Not because of ourselves, but because we are His son, His daughter, and His favor rests on you and I. If we only knew the favor God had on our lives, and the authority He's endowed us with. I believe that God doesn't want us to be independant of Him, but He wants us to be His companions, so He entrusts us, and gives us favor, and authority, and He has confidence in us as Sons and daughters. You see, Jesus walks right past the disciples while they struggle against the wind. I think He was going to wait for them on the other side. But when they see Him coming, and they cry out in fear, He stops and gets into the boat with them, and then the storm stops, and the wind is calm, and the water is calm. See I don't think that Jesus wants us to be independant, but He wants us to have a revelation of the love and favor of the Father on our lives... The confidence of the Father on us to overcome, and to be a church that overcomes, even when we don't overcome. Father, may I have such confidence in Your favor upon my life! See the disciples were left in awe because Jesus calmed the storm. But they still didn't get it... They forgot the favor of the Father, the love of God that we cannot be separated from, the provision of God to feed five thousand plus hungry people... the compassion of Jesus that will never let us be tempted beyond what we're able, but has to help us to find the "able" in ourselves. So when God withdraws, and the winds beat and blow, it's the Father's invitation. When water floods your boat, and the winds beat against you, pushing you the opposite direction, don't forget the favor of the Father. Who said, "because you have favor with Me, because you have relationship with Me, and I can trust you, speak to the storm, and watch it dissipate. Tell the mountain to move, and watch it get up and move, tell that cancer to die, and watch it shrivel and die, dont forget, it's the favor of the Father on His sons and on His daughters. "

Indeed there is power in our words....
It is time to sing over the barren places and speak to the wind, the waves and the mountains.
Father let the favor that rests on me pour forth from me.