I know that the desert places are a time of growth and wooing and consecration. But I am realizing too that in this place I have been struggling with his voice, with the call to come up and come in to the heart and ways of the Lord. The way of trust and rest.It's dark and painful.
It is completely silly but it is like I am trying to get through a dark tunnel on my own. I could simply depend solely on one candle which another holds but I think that it would be far more superior for me to get through it by sheer determination and intuitivness. What stubborness, pride and craziness!
Jesus said: "I am the light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life."
There is a sure way out of the darkness. My struggle and resistance are what keep me in the dark. So if I hear his voice and trust his voice, leaning and resting on him as my only source I will no longer be lost.In his mercy, he uses this place to strip and mold me. He loves me unconditionally in this place until there is finally a YES cry! But Oh that I would always have that yes cry first and trust Him as my light, my only hope, my life.
"As long as we think WE can, or even if we think God will enable us to do it, we are still striving. We must cease to do, and allow Him to do.....We know that Christ was tempted in all areas like as we are, yet without sin. He is over all things, and there"s not a single temptation, situation, problem, or circumstance that He has not already mastered. We do not worry that Christ may stumble, or sin, or be taken advantage of by the enemy. Why? We trust in His Life; we know the Man; we believe He is sufficient, nay, more than sufficient, to answer any and every test, trial, and temptation. Since He lives in me, and I am a vessel which contains His Life, why can I not trust in His Life working through me as much as I would trust Christ on earth? Is it not the same Spirit? Decidedly so!
"Trust in My Life," that Spirit urges. Cease striving, trust Me, watch what happens." (Chip Brogden excerpt from "Trust in my Life")