Tired and overwhelmed at present. Brain and body overload.
I have decided to get out my eisel and canvas and soak,soak,soak until I am rested up, refreshed and my heart feels alive again.

xox

lots of love to all my online friends!

Incorruptible, supernatural seed

In you. In me.
Living, breathing. Alive.
Rooted and established.
Anchored. Safe. Secure.
Sealed.
Growing....bearing fruit.

And just as one couldn't stop the flesh from manifesting whilst under the law...how much stronger is this seed. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God". (Col 3:3)

As my my friend Rich says: "What a wonder-struck sense awaits us as he continues to open the eyes of our heart to see, know that the Law of the spirit of Life has freed us from the gravitational pull of sin and death. His nature is not an add-on, it IS! The works of the flesh ARE! The fruit of the spirit IS!"

"I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me,and I in them WILL produce much fruit." John 15:5

"God is in all. God dwells in Christ. Christ lives in God. We are in Christ. Christ is in us: our life taken up into His; His life recieved into ours; in a divine reality that words cannot express, we are in Him and He is in us. And the words,"Abide in me and I in you" just tell us to believe in this divine mystery, and to count upon our God the Husbandman, and Christ the vine, to make it divinely true. No thinking or teaching or praying can grasp it; it is a divine mystery of love. As little as we can effect the union can we understand it. Let us just look upon this infinite, divine, omnipotent Vine loving us, holding us, working in us. Let us in the faith of His working abide and rest in Him. And let us count upon Him to fulfill in us the mystery: 'Ye in me, and I in you'." - Andrew Murray

How much more beautiful, and enjoyable to anticipate and call forth and discern what is....because it is. And we've only just begun....

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints— the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. Colossians 1:3-6

Beloved ones

And a voice from heaven said " This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased."

"You are mine"
"You belong"
"You are precious to me"
"You are valuable"
"I am delighted in you"
"You are beautiful"
"You are capable"

The Father knows we need to hear it. He knows the brokeness of His children.
Jesus himself (whole as He was) was affirmed of His Father's unconditional affection.

Before he did anything, the Father affirmed who's He was and who He was.

It's the ammunition for the battle. The battle within our soul, and the battle to overcome the darkness in our families, in our communities and in our cities.

The adversary shortly later would chide Jesus"If you are "the son of God...

As he does to you, and me and countless millions enslaved by the law, who have yet to hear the news of their freedom.

IF?

The good news is that we ARE the righteousness of God in Christ.

This righteousness comes when we have faith in His blood, not our good behavior, to make us righteous. It is from faith to faith, not faith to works, or works to works.

"Scripture reassures us, "No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it." It's exactly the same no matter what a person's religious background may be: the same God for all of us, acting the same incredibly generous way to everyone who calls out for help. "Everyone who calls, 'Help, God!' gets help." But how can people call for help if they don't know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven't heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That's why Scripture exclaims, 'A sight to take your breath away! Grand processions of people telling all the good things of God!" Romans 10:11-15

The good news is not to be preached to show humanity what is wrong with them. It must be preached to show them what is right with them because of Jesus’ work at Calvary.

"Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust" 2 Peter 1:3-4

The LOVE revolution

I just had to stop in to introduce a band that I just heard on the radio today. I honestly had to stop the car and listen with wonder, not just at what I was hearing but with the realization that Father is up to something BIG....all over, wherever, with whomever, He is whispering and shouting out to His beloved creation "I LOVE YOU." He who has ears let them hear. I'm just thankful for those who do and willingly echo His voice.

From their website here is a blog post. This guy gets it. I love that! I love that a whole generation beneath me are discovering and uncovering the PURE gospel and begining to walk in the freedom and authority of that:

“And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.”
-Fydor Doystoevsky, (the Brothers Karamazov)

"Today, this single phrase has been beating in my head like a war drum.
On the battlefield of my mind, and in the fragile chaos of my machine-like heart,
this simple line has been echoing on.
Reverberating off the walls of war-torn streets,
I can faintly here the Roman calvary choirs singing.
And for me, it sounds a lot like freedom.
This one thought, this shining flickering light is my lighthouse in a thundering sea.
Maybe not you, but I for one have been rather sick and tired of myself as of late.
And more specifically, I’m tired of the lies that I so blindly believe.
I know it may sound melodramatic, but if my heart is where my treasure is
then I’m tired of this love affair I’ve made with doubt and
the seemingly never-ending struggle in my heart.
I want you to get it. I want you to understand that if you struggle with the answers
that you’re not alone. But I also want you to know the root, the cause,
and the fight that’s in between.

Lies
.
There are lies everywhere.
Blinking neon lights, and sweetly penned secrets.
A movie. A sermon. A Day after thanksgiving sale.
How quickly we forget that the things we hear and see are making an impression.
Like an empty place in the bed where a body used to lay,
they’re wrapped up in the sheets, but they don’t need the rest.
They can come without warning and talk for hours without a sound.
Lies tell the future, insist on interpreting the past,
and seem to always keep us paralyzed to the present.
They can fill a closet with skeletons and invite monsters under the bed.
Lies are strangers in friends clothing and fill your house when you’re alone.

Fears.

The inevitable, unstoppable result of listening to something other than the truth.
Cousins, sisters, brothers perhaps? I’m not exactly sure the relation
but I know that its a tie that binds.
Feed one, and you nourish the other.
Nurture a lie, and watch the panic grow.
Forget the truth and welcome anxiety.
Give up on hope, and welcome misery with open arms.

So then it should comes as no surprise
that the most recurrent command in all the Bible is this:
“Do not be afraid.”
Easy enough right?
Well maybe it could be,
but I don’t think we’ll ever live free of fear as long as fear itself is our problem.
Fydor reminds me. Fear is the consequence of a lie,
Which means, if I find in myself some irrisistible anxiety, chances are,
I’ve welcomed a lie into my heart.
And maybe I didn’t exactly welcome it.
Maybe I just forgot to close the door on some memory
or I left the window cracked, but whatever the reason,
if the lie has crept in somewhere,
and has made its home where my faith has worn through,
I must recognize it for what it is.

It should also come as no surprise then, that the work of God is belief.
“This is the work of God, that you believe in the one whom He has sent.”
Or as Jon Foreman sang, “belief over misery.”
Do we understand that fear isn’t something that we are meant to live with?
Do we have any idea how free we would be if we could just believe?
And trust me, I know. It’s not easy.
In fact, its the hardest work any of else will ever have to do,
but its the war we were meant for.
Since we’re grafted into Israel as Romans says,
that means we’re brought in to “wrestle with God,”
for that is exactly what Israel means.
So we fight to rest.
We work to stop working.
We war for peace.
We run to stand still.
Life is waiting for the ones who lose control.
“taking captive every thought, and making it obedient to Christ Jesus.”
Take captive?
Yeah.
Take it freaking captive.
Smack that lie in the mouth and slaughter it with truth.

Here’s some fights I’ve had so far.
Lie: “you’re too screwed up for God to love you anymore.”
Reliation: “God proves his love, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Lie: “I’ve made too many poor choices. I’ve missed God’s will for my life.”
Truth: “Even what you meant for evil, God meant for good.” (Gen 50:20)
“God works all things together for good for those who love God and who have been called”
Lie: “Someone might break in and kill me.”
Word: “Do not fear those who can kill the body and after that can do no more.
Fear him who after killing the body has the power to throw you into hell.” (Luke 12:4,5)
Lie: “I’m not good enough”
Truth: “In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us….” (I John 4:10)
Lie: “I’m awesome. God owes me.”
Truth: “God is not served by men’s hands as if He needed anything…” (Acts 17:25)
Lie: OMG. Can you believe this guy? What a jerk!
Truth: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but with sober judgement,
according the measure of faith God has given you.” (Romans 12:3)
Lie: “Sex will give me the pleasure I’m looking for.”
Truth: “I have no good thing apart from you.” (Psalm 16:2)
“In His presence there is the fullness of joy, at his right hand are pleasures forever.”
(Psalm 16:11)
Lie: “God’s command is going to ruin your good time.”
Truth: “The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give you life,
and life more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Lie: “I don’t have the strength to say no to this!”
Truth: “if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation.” (2 Cor 5:17)
“and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (I Cor 10:13)

The war drum goes on.
It never ends,
it doesn’t stop.
And so avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.
Belief is a fight. Work at it with all the power that God supplies."

- Mike (Lead singer from Tenth Avenue North)

Check them out if you get a chance:

The gosepl is the unveiling of God's love.

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.'" From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

The law highlights what we must do for God but grace illuminates what God has done and is doing for us. THAT is the unveiling of love, THAT is the good news we all need to hear each day.

Did Jesus come and tell people what they must do for God? Or did he come and tell people what He would do for them, and then demonstrate it?

The power of God to transform!

The first time I saw this movie almost 10 years ago I remember being so aware that my heart related so much to the character of Javert. It was like looking in a future mirror with shock and horror, and I was humbled by and drawn to the character of Jean Valjean. More so I was intrigued and haunted by the whole story played out in the movie. The clip above, was the first time I ever saw a glimpse of GRACE and MERCY demonstrated, the first time I saw one 'believe the best'....the fruit of the charachter's life later on in the rest of the movie makes so much sense to me now. I didn't understand it all but a hunger for true freedom had been awoken in me.

Today, something similar to what occurred in the clip above brought this whole scene back to memory and I have been asking questions.

How does grace (not law) work to change a man; a culture even?

Paul said: " I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith. (Romans 1:16)

"God made him (Jesus) who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

The gift of righteousness sets people free from condemnation and then they become open to the power of God. And it is the one who embraces this gift and enters through salvation's birth canal who bears the fruit of righteousness. Christianity is not right DOING. It is right BELIEVING. Right believing will always lead to right doing! Those who are FORGIVEN MUCH, will LOVE MUCH!

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently." Galatians 6:1

How do we restore gently?

ALL have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God.
God himself identified with us in our fallen condition when he came as a man and walked among us.

So we walk together with the broken...not alienating them, not pointing fingers and exposing flesh, but understanding that we too have been broken by the curse and it is only LOVE that has freed us. It is only grounded roots of love that produce foilage of beauty and the subsequent mouthwatering fruit of goodness.

Identity is always the issue. Let us tell them who they really are! The gospel proclaims for us all a picture of the finished work of Christ. If we want to give them real, positive, biblical hope, we must make them GOD conscious...not sin conscious, or problem conscious. Not past conscious, or future conscious. FOR He is a very PRESENT help in time of need! We must tell people that God is not holding their sins against them any more.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin -- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." (Rom 6:6-7)

And so we deal with darkness by releasing the light to shine, and do what it was meant to do:

Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way. When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today. Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost. (Luke 19 :1-10)

"Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the ocean depths.

You care for people and animals alike, O Lord.

How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your rivers of delight.For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see"

Psalm 36:5-9

How strong your love, how relentlessly your kindness pursues me.
It is so good to know that you will never give up on me, never let me down.
How sweet to trust you, to know that you are pure and good; always.
How grateful I am that in you there is no darkness, no intent of harm or self seeking. You are beautiful. You are my one desire. You alone are all that I need and seek. Thankyou for loving me indefinetly.

Does the gospel make a difference?

Remember, the gospel is "good news".

Interesting article. From Times Online, here:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece

Missionaries, not aid money, are the solution to Africa's biggest problem - the crushing passivity of the people's mindset.
By: Matthew Parris

"Before Christmas I returned, after 45 years, to the country that as a boy I knew as Nyasaland. Today it's Malawi, and The Times Christmas Appeal includes a small British charity working there. Pump Aid helps rural communities to install a simple pump, letting people keep their village wells sealed and clean. I went to see this work.

It inspired me, renewing my flagging faith in development charities. But travelling in Malawi refreshed another belief, too: one I've been trying to banish all my life, but an observation I've been unable to avoid since my African childhood. It confounds my ideological beliefs, stubbornly refuses to fit my world view, and has embarrassed my growing belief that there is no God.

Now a confirmed atheist, I've become convinced of the enormous contribution that Christian evangelism makes in Africa: sharply distinct from the work of secular NGOs, government projects and international aid efforts. These alone will not do. Education and training alone will not do. In Africa Christianity changes people's hearts. It brings a spiritual transformation. The rebirth is real. The change is good.

I used to avoid this truth by applauding - as you can - the practical work of mission churches in Africa. It's a pity, I would say, that salvation is part of the package, but Christians black and white, working in Africa, do heal the sick, do teach people to read and write; and only the severest kind of secularist could see a mission hospital or school and say the world would be better without it. I would allow that if faith was needed to motivate missionaries to help, then, fine: but what counted was the help, not the faith.

But this doesn't fit the facts. Faith does more than support the missionary; it is also transferred to his flock. This is the effect that matters so immensely, and which I cannot help observing.

First, then, the observation. We had friends who were missionaries, and as a child I stayed often with them; I also stayed, alone with my little brother, in a traditional rural African village. In the city we had working for us Africans who had converted and were strong believers. The Christians were always different. Far from having cowed or confined its converts, their faith appeared to have liberated and relaxed them. There was a liveliness, a curiosity, an engagement with the world - a directness in their dealings with others - that seemed to be missing in traditional African life. They stood tall.

At 24, travelling by land across the continent reinforced this impression. From Algiers to Niger, Nigeria, Cameroon and the Central African Republic, then right through the Congo to Rwanda, Tanzania and Kenya, four student friends and I drove our old Land Rover to Nairobi.

We slept under the stars, so it was important as we reached the more populated and lawless parts of the sub-Sahara that every day we find somewhere safe by nightfall. Often near a mission.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, we had to acknowledge that something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers - in some ways less so - but more open.

This time in Malawi it was the same. I met no missionaries. You do not encounter missionaries in the lobbies of expensive hotels discussing development strategy documents, as you do with the big NGOs. But instead I noticed that a handful of the most impressive African members of the Pump Aid team (largely from Zimbabwe) were, privately, strong Christians. “Privately” because the charity is entirely secular and I never heard any of its team so much as mention religion while working in the villages. But I picked up the Christian references in our conversations. One, I saw, was studying a devotional textbook in the car. One, on Sunday, went off to church at dawn for a two-hour service.

It would suit me to believe that their honesty, diligence and optimism in their work was unconnected with personal faith. Their work was secular, but surely affected by what they were. What they were was, in turn, influenced by a conception of man's place in the Universe that Christianity had taught.

There's long been a fashion among Western academic sociologists for placing tribal value systems within a ring fence, beyond critiques founded in our own culture: “theirs” and therefore best for “them”; authentic and of intrinsically equal worth to ours.

I don't follow this. I observe that tribal belief is no more peaceable than ours; and that it suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, extended family and tribe. This rural-traditional mindset feeds into the “big man” and gangster politics of the African city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety - fear of evil spirits, of ancestors, of nature and the wild, of a tribal hierarchy, of quite everyday things - strikes deep into the whole structure of rural African thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won't take the initiative, won't take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

How can I, as someone with a foot in both camps, explain? When the philosophical tourist moves from one world view to another he finds - at the very moment of passing into the new - that he loses the language to describe the landscape to the old. But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? “Because it's there,” he said.

To the rural African mind, this is an explanation of why one would not climb the mountain. It's... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary's further explanation - that nobody else had climbed it - would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosphical/spiritual framework I've just described. It offers something to hold on to to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

Those who want Africa to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

And I'm afraid it has to be supplanted by another. Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike, the witch doctor, the mobile phone and the machete."

And for further insight, watch this....
http://www.ibethel.tv/watch/41:3:4

Full of Hope in 2009!

“This I know, God is for me” (Psalm 56:9)

This excerpt from Steve McVEY was exactly what Father has been whispering to my heart:

"Our God is a friendly God and He is sovereign over the universe. So, wherever we are we can trust Him to work all things together for our good. Is the universe friendly? It doesn't matter. The God who rules the universe is.

How you think about life is very important. As you move into 2009, appropriate the virtue of applying God’s underlying goodness to every situation you face in life. Do you believe the following statement? God is for you. There is no substantial ground to stand on when it comes to expecting the best until we have settled that we do, indeed, believe that statement.

Without absolute confidence that God is for you, circumstances may toss your emotions and actions around like a cork in the ocean. The person who has settled on the fact of God’s goodness is able to calmly move forward in anticipation of a good outcome
Does that mean that we always get what we want? Not at all, but it does mean that while our path may be a winding one that sometimes leads us through valleys, we are progressing all the while toward a good place. Any place God leads us is a good place because it is God’s place for our lives.

As you move through the next year, expect the best. Consider every positive result in your life to be a reminder from God of His intent to bless you. Look for His hand and listen for His voice in the subtleties of your day." - Steve McVey

So like I did in the beginning, I am watching and listening. Only this time I am EXPECTING. I am pregnant with the seed of HOPE and that hope will give birth to life in me and for others.

The true reflection

My lover thinks I'm beautiful and he is enamoured with me.

My Father says I am His delight and He really enjoys me.

Faithfully I've been showered with this ever pursuing, devoted love from the moment of my birth. Words of affirmation....tender touches...lavish gifts....sweet time together...humble service. Over and over He gives to me. In the secret place of conception He smiled on me...

Ephesians 1:3-6
"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son."

But little have I noticed. Rarely have I believed.
My gaze has been at my own tattered, bruised, ugly FLESH.
Scarred by condemnation, groping gratification, poverty's fearful withholding, rejection, isolation and demanding expectations I have kept myself locked in a prison of self hatred. Not living loved, but living as though cursed.

A precious blogging friend shared a parable this week and asked the question that highlights this problem: 'Have you been gazing into your Lover's eyes as He speaks truth to you or are you bewitched by your own reflection in the mirror?'

The stickers only stick if you let them...

To gaze into my lovers eyes means I must lift my eyes and look away from my flesh. I must turn from the curse of the law...until His eyes alone become the true mirror reflection. And Pappa's words, they MUST be the only one's I receive. (Romans 10:17. Peter 6:68) I must preach this gospel to myself daily! And rest confident...

Corinthians 5:14-17
"Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you."

He thinks YOU are beautiful and he is enamoured with YOU.

YOUR Father says that you are His delight and He enjoys YOU.

Faithfully He has and will shower you with this ever pursuing, devoted love. Words of affirmation....tender touches...lavish gifts....His sweet presence...humble service. Over and over He will give to you. In the secret place of conception He smiled on you...He still smiles on you. Will you, with me, percieve and recieve how true and real this love?

A gift worth giving : LIFE!

“Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son,and they will call him Immanuel,which means ‘God is with us.’” Matthew 1:23

"For to us a child is born, onto us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaih 9:6

The revelations and manifestation of His presence here and now are refreshing proof that Jesus IS ALIVE and INVOLVED in our lives. I don't know why, because I've heard it before, but it really just hit me today that indeed signs and wonders must accompany the beautiful gospel of grace; the great exchange where He bore my death that I may recieve His life. The lost, broken and dying MUST really know that He is the real deal (not a fairytale, a cute little story, a permanent figure in a manger.... or a dead prophet//teacher) but God Almighty....the resurrected Christ....and that He has truely come to give them life to the full!

Wash me with your word.

Your name is like honey, for your words are sweet.....they are life to me. Speak to the broken places that I may be whole. Tell me who I am again. Give me salve for my eyes.

So much more....

"My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:16-19)

Let THE CHILDREN come to me...

One Saturday morning 2 year old boy Joshua heard the song "I See Grace" from his bedroom, then he stopped playing and started to sing from his pure heart...



Jesus my help,
I call on Your name!
I cast my cares on You.

Jesus my hope,
My tower of strength!
My faith is found in You.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross, I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice.
I see love reaching for me
Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies.
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

Bearer of sin,
Afflicted and tried!
You paid redemption's price.

Bearing my curse,
You've set me on high!
Your death has brought me life.

I see You pierced, wounded for me,
When I look to the cross I see.....

I see grace,
Sealed by Your sacrifice!
I see love reaching for me.

Precious blood,
Washes and sanctifies
Healing flows,
Setting me free.
I see grace.....

"Our LORD and Ruler, your name is wonderful everywhere on earth! You let your glory be seen in the heavens above. With praises from children and from tiny infants, you have built a fortress. It makes your enemies silent, and all who turn against you are left speechless. I often think of the heavens your hands have made, and of the moon and stars you put in place. Then I ask, "Why do you care about us humans? Why are you concerned for us weaklings? You made us a little lower than you yourself, and you have crowned us with glory and honor. You let us rule everything your hands have made. And you put all of it under our power-- the sheep and the cattle, and every wild animal, the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and all ocean creatures. Our LORD and Ruler, your name is wonderful everywhere on earth!" (Psalm 8:1-9)

Father, here I come with empty hands. I raise them to you who loves me. I am your child. I know you reach for me. I shall not want.

(Thanks Julie for sharing this video, what a precious reminder of the one thing that matters)

Letting go

Father has a way of disarming us so that HE alone can be be our protection. How else will we get to the origin of Eden where we were naked and yet unashamed? Gently, like this weeks snowstorm, he comes without warning and says "Lay down your weapons....lay down your self preservation. Let go of the things that you think will keep your world together..can I alone be your source of hope and strength and peace? You don't have to play God. I AM. To live in dependance is to enter the vulnerability of humanity, as I did."



"....so I untie the bough line
let it slip through my fingers
I want to call the ship back to the shore.
Instead I struggle out a prayer that finds its way through tear drops,
and my heart cracks in two as I let go.
If I didn't know your captain...
If I didn't trust His skills....
I'd keep you safe at home within our loving arms
but I know you must be going
with the wind that now is blowing
I will watch and pray for you
I will keep a place for you....."

( excert from a song by Paul Young that touched me this week in the middle of my stuff )

The nature of God

"Absolute Surrender is frightening only to the extent that we don't KNOW or TRUST God's character." - Steve McVey

My life....your life...has been a journey to the center of HIS heart. All the circumstances of our lives, a tapestry woven, until we see the big picture - Christ, the all sufficient one. Christ, (in you) the hope of glory. Until the masterpiece is formed. (Galations 4:19)

I dedicate today's entry to my family in Christ worldwide who I love with all my heart, some struggling in the wilderness of the unknown, struggling through fear and unbelief and others now resting in the land of His promises and abundant life.

"Beloved, He will not rest himself until you have a revelation of what He is really, really like....From this day on there is no such thing as a GOOD day or a BAD day, there is only a DAY OF GRACE. And some days the grace of God allows you to ENJOY what is happening and some days the grace of God allows you to ENDURE what is happening...And the grace of God is going to come and bring with it the nature of God, that you might Know Him, and rest in Him and live in Him, and move in Him and worship Him and represent Him." - Graham Cooke

I love this journey Father. This bringing me to the end of myself, and the beginning.

You are again revealing another broken cictern for what it is and I am once again left naked and yet covered by your love. ALL of my identity and femininity and purpose and hunger for being has been wrapped up in my role as wife and mother and I've sucked it dry. I am not sure who I am, not sure what you intended for me. And I have exhausted this idol! Even this stripped? Do you really just want me? With all my failures? With all this incompetency? Yes even in the simplicity of being a woman I do not measure up to my own expectations. How beautiful your ways.

I am ready to let you create in me, to shine through me, to be my very life....Not by my own doing. Not by my trying anymore.... Be my identity and enable me to see who I am in YOU. I am so empty without you. Come love me. Come fill me. Come break these walls of fear and rebuke these lies of intimidation. Come teach me how to rest IN YOU completely. Let my identity become as the beloved. I want to be "the loved one". Nothing more. Fruit happens. :)

Breath in, breathe out

So here I am
learning to breathe again.

Off life support...depending on you to be my very source. And you are.
Thankyou for being my root, my sap, my all.
You are right here with me and yet you beckon me to come close:"Lay your head apon my breast" you say..."Let me put the cup of my love to your lips...drink deeply."
Abba Daddy you are here.El Shaddai you nourish, supply, and satisfy.
Beloved bridegroom I am in your embrace.

Living on manna

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller

About 5 years back God gave me a peek into my own heart. There it was, a glass jar with NO lid on it. And inside was a butterfly...a butterfly that I suspected had been born in this glass jar.

I don't know when it happened; when I noticed the sky...and that there was more than just the sky to see, and taste and smell, but somehow I was suddenly aware of my desire to experience the free and the wild....the beauty that God intended. To live and breath like Enoch and Abraham of old. The desire was there because the invitation was there(hence no lid).......it's always been there, but this time I looked up. I looked beyong my self, beyond the "walls of safety" and took the leap out.

But I'll be honest, I am embracing this freedom, with much terror...this living life beyond walls. I have been frustrated that I can't measure things, outside the walls. I can't contain things, outside the walls. I can't control tomorrow, or today or the next moment. It's just too big, too unpredictable, too creative, too wild! Too much like a creation in need of it's Creator.

And that's just the ugly beautiful of it all. The idols are being exposed. Every issue of shame and insignificance, guilt and emptiness is rising to surface. And I'm beginning to realise how the walls not only helped me feel secure, they at least let me look secure. I have been holding on to a delusion that those walls gave me security and greater self-respect and have settled for much less than complete abandonment to my Father's love.

And that's just it. To live beyond walls is to throw myself into His arms. It's to say I don't trust in the economy, or employment. I don't trust in the institution of marraige, education or religion. I don't trust in my gifts or abilities. I don't trust in peoples good opinion of me. I just trust you. I trust that You are good, you are with me in all this, and your love for me endures. And I choose to trust in YOU one moment at a time.

Paul Young (author of THE SHACK) writes ".... in the process of becoming whole we are continually given opportunities to exchange all the uncertainties of life for the certainty of God’s character. This is an exercise in dependence and we should recogize it for the revolutionary action and rebellious stand against the systems (who are so quick to promise all manner of ‘certainties’).

As we trust God’s character of Love and particularly His active and involved love toward us, we don’t have to understand the circumstances of our lives in order to live freely and live loved. Faith sees past the uncertainties, and in some sense even embraces them, knowing that the certainty of Papa’s love is the only place where there is real solid ground.

Fear, on the other hand, runs from uncertainty or tries to erect systems and devices or gives allegiance to anyone or anything that promises to make life more certain. But the ultimate little child pointing out the emperor’s nakedness, is death. Death is a mockery of every attempt at certainty and why the world lives in fear of death, the one ‘potential’ that is assuredly ‘certain’.

The life of being loved and the life of faith is a life of risk; learning to hear the voice of One who loves in the midst of screaming uncertainties and demanding necessities. It is a journey and process…this learning to live loved. We will make lots of mistakes, but like Peter and Mack, we will come to understand and actually be overwhelmed by joy when we begin to realize that we would rather be sinking out on the water with Jesus than ’safe’ back in the boat, without Him."

Learning to love faithfully

My nanna passed away last week.
She was a woman that I sadly did not have the priveledge of knowing.....really knowing. She had lived through a difficult childhood but had only spoken a little of it in the last few years of her life here on earth. Moments of humble service, acceptance,and honor had melted the heart enough to allow for moments of vulnerabilty. Love had created a safe place. In those moments of discovery I saw glimpses of a young girl more alive than the woman who shared the stories. My heart grieved over the protective shell that prevented such vitality and passion from emerging more fully. And in this time of rememberance I saw the ways in which she had loved. And I wished not only that I had loved more but that I had seen and recieved more of the love she had offered.

Now, in the safest place, she blooms. In the light of Love she is free. Like an emerging butterfly she will see the beauty He had intended. Like a flower unfurling in the warmth of the sun's gaze, the fragrance that is unique to her shall be poured out as worship and love to her Creator. In His eyes she stands complete. He makes all things new, and beautiful, in His time.

But I am learning. Learning that loving others is not a waste. One waters and waters seed even if there is no immediate recognition of care, no sprout to say "It's working". No, it is only when we look back that we see what love has done. It is really NOW, in my freedom, that I want to and need to say thank you to those of you who loved me and love me still, encouraged me and encourage me still, who never gave up on me and served me a cup of water in Jesus name. You who shine the keeping, covenant love of the Father. You who were Jesus in skin for me.... for many years or maybe in passing. I too am blooming. I am learning to notice the love you extend to me.

John Newton, who himself had drunk deeply from the fountain of grace, once said "If as I go home, a child dropped a halfpence, and if, by giving it another, I can wipe away its tears, I feel I have done something. I should be glad to do greater things but I will not neglect this."

I want to "do something" too. Just one thing, one moment at a time, can and does add hope to dispare. One small candle still lights a dark room. I want the transforming love of Jesus, the tender heart of my Father to flow as a river in my life. I want to see gardens spring up from deserts.

I want to be a safe place....a well to drink from...a servant.... I want to be like the faithful lover of my own soul.