"Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
"Be careful," Jesus said to them. "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees."
ANY exhortation that encourages us to focus on what WE must do (in order to experience God's love, blessing, or favor in our life) will NOT bring LIFE to our Spirit. Anything that invites us to add on to the finished work of God in Christ is not good news but rather a message of death...an invitation to a life of curses!
That's alot of voices to push away....
And so it grows quieter around here. Listening...listening for that still small voice.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
Shine on me!
This past weekend friends and I spent time hanging out together enjoying the presence of Jesus. As we sang and meditated on this song I began to reflect on the present outpouring of God's glory worldwide....the ever increasing manifestation of His goodness and grace towards the sons of men...and I turned to the Psalms to find words with which to express my thankfulness. My eyes fell on Psalm 67: 1-2 (which is the Psalm we were singing together) and a shift suddenly happened in my heart.
In the Amplified Bible the Psalm reads:
"God be merciful and gracious to us and BLESS us and cause His face to shine upon us and among us (Selah - think of that)That your way may be known upon the earth, your saving power (Your deliverances and Your salvation) among ALL nations."
For the longest time I have not accepted the goodness of God. I have not welcomed the abundant mercy and the lavish blessings that He has longed to pour out apon me. I have been walking as an orphan and believed falsely that to resist my Father's extravegance and be self sufficiant was humilty. How wrong I have been!
"Your goodness is so great! You have stored up great blessings for those who honor you. You have done so much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before a watching world. " Psalm 31: 19
The world is broken and looking for love. What orphan child doesn't look at a family in which affection, protection, nurture and provision are abundant and long for the same? Why do we act as though we don't need these things and can get by? We have a good and loving Father who says: "Everything I have is yours!"
Joseph Prince has a teaching that expounds on this. He says that Jesus delights in us drawing from Him. We honour God when we take our place as man and let God be God by drawing from Him. The One who said, “I did not come to be served, but to serve,” (Matthew 20:28) loves it when we allow Him to minister to us! How true this is! He IS love and He IS goodness (Exodus 34:6-7) He never stops being who He is but only some are BOLD enough to approach the throne of Grace, sit on His lap and receive from all that He is. There is no limit. And we fall so short when He has even called us to ask for whole nations.
The more I trust His love, the more confident I become. It is the Father's good pleasure to give me the kingdom! I am growing to EXPECT His affection, His protection, His nurture and His provision...not just for me but for others!
Surrender
Take my hand, take my whole life too....
for I can't help falling in love with you.
God you are so good. Your love endures forever! You have patiently waited for me. Wooing me. Lavishing your love and kindness on me. How great is your mercy and grace!
How can I but say YES to you?! How can I hold back when your grace is so secure?! I trust you. Completely. I DO.
I want to play the strings of your heart, God.
Come play the strings of mine.
I want to sing straight to your heart God.
Come sing straight to mine.
You have my heart.
Lord, you have my heart.
Lord, you have my heart.
And I am searching for yours.
Lord, you have my thoughts.
Lord, you have my thoughts.
Lord, you have my thoughts.
And I am searching for yours.
Lord, you have my song.
Lord, you have my song.
Lord, you have my song.
And I am searching for yours.
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
Jesus
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
I'm so in love with you.
Jesus
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Qualified through adoption!
"But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12
I was poor, naked, ashamed, in bondage and dying.
I beheld Jesus who was abundantly rich in all things, clothed in humility and majesty, full of favor, love, liberty and life and saw that he was inviting ME to make an exchange and come into union with HIM!
I trusted him. With childlike faith I believed in His love and received His offer of mercy, grace and goodnesss toward me. I believed the exchange to be possible! He took all of my wretchedness and I received all His beauty and dignity. I was given a new name and a new identity! The old was gone and I was made a new creation!
That is the power of the gospel.
When we are born again and begin our lives in the Spirit, God's word says that we are made complete through our union with Christ. That's right! When we place our faith in Jesus we become children of God . We are now holy, acceptable, blamesless, perfect, without a single fault in the Father's eyes. No amount of culture, high ideals, good deeds, status, education, gift, talent or approval of men can ADD to our position in Christ. None of that stuff can exalt us any higher than we already are as sons and daughters of the most High God! HE alone is our goodness; our righteousness. His love has covered us, wrapping us like a priestly/princely robe. The Father's seal of adoption is apon us. The work is FINISHED. We receive the FULLNESS (in Jesus) of all that God created and intended us to be. Our value in the worlds eyes makes no difference to God. We are free from their estimation of our value and worth.
Jesus life, death and resurection purchased this precious gift for me. God's love for me has qualified me!
*****************************************************
I have recently requested a daily devotional sent to my inbox from Joseph Prince. I have added the one that I recieved today below as I thought it very fitting:
All That Jesus Is Before God, You Are
"For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)
When an Israelite brings an animal as his sin offering, he lays his hand on it before killing it. (Leviticus 4:1–4) By laying his hand on the sin offering, his sins are transferred to the innocent animal. The animal dies for his sins and he goes free.
In contrast, with the burnt offering, when the Israelite lays his hand on the animal (Leviticus 1:3–4), the beauty, worthiness and acceptance of the unblemished animal are transferred to him. God accepts the perfection of the animal sacrifice on his behalf to make atonement for him. Because God accepts the unblemished burnt offering, he now has right standing before God.
Do you know that the two offerings speak of Jesus’ one offering of Himself when He hung on the cross? He is both our sin offering and burnt offering — “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us [as our sin offering], that we might become the righteousness of God in Him [as our burnt offering]”. The moment you put your faith in Him, just by His one sacrifice, your sins were transferred to Him, and His righteousness was transferred to you. That is the grace of God towards you!
As our sin offering, He offered Himself once and for all. (Romans 6:10) The sin offering was never a daily offering because God does not want His people to be sin-conscious. However, the burnt offering was both a morning and evening sacrifice (2 Chronicles 13:11) because God wants His people to be righteous-conscious.
Likewise, God wants you to lay claim daily on Jesus as your burnt offering and say, “Father, I thank You that Jesus is my burnt offering. All that Jesus is before You — His righteousness, excellence, beauty and perfection — is transferred to me. Jesus has Your unclouded favour, so I enjoy Your unclouded favour in my life. Jesus is the righteousness of God, so I am the righteousness of God in Christ. As He is before You, so am I.”
Because Jesus became your burnt offering, what He is to the Father today, you are! That is what it means to be in Christ.
I was poor, naked, ashamed, in bondage and dying.
I beheld Jesus who was abundantly rich in all things, clothed in humility and majesty, full of favor, love, liberty and life and saw that he was inviting ME to make an exchange and come into union with HIM!
I trusted him. With childlike faith I believed in His love and received His offer of mercy, grace and goodnesss toward me. I believed the exchange to be possible! He took all of my wretchedness and I received all His beauty and dignity. I was given a new name and a new identity! The old was gone and I was made a new creation!
That is the power of the gospel.
When we are born again and begin our lives in the Spirit, God's word says that we are made complete through our union with Christ. That's right! When we place our faith in Jesus we become children of God . We are now holy, acceptable, blamesless, perfect, without a single fault in the Father's eyes. No amount of culture, high ideals, good deeds, status, education, gift, talent or approval of men can ADD to our position in Christ. None of that stuff can exalt us any higher than we already are as sons and daughters of the most High God! HE alone is our goodness; our righteousness. His love has covered us, wrapping us like a priestly/princely robe. The Father's seal of adoption is apon us. The work is FINISHED. We receive the FULLNESS (in Jesus) of all that God created and intended us to be. Our value in the worlds eyes makes no difference to God. We are free from their estimation of our value and worth.
Jesus life, death and resurection purchased this precious gift for me. God's love for me has qualified me!
*****************************************************
I have recently requested a daily devotional sent to my inbox from Joseph Prince. I have added the one that I recieved today below as I thought it very fitting:
All That Jesus Is Before God, You Are
"For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)
When an Israelite brings an animal as his sin offering, he lays his hand on it before killing it. (Leviticus 4:1–4) By laying his hand on the sin offering, his sins are transferred to the innocent animal. The animal dies for his sins and he goes free.
In contrast, with the burnt offering, when the Israelite lays his hand on the animal (Leviticus 1:3–4), the beauty, worthiness and acceptance of the unblemished animal are transferred to him. God accepts the perfection of the animal sacrifice on his behalf to make atonement for him. Because God accepts the unblemished burnt offering, he now has right standing before God.
Do you know that the two offerings speak of Jesus’ one offering of Himself when He hung on the cross? He is both our sin offering and burnt offering — “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us [as our sin offering], that we might become the righteousness of God in Him [as our burnt offering]”. The moment you put your faith in Him, just by His one sacrifice, your sins were transferred to Him, and His righteousness was transferred to you. That is the grace of God towards you!
As our sin offering, He offered Himself once and for all. (Romans 6:10) The sin offering was never a daily offering because God does not want His people to be sin-conscious. However, the burnt offering was both a morning and evening sacrifice (2 Chronicles 13:11) because God wants His people to be righteous-conscious.
Likewise, God wants you to lay claim daily on Jesus as your burnt offering and say, “Father, I thank You that Jesus is my burnt offering. All that Jesus is before You — His righteousness, excellence, beauty and perfection — is transferred to me. Jesus has Your unclouded favour, so I enjoy Your unclouded favour in my life. Jesus is the righteousness of God, so I am the righteousness of God in Christ. As He is before You, so am I.”
Because Jesus became your burnt offering, what He is to the Father today, you are! That is what it means to be in Christ.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
I will remember your sins NO MORE
After 30 years of acute depression I am gloriously free!!!! Sometime around March or April I began to soak in the message of grace exclusively. It has been soooooooo long that I have struggled with shame, anxiety, fear and a deep sadness that I'm almost hesitant to announce it hahaha but I literally feel an inner bubble of joy and laughter and peace that I have never before experienced. :) I am finally understanding and standing on the truth that I am the beloved and righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. The law and abuse I lived under as a child finally has no hold on me...the healing is no longer just a momentary glimpse. The release of grace, mercy and forgiveness for the ones who "knew not what they were doing" is flowing beyond just choice but now unto full compassion. Praise God!!!
I know I am called to the nations, and now there is NOTHING holding me back! I am so excited by what Jesus is doing in my heart and I am even grateful now for the LONG healing process. I have such a compassion now not just for the wounded but even for the religious legalist whose bondage I deeply understand. There is nothing as debilitating as the burden of condemnation.
I believe the video below is a prophetic picture of what The Father is about to do all over the earth for His bride:
"Heads up! The days are coming
when I'll set up a new plan
for dealing with Israel and Judah.
I'll throw out the old plan
I set up with their ancestors
when I led them by the hand out of Egypt.
They didn't keep their part of the bargain,
so I looked away and let it go.
This new plan I'm making with Israel
isn't going to be written on paper,
isn't going to be chiseled in stone;
This time I'm writing out the plan in them,
carving it on the lining of their hearts.
I'll be their God,
they'll be my people.
They won't go to school to learn about me,
or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They'll all get to know me firsthand,
the little and the big, the small and the great.
They'll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust." (Hebrews 8:6-13)
A sleeping bride is being aroused...awakened from her stupor and captivated by the revelation of a clean conscience. What compassion and mercy is this?! Fear and Condemnation is falling off. Jesus, our beautiful bridegroom will be the desire of all the nations. A revolution is coming!
I know I am called to the nations, and now there is NOTHING holding me back! I am so excited by what Jesus is doing in my heart and I am even grateful now for the LONG healing process. I have such a compassion now not just for the wounded but even for the religious legalist whose bondage I deeply understand. There is nothing as debilitating as the burden of condemnation.
I believe the video below is a prophetic picture of what The Father is about to do all over the earth for His bride:
"Heads up! The days are coming
when I'll set up a new plan
for dealing with Israel and Judah.
I'll throw out the old plan
I set up with their ancestors
when I led them by the hand out of Egypt.
They didn't keep their part of the bargain,
so I looked away and let it go.
This new plan I'm making with Israel
isn't going to be written on paper,
isn't going to be chiseled in stone;
This time I'm writing out the plan in them,
carving it on the lining of their hearts.
I'll be their God,
they'll be my people.
They won't go to school to learn about me,
or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They'll all get to know me firsthand,
the little and the big, the small and the great.
They'll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust." (Hebrews 8:6-13)
A sleeping bride is being aroused...awakened from her stupor and captivated by the revelation of a clean conscience. What compassion and mercy is this?! Fear and Condemnation is falling off. Jesus, our beautiful bridegroom will be the desire of all the nations. A revolution is coming!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Starting over
God is taking me on a journey. I am blown away that all those early whispers were truely His calling to me. I am delighted and in awe. I am falling in love all over again, and all the regrets....all the former failures....and all the stuff I tried to make succeed (even that which did) doesn't matter anymore. It finally doesn't matter.
Selah.
"... I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),and that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]. Phil.3:8-10 (Amplified)
He is jealous for me
loves like a hurrican I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden...
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me
And oh how He loves us oh
Oh how he loves us
how he loves us Oh
We are His portion
and He is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
if grace is a notion than we're all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
He loves us
oh how he loves us
He loves us
oh how He loves us....
(Song by John Mark McMillan)
Selah.
"... I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One),and that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith.[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[a]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]. Phil.3:8-10 (Amplified)
He is jealous for me
loves like a hurrican I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden...
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me
And oh how He loves us oh
Oh how he loves us
how he loves us Oh
We are His portion
and He is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
if grace is a notion than we're all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
He loves us
oh how he loves us
He loves us
oh how He loves us....
(Song by John Mark McMillan)
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Messenger of "Good News"
"Seeing more and more the wonderous supply of grace laid up in Jesus, the fulness of our precious saviour, my guilt and helplessness seemed to increase. Sins committed appeared but as trifles compared with the sin of unbelief which was their cause, which could not or would not take God at his word, but rather made Him a liar! Unbelief I felt was the damning sin of the world; yet I indulged in it. I prayed for faith, but it came not, What was I to do?......." (Hudson Taylor on the struggle for faith)
In my own longing to understand the depth and completeness of all Jesus has done,I found myself crying out "....but Lord I don't know that I yet fully BELIEVE in the finished work! I am still prone to trust my efforts. Why can't I comprehend?" In the quietness I hear...."Rest child, is it not your very unbelief that I have covered with my blood?"
Yes. The very core. The very root of all rotten fruit. Even that. Especially that!
You took MY unbelief and exchanged it for YOUR righteousness.
"If we believe not, He abideth faithful..." 2Timothy 2:13
"...But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One!...and when I saw, oh how joy flowed!.." (Hudson Taylor on the revelation of our oneness with Jesus)
So there's my sin....naked, exposed, craving self-effort and you whisper "Look away from your sin...look at MY righteousness. The righteousness that covers you even now. I am the only sure thing."
"I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20
*****************************************************
"And when he comes, he will convince the world of it's sin, and of God's righteousness, and of the coming judgement. The world's sin is unbeleief in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgement will come because the prince of the world has already been judged." John 16:8
In my own longing to understand the depth and completeness of all Jesus has done,I found myself crying out "....but Lord I don't know that I yet fully BELIEVE in the finished work! I am still prone to trust my efforts. Why can't I comprehend?" In the quietness I hear...."Rest child, is it not your very unbelief that I have covered with my blood?"
Yes. The very core. The very root of all rotten fruit. Even that. Especially that!
You took MY unbelief and exchanged it for YOUR righteousness.
"If we believe not, He abideth faithful..." 2Timothy 2:13
"...But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One!...and when I saw, oh how joy flowed!.." (Hudson Taylor on the revelation of our oneness with Jesus)
So there's my sin....naked, exposed, craving self-effort and you whisper "Look away from your sin...look at MY righteousness. The righteousness that covers you even now. I am the only sure thing."
"I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20
*****************************************************
"And when he comes, he will convince the world of it's sin, and of God's righteousness, and of the coming judgement. The world's sin is unbeleief in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgement will come because the prince of the world has already been judged." John 16:8
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The cross
I have been trusting in an incredible love for almost 29 years now.....trusting but not fully comprehending...
I was 5 years old. Unaware that the next 29 years would hold much shame, confusion and pain. Resting for an afternoon nap.....he appears. On the yellow chair in my room. And he beckons me to follow him. I do, of course. He is Jesus....
And He shows me all that he did for me.....
With simple trust I am forever changed.....born anew that afternoon.
The memory of all that he showed me GONE....
just the memory of his face, the warmth of his love.
and to that I have clung for 29 years
But now, I want to KNOW what he did for me. Not intellectually. I am tired of living by principal. I want to know the very root of the love I saw in his eyes. I want to cling to something stronger than a memory. I want to know the power of the cross!
The cross: where the admiration of humanity will not lure me...or the condemnation of humanity lame me. (Galations 6:14)
I was 5 years old. Unaware that the next 29 years would hold much shame, confusion and pain. Resting for an afternoon nap.....he appears. On the yellow chair in my room. And he beckons me to follow him. I do, of course. He is Jesus....
And He shows me all that he did for me.....
With simple trust I am forever changed.....born anew that afternoon.
The memory of all that he showed me GONE....
just the memory of his face, the warmth of his love.
and to that I have clung for 29 years
But now, I want to KNOW what he did for me. Not intellectually. I am tired of living by principal. I want to know the very root of the love I saw in his eyes. I want to cling to something stronger than a memory. I want to know the power of the cross!
The cross: where the admiration of humanity will not lure me...or the condemnation of humanity lame me. (Galations 6:14)
Thursday, January 17, 2008
return to one thing
...the pain
...the desolation
...the loneliness
...the utter barren.....empty.....landscape
that reveals my heart. Lonely, barren, empty.
Aching for idols ...looking back to Eygpt....wanting comfort
Is this what it was all about....
bringing me to see the dark in me..... and how you love me tenderly
until all that matters is you
God is committed to bringing us the greatest joy possible, however such joy is only found in Him. Therefore, He allows, and even causes, us to have our most cherished dreams shattered in order that we will quit hoping in them and find our joy in Him.- Larry Crab
...the desolation
...the loneliness
...the utter barren.....empty.....landscape
that reveals my heart. Lonely, barren, empty.
Aching for idols ...looking back to Eygpt....wanting comfort
Is this what it was all about....
bringing me to see the dark in me..... and how you love me tenderly
until all that matters is you
God is committed to bringing us the greatest joy possible, however such joy is only found in Him. Therefore, He allows, and even causes, us to have our most cherished dreams shattered in order that we will quit hoping in them and find our joy in Him.- Larry Crab
Monday, January 07, 2008
Behold, I make all things new...
The New year is here now.
It came without fanfare. No grand visions or anxious scribbles of destiny and desire. No...not like the years before.
I weakly ask the Father that my heart not be so jaded that I care not for tomorrow.
And his answer to me is MERCY that is NEW every morning. Just one morning at a time.
I have been timid to write. I have also had little to say. Life has humbled me this past year and I am in reflection alot....in a quieter way then I have known before. My ambitions, ideas, identity and efforts were joustled and shaken. All while jesus slept.
But the storm is over. I can tell because there is a quiet confidence that is not my own....a peace and stillness that hangs over my soul despite my religious leanings otherwise, a rest that only He could bring to this battered heart.
Truely..."A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish." (isaiah 42:3)
So I hold on with fresh hope....with thankfulness that there is today and tomorrow and learning to live from this place.
"Lord, to whom shall (I) go? You have the words of eternal life. (I) have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God." Isaiah 6:68-69
I dont know much anymore God...but I know I love you.
Perhaps Im not alone:
Webisode 4
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It came without fanfare. No grand visions or anxious scribbles of destiny and desire. No...not like the years before.
I weakly ask the Father that my heart not be so jaded that I care not for tomorrow.
And his answer to me is MERCY that is NEW every morning. Just one morning at a time.
I have been timid to write. I have also had little to say. Life has humbled me this past year and I am in reflection alot....in a quieter way then I have known before. My ambitions, ideas, identity and efforts were joustled and shaken. All while jesus slept.
But the storm is over. I can tell because there is a quiet confidence that is not my own....a peace and stillness that hangs over my soul despite my religious leanings otherwise, a rest that only He could bring to this battered heart.
Truely..."A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish." (isaiah 42:3)
So I hold on with fresh hope....with thankfulness that there is today and tomorrow and learning to live from this place.
"Lord, to whom shall (I) go? You have the words of eternal life. (I) have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God." Isaiah 6:68-69
I dont know much anymore God...but I know I love you.
Perhaps Im not alone:
Webisode 4
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Sunday, December 09, 2007
Embracing weakness
"Rick Hoyt is a severely disabled man. He is a mute quadriplegic who suffers from cerebral palsy and whose only way of communicating is through typing, with his mouth, into a special computer.
5 years ago when Rick was a teenager, he read a story about a charity run that was being organized to help a young man in his school who had just become paralyzed in an accident. Rick’s heart was moved and he typed out to his dad that he wanted to participate in the race as a way of showing this young man that life wasn’t over because he was now disabled.
His dad, touched by his son’s request, agreed to push him in the 5-mile race. It was 5 miles that would affect the whole journey of their lives
Since that first race, Dick Hoyt has participated with his son in hundreds of marathons and even iron men contests where he has not only pushed a wheelchair with his 110 pound son for 26.2 miles but he has towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars -- all in the same day.
Yet when they cross the finish line, it’s Rick, not his father, who gets the ribbon placed around his neck.
Each one of us has a race the Lord is calling us to run but it feels like He’s asking us to run the Boston Marathon when we can barely jog around our neighborhood. We feel disabled by the limitations and weaknesses we see in our lives.
Some of us become discouraged. We decide that we’ll never be qualified to run “the big race” so we don’t even try. Instead we’re content to stay on the sidelines or jog in a few small races. But deep inside we know we’ve never stepped up fully to all that the Lord has for us.
Others of us begin to train obsessively. We work hard to perfect ourselves so that we can be properly prepared for the race. The problem is we never feel prepared. There’s always something else we could be doing better, some other area of our lives that needs fixing before we can enter the race.
When the Lord calls us to run a race it’s not because He thinks we’re qualified. In fact it’s the opposite. God delights in choosing foolish things to shame the wise and weak things to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). Why? Because God’s power is made perfect in weakness.
Paul understood this and that is why he could say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
How many of us can honestly say we boast in our weaknesses? How many of us are willing to swallow our pride and openly display our weaknesses so that the power of God can rest on us?
The truth is we don’t expose our weaknesses – we hide them. We use them as an excuse not to venture with God. Or we frantically try to fix them so we can be “good enough” to be used by God.
In the story of Rick and Dick Hoyt it is the son’s weakness that allows the father’s love and strength to be displayed. That is what deeply moves us. Imagine what would happen if we, as believers, would “glory in our weakness”? What kind of pure love and power of God could be displayed to the world around us?
We are in a season where the Father is establishing us in rest. We hear the Lord is saying “Peace! Be Still” to the endless hamster wheel of human perfectionism. We don’t have to run around and around in circles anymore, trying to fix our weaknesses. We have a loving Father who will never call us to a race without giving us the grace to complete it – even if it means that He has to carry us the whole way. May we, like Paul, learn to boast in our weakness that Christ’s power may be seen. " (watchmen.org/seasonoflights/vision.asp)
5 years ago when Rick was a teenager, he read a story about a charity run that was being organized to help a young man in his school who had just become paralyzed in an accident. Rick’s heart was moved and he typed out to his dad that he wanted to participate in the race as a way of showing this young man that life wasn’t over because he was now disabled.
His dad, touched by his son’s request, agreed to push him in the 5-mile race. It was 5 miles that would affect the whole journey of their lives
Since that first race, Dick Hoyt has participated with his son in hundreds of marathons and even iron men contests where he has not only pushed a wheelchair with his 110 pound son for 26.2 miles but he has towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars -- all in the same day.
Yet when they cross the finish line, it’s Rick, not his father, who gets the ribbon placed around his neck.
Each one of us has a race the Lord is calling us to run but it feels like He’s asking us to run the Boston Marathon when we can barely jog around our neighborhood. We feel disabled by the limitations and weaknesses we see in our lives.
Some of us become discouraged. We decide that we’ll never be qualified to run “the big race” so we don’t even try. Instead we’re content to stay on the sidelines or jog in a few small races. But deep inside we know we’ve never stepped up fully to all that the Lord has for us.
Others of us begin to train obsessively. We work hard to perfect ourselves so that we can be properly prepared for the race. The problem is we never feel prepared. There’s always something else we could be doing better, some other area of our lives that needs fixing before we can enter the race.
When the Lord calls us to run a race it’s not because He thinks we’re qualified. In fact it’s the opposite. God delights in choosing foolish things to shame the wise and weak things to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). Why? Because God’s power is made perfect in weakness.
Paul understood this and that is why he could say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
How many of us can honestly say we boast in our weaknesses? How many of us are willing to swallow our pride and openly display our weaknesses so that the power of God can rest on us?
The truth is we don’t expose our weaknesses – we hide them. We use them as an excuse not to venture with God. Or we frantically try to fix them so we can be “good enough” to be used by God.
In the story of Rick and Dick Hoyt it is the son’s weakness that allows the father’s love and strength to be displayed. That is what deeply moves us. Imagine what would happen if we, as believers, would “glory in our weakness”? What kind of pure love and power of God could be displayed to the world around us?
We are in a season where the Father is establishing us in rest. We hear the Lord is saying “Peace! Be Still” to the endless hamster wheel of human perfectionism. We don’t have to run around and around in circles anymore, trying to fix our weaknesses. We have a loving Father who will never call us to a race without giving us the grace to complete it – even if it means that He has to carry us the whole way. May we, like Paul, learn to boast in our weakness that Christ’s power may be seen. " (watchmen.org/seasonoflights/vision.asp)
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Finding my voice
"Open your mouth for those who cannot speak, and for the rights of those who are left without help. Open your mouth. Be right and fair in what you decide. Stand up for the rights of those who are suffering and in need." Proverbs 31:8-9
My daughter and I have been on a journey through history in our studies together and I am being increasingly broken by humanity's past and humanity at present. We still live in a world where life and freedom are not fully protected and honoured.
"The thief comes only to steal, slaughter, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." - Jesus (John 10:10)
I can relate to the internal agony of Wilberforce as illustrated in the movie "Amazing Grace". Ignorance is indeed bliss but truth untouched is silent torture. I am becoming fully aware that there is a lions roar in me that has been supressed and struggles to find a voice. Because my own voice was silenced....I have found it easier to shut out the crys of others. I have found myself indifferent to the small acts of justice done by unjaded children.
As I reflected on personal moments of passion as a child I noticed they were always connected to rescue. When I dream in the night, I dream of rescue. When I imagine my future, I always see rescue. I know who I am when deep calls to deep. But I'm stuck. Freedom must reach me first. I am ready to be broken.
"What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." - Martin Luther King
More Love, More Power, More of you Jesus. Let your kingdom come in me and then may it spill out, a fragrant offering.
"If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large” -William Wilberforce-
http://www.antislavery.org/
http://www.jfci.org/
http://www.bound4life.ca/
My daughter and I have been on a journey through history in our studies together and I am being increasingly broken by humanity's past and humanity at present. We still live in a world where life and freedom are not fully protected and honoured.
"The thief comes only to steal, slaughter, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." - Jesus (John 10:10)
I can relate to the internal agony of Wilberforce as illustrated in the movie "Amazing Grace". Ignorance is indeed bliss but truth untouched is silent torture. I am becoming fully aware that there is a lions roar in me that has been supressed and struggles to find a voice. Because my own voice was silenced....I have found it easier to shut out the crys of others. I have found myself indifferent to the small acts of justice done by unjaded children.
As I reflected on personal moments of passion as a child I noticed they were always connected to rescue. When I dream in the night, I dream of rescue. When I imagine my future, I always see rescue. I know who I am when deep calls to deep. But I'm stuck. Freedom must reach me first. I am ready to be broken.
"What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." - Martin Luther King
More Love, More Power, More of you Jesus. Let your kingdom come in me and then may it spill out, a fragrant offering.
"If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large” -William Wilberforce-
http://www.antislavery.org/
http://www.jfci.org/
http://www.bound4life.ca/
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
made in His image
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The God of the impossible
With hope deferred and failures too many to list...I was broken this week by what seems impossible and out of reach; relational wholeness, unity and honor.
My youngest son reminded me today: "Mommy if God is powerful enough to create this whole world than He is powerful enough to help us learn to love one-another."
Out of the mouths of babes tender wisdom is spoken.
"One of the keys to life is to feed on what God is doing and what he has done and NOT on what he hasn't yet done. So often we face disappointment which will put us in a place of vulnerability. What we need is to be ever conscious of a God who invades the impossible." - Bill Johnson
My youngest son reminded me today: "Mommy if God is powerful enough to create this whole world than He is powerful enough to help us learn to love one-another."
Out of the mouths of babes tender wisdom is spoken.
"One of the keys to life is to feed on what God is doing and what he has done and NOT on what he hasn't yet done. So often we face disappointment which will put us in a place of vulnerability. What we need is to be ever conscious of a God who invades the impossible." - Bill Johnson
Sunday, March 04, 2007
When heaven invades earth
The key to evangelism and sanctification are real encounters with God. The LIVING God. In spirit and in truth. Through the supernatural experience of divine glory, and through earthly containers of glory.
The word became flesh.....and moved into the neighbourhood
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski
Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.
Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.
She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.
The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.
She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.
I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.
Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.
She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.
On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.
Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.
"...we must remember that it was not by interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give our superfluity and draw back before we sacrifice of ourselves." (Amy Charmichael)
The word became flesh.....and moved into the neighbourhood
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski
Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."
I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.
Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.
She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.
The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.
She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.
I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.
Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.
She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.
On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.
Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.
After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.
She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.
As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.
We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.
I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.
"...we must remember that it was not by interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give our superfluity and draw back before we sacrifice of ourselves." (Amy Charmichael)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The Word became flesh
"The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, (Full of Grace and Truth) Generous inside and out, true from start to finish." John 1:14
I went seeking you - in your precepts, in your promises. You were there, but there was more....
Jesus, you are so real. It's Incredible!
You are tangible, accessible, touchable, and reachable!
You are everything I have ever and always wanted and needed. You are my Father. You are my friend. You are my brother. You are my lover. You are my breath. You are my will. You are my desire. There is no other.
I want to hold your hand, always. Never let mine go. I want to fly beneath your wings, kiss your feet and laugh when you kiss mine, sing in harmony with you and dance in time. I see your smile cheering me on. How sweet your gaze oh Beloved one!
I went seeking you - in your precepts, in your promises. You were there, but there was more....
Jesus, you are so real. It's Incredible!
You are tangible, accessible, touchable, and reachable!
You are everything I have ever and always wanted and needed. You are my Father. You are my friend. You are my brother. You are my lover. You are my breath. You are my will. You are my desire. There is no other.
I want to hold your hand, always. Never let mine go. I want to fly beneath your wings, kiss your feet and laugh when you kiss mine, sing in harmony with you and dance in time. I see your smile cheering me on. How sweet your gaze oh Beloved one!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
When all is crashing down...there is You
In the stillness of a moon-lit night...I looked up and remembered my life
How could I taste, how could I touch or even breathe
How could I hear your voice, or move or even speak
Without you...
In the dawning of a brand new day
I woke up and creation praised
how could i question, think too hard or ever doubt you
When all the earth shouts out that life would never even be
Without you...
In the silence of a cold, dark room I looked up and could still see you
How could you pick me up every time I fall
How could I ever make it through this life at all
Without you...
In Him I live, In Him I move and have my being
- Jesse Goodman (In the stillness)
How could I taste, how could I touch or even breathe
How could I hear your voice, or move or even speak
Without you...
In the dawning of a brand new day
I woke up and creation praised
how could i question, think too hard or ever doubt you
When all the earth shouts out that life would never even be
Without you...
In the silence of a cold, dark room I looked up and could still see you
How could you pick me up every time I fall
How could I ever make it through this life at all
Without you...
In Him I live, In Him I move and have my being
- Jesse Goodman (In the stillness)
Friday, January 26, 2007
Dark, but Lovely
"There is, for each of us, a point of choice, when we determine just exactly who we will be. Whether we will continue to stay behind the veil of our own darkness, or come close to Him despite it. It is this desperate longing to draw near to Him, even in the midst of our sin, which leads us to the place where His sheep feed and find rest. We remember anew that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). It causes us to see ourselves in a different light. We are no longer the “veiled.” We are the Beloved." – John Crowder
Father I feel your grace this year! I was tempted to bemoan my failures but you said "Forget the former things..." I await the wind of your Spirit. Blow apon these fragile wings. I DO want to soar with YOU!
"We have to understand both dimensions of the redeemed heart to understand the grace of God in a more complete way. There is a greater capacity for sin in our hearts than we comprehend. No one fully grasps the depth of the wickedness in the human heart. We have many unperceived areas of sin which lie undetected below the surface like hidden fault lines. On the other hand, the grace of God has helped us in ways which we do not fully understand. "
"To know that I am dark yet lovely is to understand my weakness, which is comprised of my sinfulness, my immaturity and my natural limitations together with the revelation of my loveliness to Him. “Bow down Your ear, O Lord, hear me; for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life, for I am holy” (Psalm 86:1,2). Without understanding this combined confession, we cannot continually progress in our pursuit of love. We are both far weaker and far lovelier than we realize. This is one of the most difficult tensions for a believer to combine. Typically we can understand one side of this paradox or the other, but we have difficulty grasping both of them together. By knowing our darkness, we fully receive and draw upon His strength. By nature, we so often want to be able to stand in our own resolution and commitments to the Lord. Yet God is committed to revealing the weakness of our flesh to us. He wants us to have a leaning heart at the end of the journey. He desires that we would not find our confidence in our commitment to Him but in His commitment to us. As Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it”? (Jeremiah 17:9)
"By knowing our beauty to Him we are empowered to have confidence before God even when our sin and immaturity is unveiled. When the enemy comes with accusation regarding my weakness or immaturity, I respond with the truth of Jesus’ delight in me even in my weakness. When He comes to deceive me into taking pride in my beauty or strength, I respond with the vivid remembrance of my weakness. Our loveliness protects us from shame and condemnation. Our weakness keeps us from pride and arrogance. Together they enable us to wholeheartedly abandon ourselves in love, confident before Him." - Dana Chandler
"We are God's image - yes, but we are not yet God's likeness; we have a capacity for God - yes, but it is not yet fully actualized. And so it is that to experience our divine capacity is to experience our innate nobility and our innate poverty - both experiences urging us on in our quest for God." - (quote from the Notre-Dame de l'Assomption Abbey)
Father I feel your grace this year! I was tempted to bemoan my failures but you said "Forget the former things..." I await the wind of your Spirit. Blow apon these fragile wings. I DO want to soar with YOU!
"We have to understand both dimensions of the redeemed heart to understand the grace of God in a more complete way. There is a greater capacity for sin in our hearts than we comprehend. No one fully grasps the depth of the wickedness in the human heart. We have many unperceived areas of sin which lie undetected below the surface like hidden fault lines. On the other hand, the grace of God has helped us in ways which we do not fully understand. "
"To know that I am dark yet lovely is to understand my weakness, which is comprised of my sinfulness, my immaturity and my natural limitations together with the revelation of my loveliness to Him. “Bow down Your ear, O Lord, hear me; for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life, for I am holy” (Psalm 86:1,2). Without understanding this combined confession, we cannot continually progress in our pursuit of love. We are both far weaker and far lovelier than we realize. This is one of the most difficult tensions for a believer to combine. Typically we can understand one side of this paradox or the other, but we have difficulty grasping both of them together. By knowing our darkness, we fully receive and draw upon His strength. By nature, we so often want to be able to stand in our own resolution and commitments to the Lord. Yet God is committed to revealing the weakness of our flesh to us. He wants us to have a leaning heart at the end of the journey. He desires that we would not find our confidence in our commitment to Him but in His commitment to us. As Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it”? (Jeremiah 17:9)
"By knowing our beauty to Him we are empowered to have confidence before God even when our sin and immaturity is unveiled. When the enemy comes with accusation regarding my weakness or immaturity, I respond with the truth of Jesus’ delight in me even in my weakness. When He comes to deceive me into taking pride in my beauty or strength, I respond with the vivid remembrance of my weakness. Our loveliness protects us from shame and condemnation. Our weakness keeps us from pride and arrogance. Together they enable us to wholeheartedly abandon ourselves in love, confident before Him." - Dana Chandler
"We are God's image - yes, but we are not yet God's likeness; we have a capacity for God - yes, but it is not yet fully actualized. And so it is that to experience our divine capacity is to experience our innate nobility and our innate poverty - both experiences urging us on in our quest for God." - (quote from the Notre-Dame de l'Assomption Abbey)
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